this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

Dont care if this is fake, just feel like floating some ideas in case someone fr is stuck like this.

— try volunteering with online-only things which don’t require social interaction, like maintaining a code base, maintaining a wiki (on a topic of your choice), doing translation/digitizing or other services for a library.

— do work via Amazon mechanical Turks or similar services.

— read about how to self-care for autistic personalities, or people with neurodivergent traits. Just read everything you can find on the topic.

— volunteer for non-invasive research with universities, like answering psych questions. You’ll get some pocket change. I’d advise against volunteering for clinical stuff where you inject stuff into your body or take pills, it’s too risky.

— join an online dnd group, or other game group.

— don’t talk to people about being vulnerable or lonely, unless you can tell the difference between predators (who prey on lonely people) and normal people.

— get a certification in something, whatever you like. Doesn’t have to be programming or coding related. At least start learning for it, and preparing for it in some way. Don’t spend money on training materials till you know what you want for real. If you don’t have money for training materials, do a gofundme.

— volunteer at your local library, or national parks service to clean up trails.

— volunteer with your local church or food bank or homeless shelter.

— I cannot stress this enough, don’t open to strangers you don’t know/trust unless you’re sure they’re not a predator. Emotionally vulnerable people are like moths to a flame for such people. Read about the signs of narcissistic or cult-like influencer personalities.

And idk what else, but I’ll leave it here. Don’t know if the above would work for everyone, and I am open to corrections

[–] [email protected] 3 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

This DEFINITELY fake. You don't hold a job, get groceries or buy gas and only go outside 6 times in 15 years.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 14 hours ago

They don’t drive, why are they getting gas? They said never had a job, how does that equate to going outside? No mention of groceries at all, I’d assume they are mooching those off their parents as well.

Not saying it’s real, but your stated reasons of it being fake are pretty much directly in contradiction to what they claim.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 15 hours ago

I wish I lived this life. Sleeping in your car is awful, but I have been told to be grateful I had a car to sleep in. Low fucking standards...

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Holy hell. Even if it was fake, that was depressing. Even more so if real.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Of course it's fake. A loser like this wouldn't know how many digits is a good salary to begin with.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 23 hours ago

I know someone like this. In fact, I read this and I think it could be him. I don’t know for sure. I would reach out, but I honestly don’t know him well.

He’s good friends with my partner. They went to school together. They play games together over Discord regularly. I’ve only met him once.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

😐🤷‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 4 points 21 hours ago

This isn't terribly far away from being me, except i randomly went to an art school for a couple years. Didn't exactly pick up many marketable skills there lmfao

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

My brother in law is this guy but doesn't care about the getting a job part. He plans to kill himself when the second parent dies and I belive him.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I know all greentexts are fake, but:

  • get a job at local walmart / krogers / etc. Try doing full time but if you can only handle part-time, stick with that
  • after doing that for a while (at least 3-4 months, pref. at least a year) go to the local community college and ask about doing a GED (high school diploma)
  • take it slow at first. maybe one class at a time. try to work your way up to 3-4 classes, OR 1-2 classes while holding down a job. keep an eye out for a better job.
  • once you're getting toward the end of your GED, talk to your counselor about your career goals.
[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 days ago

And start walking and counting calories today. Cutting weight can happen later, you start by figuring how much you're actually eating then slowly reducing it.

And if you start exercising by running while out of shape and obese you're just going to be too miserable to keep going. So you walk, figure out how much it takes to get exhausted then do it every day you can. I once did 10k steps every day indoors. What was that like? 3 hours of walking in circles. But it was what I could do. From there start trying other things trying to find things that have reasonable impact that aren't so miserable you won't do them.

If you have to choose between dieting and exercising, pick exercising. A sedentary lifestyle destroys motivation in all aspects of life. Every other aspect of self improvement is going to take a long time to see real benefit, but it doesn't take long to get fit enough to notice and it impacts every aspect of your life.

Also numbers are easy to overprioritize. The goal is health. Not some amount you can lift, not some distance you can bike, not a waistline size (though I've heard it's a useful indicator for heart health), not bmi, and not weight. All of those numbers can help you figure out how healthy you might be, but I've seen people walk into eating disorders and body dysmorphia over all that and the fact is you don't need to look like a movie star to be healthy.

