this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
861 points (99.4% liked)

Microblog Memes

6516 readers
4304 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 hours ago

When someone tells you who they are, listen.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 13 hours ago

Interesting how these types of people seem to have a set of phrases with their own fixed meanings that don't necessarily correspond to the literal meanings of the words that make them up. "Can't trust the government" in this context really means "can't trust liberals/progressives". You can see that in her response if you watch the video. She's not stumped when the reporter points out the apparent contradiction. She expect everyone to make the same mental substitution, under which there is no contradiction.

Another good example is a 5 minute youtube video about homelessness from a fake university with an orange logo. They cite an example of a bridge between Los Angeles and Culver City that has a major homeless encampment on one side, but not the other, due to different laws in the two cities. To quote directly:

the Los Angeles side is full of tents and the Culver City side is empty. Why? Because the two cities have different public policies. Los Angeles has effectively decriminalized public camping and drug consumption while Culver City enforces the law.

If Los Angeles has no law against homelessness, then what law is it supposedly failing to enforce? This seems like a contradiction, until you realize that "Culver City enforces the law" has nothing to do with actual laws, but with the "law" of the moral framework that the authors are trying to propagandize.

[–] [email protected] 146 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

And she's the secretary for homeland security of all things now?...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 hours ago

Ok, news break! The President of the US is the most obvious foreign actor the country has ever had. This is like if Benedict Arnold was actually President while trying to overthrow the government, then running again and winning. His main goal is to weaken the US as much as possible for his daddy, Putin. If this appointment surprised you, get ready. It's gonna get a lot worse.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 hours ago

They’re not sending their best.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 13 hours ago

“less than useless”

Hey, that's the same type of language my mother use against me, a human being...

🙃

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Literal, actual retards are running the show now.

Placed there by literal, actual removed Americans.

Wild that our country became so pathetic.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 hours ago

It would be great if you could avoid using ableist slurs to refer to people you don't like

[–] [email protected] 32 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

They need to stop hitting themselves in the face with the ugly stick. Holy shit.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago

Her nickname is Branches.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (2 children)

Is there a name for this phenomenon for when people start to look inbred due to having all of the terrible plastic surgery? It's like the Habsburg jaw but within a single generation because the deformity wasn't a product of breeding.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

Brian Posehn called it "Hot Girl Down Syndrome" several years ago on a special. While I understand that is problematic, it's so spot on it does work as a fantastic shorthand.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago

My boy posehn got Nickelback all but removed from the airwaves.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 hours ago

Im so using this! Ha!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 15 hours ago

Laminated face ~ Bill Burr

[–] [email protected] 23 points 16 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 58 points 19 hours ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago

Elon Musk is part of the administration that is helping us identify where we can find...savings.

I wonder what she almost said

[–] [email protected] 73 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Holy shit, I wasn’t expecting it to be word for word the same. Wow…

Points for honesty… I guess?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 18 hours ago

To be fair, it was like 2 overlapping conversations interrupting each other.

Still, though, she can go fuck off.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 18 hours ago (5 children)

"We'll be continuing to talk to him about what he has access to"

Thats what you do before you give them access. Who is she and what is her position of authority? Something tells me i dont want to know.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (1 children)

Wow CNN "journalists" really can't interview worth a damn.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 17 hours ago (15 children)

Is it just me or does anyone else have to fight the urge to be horribly misogynistic to these Trump worshippers? I always fall back to my gender-neutral profanity (such as "Trump's shit-guzzler") but I just feel a deep rooted desire to be as maximally offensive to and about MAGA cultists and enablers as humanly possible. I know it's lazy but I mean if anyone deserves to be insulted in the most extreme way possible it's these creatures.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 17 hours ago (4 children)

It's fine, you can call her a cunt

[–] [email protected] 21 points 15 hours ago

Nah, she lacks the depth and warmth.

Call her a Nazi.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 13 hours ago

They're literal traitors to the United States of America that are attempting to dismantle its government, causing unimaginable suffering.

They deserve a lot more than being called mean names.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 16 hours ago (4 children)

Don't let them bring you down to their level. There's so many fun gender neutral insults.

  • ASVAB waiver
  • Middle School Drop Out
  • Failed Abortion
  • Incest Experiment
  • Good Idea Fairy
  • Shit Fucker
  • Couch Fucker <-- Thank you JD Vance!
  • Two Balls Short of a Spine
  • A family tree with no branches
  • Couldn't fight/talk their way out of a wet cardboard box

I mean really, there's just so many.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

or better yet, Shakespeare Insult Generator! https://www.librarieshawaii.org/learn/brain-games/bardly-barbs/

  • Thou paunchy clapper-clawed boar-pig
  • You fobbing nut-hook carbuncle!
  • You paunch bilbo wag!
  • mew fut barnacle!
  • fawn bully angel!
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

If you must give up your values then you might as well give them up in exchange for something in return. In this case you get nothing in return which is why I too recommend using gender-neutral insults.

load more comments (11 replies)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (6 children)

We can't trust the government now. We couldn't trust it before either, but we also can't trust it now.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

The sad thing is, there actually used to be some areas in which you could trust the government. You could trust the CDC for health information, the FDIC with your money, the FDA for food regulations, the USPS to deliver your mail..

Nowadays, everything good about government will be getting axed and everything bad amplified. But what can you do~

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 hours ago

But what can you do

[–] [email protected] 9 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

If there's a Covid-25, I wouldn't recommend getting a vaccine from this government. Not without a consensus approval from blue state governments.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

I would wait for a Canada or EU approved vaccine.

Will they require people to be vaccinated to travel if they're explicitly traveling there to be vaccinated?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago

Fun question. Unfortunately, I assume yes. They used to check your vaccination status before granting you entry at the border/airport.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 13 hours ago

What with how Trump is pulling out of WHO and deregulating the chicken industry, if the avian flu becomes transmissible to humans, it will make COVID-19 look like childsplay. At which point things may get so dire vaccine hesitancy is likely to get you killed, and I'd probably recommend a quick plane trip to Canada to get vaccinated, if that's even still an option..

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 16 hours ago

I used to not trust the government.
I still do not trust the government, but I used to, too.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 51 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Everybody can reply

Pictures taken moments before diaaster.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›