I'm just gonna quote my wife here when I talk about outlandish work stuff:

"Wow." - dream_weasel’s wife

Growing up in USSR we had a saying: a comrad comes to you with a shovel, points to a patch of land and says: "you will dig from here and until supper".

I bet White House, with it's ties to Putin's Russia, means something similar.

Our technologies permit us to manipulate time and space. They leave distance annihilated, cause things to grow, and improve productivity

Ok, so your on drugs. It's not a particularly unique technology tho.

Well they're right: it really feels like 1934 Germany right now.

Please be Aliens bro. Please.

Nothing will meaningfully improve until the rich fear for their lives

I, too, am a source of gravity.

“Our technologies permit us to manipulate time and space. They leave distance annihilated, cause things to grow, and improve productivity”

I - too - can walk, garden, and drink coffee.

The time distortion first came when a huge number of dense people gathered at the same spot in the white house.

• General Relativity 1905
• Special Relativity 1905
• Assclown Relativity 2025

It manipulates space by “moving everything around you until the space around you is not the USA, but El Salvador,” and it manipulates time by making it seem like no time has passed as the space moves, almost like you were put to sleep with a tranquilizer (but that’s definitely not what it was)

They can't even manipulate their own fool heads.

In the speech, Kratsios emphasized the importance of American leadership in emerging technologies and criticized regulatory burdens that, in his view, had slowed progress. "We have weighed down our builders and innovators," he said. "But we are capable of so much more."

"Can we get some comments from the innovators?"

"No we fired them."

if true this explains soooo much.

p

To be fair, these last 3 months have felt like 3 years so maybe they're on to something.

Yea, its called creative accounting ... or fraud.

Sure, sure… Even a plane can “manipulate time and space”.

Too bad they have it set to 1930's germany

I can too.

I can move through space all the way to next to my nightstand and change the clock's time with a little wheel behind it.

white house discovers cannabis

did someone just explain to this guy the half a century old tech scanning tunneling microscope that uses quantum tunneling for imaging

"Prompting online speculation" ... This line can be thrown into literally any news article.

Idiots just threw a wristwatch.

The Time Machine we have at home https://youtu.be/L3LHAlcrTRA

If they had the technology to manipulate time and space they'd just use it to commit election fraud

It's ketamine, isn't it?

Reminds me of this key and peele skit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGFLPbpdMS8

It is called the MAGAt field of stupidity.

Amphetamines are a helluva drug

The cake is a lie! They shouted, certain they had grabbed the cultural zeitgeist by the tail

Oh god, the space age larpers took over

The pseudoscience and grift administration has embraced the Montauk Project

Reminds me of the poster for the Terry Gilliam classic "Time Bandits."

They could travel anywhere in time or space. They just couldn't tie their own shoes."

Then go get everyone’s 401k money back

There is ZERO reason to believe this.

Or at the least there is ZERO reason to believe it in the way that it was interpreted.

I never considered the world where we invent the ability to accelerate time, and just use it for making workers work more shifts so they die even younger just to extract more value relative to those without the technology.

Come with us now on a journey through time and space. To the world of the Might Bullshit.

He who controls the past, controls the present.