And on the flip side, a Cardinal who specifically called him out in the past becomes Pope.
If Vance's faith were honest—which I doubt—he should be having a crisis of conscience right now.
this post was submitted on 08 May 2025
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Fucker should be repenting, but MAGA deleted "Christ", "repentance" from their bibles and pulpits
Imagine having the Midas touch, but instead of gold everything turns to rot. And no need to touch, just the presence is enough to spread the effect.
The Shittas touch
in Spanish, this would be the "mierda" touch. Poetry.
more like shitass amirite
JD is the reverse of when you call over the tech savvy friend to fix an issue and it magically starts working
POV: you took too many shrooms at bonnaroo
He should go on vacation with the CEO of Nestlé and publicly endorse single-use plastics.
You mean like a vacation visiting the Titanic?
While that would be entertaining, remember that Vance seems to destroy everything he's associated with. If we keep him around we can reuse him. Lunch with Putin → Ukraine war is over. He joins the board of a for-profit prison company → the USA outlaws slavery. He does a photo op in a coal plant → the USA go 100% renewable. All plausible outcomes.
This thanatotic Midas touch of his has great potential if used wisely.
If we can control it, that is. His mere presence might cause the United States to descend into a degree of senseless bloodshed that Games Workshop would call over the top so perhaps safe disposal might be in the best interest of humanity...
No, we can harness this power. I can! I... I just need a little time to learn. A compassionate, yet firm, hand to wield the Vance. A scalpel to excise the rot... yes, I have the vision, the will. The fortitude to bear the weight of this responsibility upon my shoulders! If not me, then who? If not now, then when?! No mere Atlas am I, crushed beneath the world's weight.
With the power of the Vance, I shall bear the world...forward.
Or visit Truml at maralago.
Seriously, imagine being a Catholic like Vance and one Pope didn't want to meet you but instead sent his dudes to lecture you, then when you do meet him he dies immediately afterward and then the Cardinals elect a guy who is from your country who can't stand you.
Can we get him to wish the old orange fuckrag a happy birthday? That might be just enough of a nudge.
Driving a convertible down Dealey Plaza in Dallas with Trump in the backseat
Shart of the Dealy
Space or submarine tour with top 10 richest people, as well as Netanyahu, Trump, Putin, and Modi.
Agent Vance , we congradulate on your success o7
After all that adventure, he's gotta be tired. I'd say the next move should be heading back to the White House. :)
"And I saw, and behold, a pale horse: and he that sat upon him, his name was Death; and Hades followed with him. And there was given unto them authority over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with famine, and with death, and by the wild beasts of the earth."
what a walking blight
JD follows Nurgle.
STDlon follows Tzeentch.
Megseth follows Khorne, but he's bad at it.
Trump follows Slaanesh, along with his buddy Epstein.
Cleveland Cliffs, the steel mill his grandfather worked for while raising him, has also shuttered numerous facilities in PA and Ohio this week.
The exact type of industry this administration has dick wagged about having a mandate to protect just went and closed up shop.
The fun part is that even if you protect the factories, they're moving more and more into automation. So the jobs will still be lost.
Oh so Trump is 2 for 2 already on using tariffs to kill Ohio and Pennsylvania steel jobs.
Joking about deporting world cup attendees?
Shame he saved revealing this ability until after the election.
"Go to the Moscow 9 may parade"
We’re here live in Moscow and somehow 4,000 angry chimps have gotten loose and…my goodness they’re hauling away Putin…eating all the snacks…THE SNACKS ARE GONE. MY LORD THE SNACKS ARE GONE.
Pray he never visits the same place as the Greek prime Minister at the same time. I dare not type his name in fear the server will spontaneously combust.
Can they do a joint tour of the Kremlin, pretty please?
Just keep him out of Ohio and on the road somewhere else.
He's got the Midas touch all right.
More like the Mierdas Touch, amirite?
The term "terrorist attack" is entirely meaningless without details.
Maybe a really large garbage disposal or perhaps Israel.
yeah I kinda dont want everyone in israel to die
bc it kinda seems like ur implying that that's what you want
He didn’t kill everyone in the Vatican, just the Pope.
I’m assuming he’d meet with Benny or some other genocider.
Yeah he's an assassin not a nuke