Rename it to Mexico. Then the whole gulf of mexico situation is fixed.
this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2025
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A vast amount of it used to be Mexico.
Trade names with the Gulf and become the United States of Mexico.
A not-insignificant amount of the USA was Mexico, at one time.
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(4 replies)
Mississippiland
Formally: Jeb!
Informally: Jebland
Dialectical variant of English: Jeblish
Collective name for the people of Jebland: Jebanese
I’m kidding of course. We all know the process to rename the U.S. would be taken over by the wealthy and we’d wind up named HCH (Human Capital Holdings), LLC, a shell corporation/nation that is jointly owned by Blackrock, Vanguard, and State Street.
Jeb means "fuck" in some languages.
Even better
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The States of Northern Mexico
Listen. I know you said no wrong answers but unfortunately due to the past few decades of the American Political system, pretty much anything is now effectively accurate. Even such things as:
- The Divided States of America
- McMilitary Industrial Complex
- The Paycheck-to-Paycheck Republic
- Red vs Blue
- Gilded Ruins
- AmeriKKKa
- Walmartistan
- Gunlandia
- Yeehaw Reich
- Methlehem
- Debtlandia
- Live, Laugh, Lawsuit
+2 for Yeehaw Reich
+1 for Methlehem
... but it also reminds of my personal favourite ... Alamabadan
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Given the religious fervor throughout its history, how about naming it after an ancient biblical region?
Transjordan?
Wait. Shit, that won't work, even Jordan's gone woke. Maybe something else in the region?
OH! How about Gilead!?
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Fuckwitistan might be prudent after the russian takeover.
oligarchistan
The Adjacent States of Denial
Northern Lands of g.u.l.f. (= greedy unelected lying fascists)
Fartland.
TwatWaffle McDunceland
United States of Lee (after General Robert Lee)
New motto
All For Me and None For Thee
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Still the same guy, but the Firesign Theater suggested decades ago that the country be called Vespucciland.
And yeah, we name everything else after people's last names.
Dumbfuckistan
Serious answer: the Viking settlers named the land "Vinland" long before Columbus was even born. That name is of Germanic origin, same as the English language, and would be appropriate for settlers of Germanic origin (England, Germany, etc.)
Alternatively, a name in ~~the~~ a Native American language would be most appropriate given that they were the original inhabitants of the land.
A name in the Native American language
There is no single native American language. There are over 200 of them, and used to be around 300-400, in 57 different families and over two dozen completely isolated languages (which might not be, but it's hard to find out). And they'd likely be at the very least somewhat mutually culturally insensitive.
So that might be even more difficult than using English, which at least has the benefit of being popular now.
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United States of Native America
United Tribes of America
The Land of the Flee while you still can
South Canada
As Amerigo is the Italianized version of the German 'Emmerich', i'd call it like that.
Bonus is that there is a very unassuming German border town called thusly.
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Needs to be named first.
Wackoland
Donald Trump’s Best, Biggest Country in the World, the Biggest, Juiciest Country there is, you know it, folks, No Illegals Allowed, No Fentanyl, All the Guns! And Covfefe!
Clown Country
Christland