this post was submitted on 26 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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top 28 comments
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[–] [email protected] 55 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I actually did not guess that.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 days ago

it says right there that you guessed it. God would not allow those words to be written down unless it was true.
see also: bible

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Are you saying the image lies??
How dare.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Faithful flatulence.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

God works in mysterious ways

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

He loves to see that ass work

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

He hate us cuz he anus.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

It was supposed to be a fart but it came with friends.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

When you're sliding into first and you feel something burst...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

that's amore

[–] Kowowow 13 points 2 days ago (2 children)

You shouldn't be pre-gaming comunion with worst tacobell has to offer

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

But then what am I supposed to put in the collection plate?

[–] Kowowow 5 points 2 days ago

You hold onto the sauce packet you get when you go after church not before

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Kowowow 3 points 2 days ago

I honestly had no idea what this could be a reply to

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

Shit happens, it jumped up and bit me, life is like a box of chocolates never know when your gonna shit, I JUST KEPT RUNNING

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

The Lord does not accept such excuses. Go in your soiled Sunday best just as you are seen before Him.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Light a candle, ffs.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Wait I thought you didn't make it to church?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Praying to the Porcelain Throne instead of God.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

I don’t think that’s how diarrhea works.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

So it reads that moment of silent prayer, and I just couldn't stop farting. Squeaker after squeaker squoze out of their own volition, almost like a metronome. Every five seconds. I had to get up and leave because I was embarrassed and also was losing a battle against the giggles.

So like let's not say church is always boring.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

cha-cha-cha