this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 162 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I gotta say fellas, that is the most erotic thing I've read this decade, and the wife got me into romfic last year.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah I wish this story was true and happened to me as well lmao

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In my opinion, it would be even better if the roles were reversed, and the guy was giving oral sex.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why do you assume it was a woman giving head

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I didn't. That's why I used the neutral term "oral sex" instead of blowjob or pussy licking

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

What a ~~cunnilingus~~ cunning linguist!

[–] [email protected] 82 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You know... I never even considered that this was being told from a woman's perspective, I 100% just assumed it was a dude, there was no doubt in my mind.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

I saw meme Netflix girl with the crazy eyes and gun when I was reading it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Given the pink triangle in their profile pic, I'm gonna assume OOP is a gay man.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 80 points 1 month ago

I always thought my kink was too specific, but look, there it is for all to see.

[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I would gladly be on either side of this, tbh. I did once get a bit of a blowjob during doctor who, but I made him stop because I couldn't focus on the episode (heaven sent). We canoodled after, but he was clearly upset I valued a show over sex. But, like, it was heaven sent! And it was the premier of the episode. I made the right choice.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Lmao mood, like if you're going to put something on for background noise it better be something neither of us care about. Being on the giving end sounds amazing, marathon dick sucking to go with marathon lotr watching, amazing.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Yeah, I could totally be on the giving end, and wouldn't mind being on the receiving end, if the blower were also into what was on, and it was like a major edging session like in the image.

Or, y'know, if we did it doggy style and both watched xfiles

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

...are you doing anything next weekend?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

... Ain't nothing but mammals...

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Heaven sent is my favorite episode with Capaldi, just the idea and plot of the episode is well written and the acting is wonderful too

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Pretty sure practically the same thing happened in Queer As Folk before RTD went on to reboot Doctor Who.

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 month ago (1 children)

reeling

  1. Being too awestruck or shocked to comprehend anything
  2. to be laughing uncontrollably to the point you don’t know what bodily fluids will excrete from your orifices

(Urban Dictionary)

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It has the same definition in a real dictionary, too.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Urban dictionary is a real dictionary.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

Missed opportunity to say "reel" dictionary.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago

God that's hot af

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is why the ideal background movie is any Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie. They are hilarious, but ultimately the movies behind them tend to be boring. You don't usually need to pay attention to the plot to get most of the jokes. So, your attention can weave in and out. They are also usually monotone enough to fall asleep to, which is a bonus.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I lost my virginity during a Turkey Day marathon. 100% serious.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago (7 children)

Extremely relatable. I tried to watch LOTR with my boyfriend who never saw it/cared about it. He was like eating snacks and not hearing all the dialogue. I had to turn it off after 10 minutes and crying twice already. I couldn't do it. I cared too much.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So this means you're single now? He's obviously not worthy. ;)

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago

God I wish that were me. Either of them, I don't care

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago

Lucky bastard

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm guessing the edging was again at maximum during the Aragorn helmet kicking scene.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He reacted the same way Aragorn did.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

You know, he broke his toe during that scene. That's why the scream was so soulful. If you didn't know any better, you'd just assume the look on his face and the passionate shouting were just from the blowjob.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's Two Towers. Let's hope he gets another date.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago

I hope this doesn't awaken anything in me

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Oh come on, "my precious" was RIGHT there...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (3 children)

She was explaining bombadil, cause he's not in the movies, right?

Never got through the books and don't recall him in the movies. He's magic card is super neat if very narrow, anyone wanna give me a quick Who or what he is?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

Sure, pull your pants down.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Tom Bombadil is a Tolkien self insert who is immune to the effects of the ring and has a really hott wife iirc

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Huh haven't heard of the self insert thing. Thought bombadil was one of the valor in stealth mode?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe, there's also an argument to be made for Tom being an earthly embodiment of eru the creator given the whole knowing the world when it was young and seeing the first rain and first acorn bit.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

...mmmomma...

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