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[–] [email protected] 89 points 2 days ago (2 children)

It sounds like you'd be comfortable in prison. There is probably a Luigi to-do list somewhere you could pick a name from and then arrange to join him in a neighboring cell.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 23 hours ago

There's not a lot of overlap in the Venn diagram between the type of person described in this text and someone like Luigi. Remember, Luigi was the Valedictorian of his class. To do what he (possibly) did requires a great deal of knowledge, planning, and skill. You're talking about someone that allegedly manufactured their own weapon from scratch, tracked down the CEO of a fortune 500 company, plotted for a moment of peak vulnerability, and was able to escape the scene of the crime in a daring and intricately planned escape. Oh, and he also managed to do it all in a way that turned him into a beloved folk hero.

With Luigi's alleged crime, you're looking at the work of genuinely skilled and intelligent person. Someone like the guy in this green text isn't going to be taking down any CEOs or politicians any time soon.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Hoenstly, probably better than being homeless. Life in prison as a local hero among inmates for deposing a capitalist.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I was homeless, and also briefly in jail for doing something others had respected; jail sucks and is never preferable, but it certainly made things a lot easier than it would have been had I not entered with respect. On my first day I was receiving gatorades, instant noodles, and muffins from people stopping by my cell. I even was given all the paper and pencils I wanted to do my art.

Homelessness was risky, but I would still choose it over jail with respect. Not to say that the sacrifice wouldn't be worth it if you did the right thing.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just out of sheer curiosity… What’d you do to get respected right away? Aside from merc’ing a CEO or a pedophile, I can’t think of many other things.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 21 hours ago

I really don't want to describe too much as my identity could be found from it, but it helped that it was all over the news. Before anyone realized that it was me, people were trying to intimidate me from the cells by yelling things at me. Once people found out that the news was about me, things turned around fast.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Thanks for the insight! Sounds like you're doing a lot better now

[–] [email protected] 2 points 21 hours ago

Better is one way to put it. Though I may end up homeless again if I can't find some work soon. I just had a ton vet bills for a sick pet come in and I injured my leg, it's not super great prospects at the moment. :(

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago

Bro is living the dream.

[–] [email protected] 133 points 2 days ago (25 children)

How hard are 6 figure jobs to get?

High School dropout NEET directly to 6-figure would probably need to involve selling drugs or something, right?

[–] [email protected] 79 points 2 days ago

Obese, awkward, stammering, stumbling INTERNATIONAL ASSASSIN 😎

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[–] [email protected] 99 points 2 days ago (5 children)

Unless Anon is willing to put in some serious work, like properly going back to school or busting their ass learning (and getting good at) a trade, then their life is kinda fucked.

You can't just crawl out of almost 20 years of NEETing into really any kind of job, especially without the charisma to at least try masking it.

Also fuck knows why Anon's parents just let them drop out of school and basically cease to exist outside of playing videogames for best part of two decades. That's plain bad parenting.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

I have friends in these situations where they dropped out and they somehow hold themselves above a minimum wage job with stuff like "I'm worth more than that", " I'm over qualified to flip burgers", and "i can't move out on that wage". I try to tell them they at least have to work some basic position just to prove to future employers you can actually show up each shift. Completing highschool on a resume isn't just an education. It shows you're willing to stick through something even if it wasnt fun or got difficult at times and can be one of the first signs to an employer that you have potential to be reliable.

I get it, it does suck making minimim wage and it might not be enough to move out of moms basement tomorrow, but after 20 years in moms basement its gonna take work to get outta there.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 23 hours ago

"I'm holding out for a management position."

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[–] [email protected] 64 points 2 days ago (17 children)

Use a voice changer and become a twitch streamer with one of those female anime avatars. Hoards of desperate guys will throw themselves at his feet to try and catch a glimpse of the real person behind the anime avatar.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I played so many games from 8yo to 22yo that I legit ran out of games to play, I emulated old consoles. I played on good hardware, I played competitive games, single player. at some point after my first year out of highschool I was like damn I've rna out of games to play.

I guess it helped that the game industry ran out of juice in the last decade or so and the number of games that interest me plummeted (probably because I'm older also)

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