this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2025
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WOMEN ONLY COMMUNITY MEN PLEASE DO NOT COMMENT

I totally get the joke, and Pedro can only be a good thing (huge fan, pray daily that he adopts me). But I do understand why some men would find it insulting. What's your thoughts?

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

This space is shifting into TERF territory real quick

Looking at this meme for what it is, it's literally saying "#yesallmen *except Pedro, so I'm not a bigot <3"

It's a really cowardly way to try on ideologies without acknowledging the blatantly harmful aspects

And this space being for women is fine, but the mandatory requirement to say all men are excluded in every post title makes this space reek of the ways TERFs isolate and control women.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

but the mandatory requirement to say all men are excluded in every post title makes this space reek of the ways TERFs isolate and control women.

It's not mandatory, LadyButteryfly is just doing that on some of her posts because so many men comment on posts in this community, which then takes up a lot of time and effort to remove.

The motivation to put the rule in the title of the post is because so many men don't read the rules or notice what community they're in before posting, this helps them be aware and reduces the workload of the moderators.

I hear you on how it can look or seem TERFy, but I think this might just be a misunderstanding, we are explicitly trans inclusive.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It is required in the rules of the community.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

Sounds like we might be talking past one another 😅

The rules of the community are that this is a women-only community, but you said:

the mandatory requirement to say all men are excluded in every post title

I was only clarifying that there is no rule that every post must include language in the post title saying all men are excluded ...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

Thanks for your feedback! Dont worry we don't do that in every post, but we've sadly had manosphere commenters brigade posts like this in the past. I've found it's best to prevent issues with the title. ❤️

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago

Speaking as a trans woman: This meme in particular? Just seems like lighthearted fun, using a joke to praise somebody for being a good person.
But sometimes people take it too far, and the limit for me is when it's treated like there are zero exceptions, all men are bad.
I didn't draw that line arbitrarily. I have lived experience that shows the "all men are trash" crowd are far less likely to treat me as a woman, and more likely to view me as a now vulnerable man who they have an opportunity to take revenge on. Things like laughing at me for having problems they'd be supporting other women for. My mom used to have a friend like that, who laughed and gave me the classic "welcome to being a woman" every time I brought up things like not being able to go home for a while one day because a car tried to follow me there, or when disruptions in my hormone treatment lead to pain and emotional instability.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago

It's excruciating how so many people have missed point of this light hearted meme about a seemingly nice man, and turned it into a bunch of virtue signaling negativity.

This is exactly why I left tumblr.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago

Cringe post.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago

I don't think we have to consider men's opinions on every meme we create, they certainly don't consider women's opinions when they post misogynistic memes

Having said that, this meme is very, very light ribbing, I think even a lot of men will agree that Pedro is especially attractive to women

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago

interesting

[–] [email protected] 120 points 1 week ago (5 children)

But I do understand why some men would find it insulting

Good IMO. Maybe men need better role models. I find it alarming that men in general don't find it insulting that rapists like Tate and dumb fkn meat heads like Rogan claim to represent masculinity.

I say, keep praising men like Pascal and shitting on men like Tate. Maybe the message will finally get through.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 week ago (3 children)

The multiple downvotes on this post and your comment is exactly why the kind of thing that lead to the meme being made in the first place

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (7 children)

You can see the serial downvoters on https://lemvotes.org/ and then just ban them.

Sorry for posting in this thread as a man, I hope it is acceptable to do so in this case. I also feel the downvote brigade is a bit much.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's so cool to see my tool actually being used by people.

After the exams in the next few days I'll have the time to add new features.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I was wondering, is your tool open source?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Of course.

Not making it open source would be a very shitty move. That reminds me, I should link this repo on lemvotes.org

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

awesome, thanks so much!

I was hoping it might be open source so I can run it from my local ...

Might I suggest adding a .nvmrc or using volta pin to pin the node version, I had to infer the node version is v24 based on the Dockerfile 😅

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Sure! Btw will you be running this on your own server? If so you need a Lemmy instance as well, I assume you're lazysoci.al's admin.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I'm lazy and was just trying to set up the tool locally, and I was hoping to point to a remote instance like lazysoci.al but I see it depends on a database 🤔 This might not work as I was hoping ...

EDIT: I see, the voting information comes from having a Lemmy instance, federating to the instance is what allows the admin to see the vote information (who voted for what, etc.)

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago

It is women only but as mod I'm 100% happy with a man offering protective practical support. And don't worry we are used to the downvote brigade! Thanks for looking out for us ❤️

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Omg, I’m finally going to find out who downvotes every cat post

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Woah that's actually quite the downvote brigade for Lemmy. Not too surprised at this point though, unfortunately. They've been more or less behaving themselves since you started this community but it definitely looked to me like others had also tried and failed before you came along.

And the only comment that I've had removed here on Lemmy so far (that I'm aware of at least) was talking about the horribly lopsided stats when it comes to men vs women supporting the Afd and the ideological divide in general. And that was within like my first week here lol. So this is the impression that I have of this place.

And sorry for the 3rd paragraph but on the note of others trying and failing, feels like this community is picking up more steam daily. So I don't see this one going anywhere. Definitely not without a fight.

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[–] [email protected] 77 points 1 week ago (24 children)

Lesbian here, so maybe not the target audience for this. However this kind of meme and discourse makes me somewhat uncomfortable. Like, really? Pedro Pascal is -the only nice guy- in the world, every other guy is trash? Too often I hear women speak about men as if they're inherently bad people, rather than victims of the patriarchy just like them. It reeks of "that's just the way men are" and "boys will be boys", except now it's being used to shame and admonish. Shame isn't going to change mindsets, it's only going to make people defensive. It's not as if men are genetically assholes, but these kinds of memes sure make it sound like they are.

It bothers me because I have a son who will grow up to become a man (at least that's how it's looking right now). I worry about what he internalises when he hears that people expect he'll grow up to be a sexist asshole, just because he was born a boy. I have to defend against that just like I defend my daughter when sexism is directed at her, because frankly that's exactly what it is. If I were told from a young age that the default expectation is I'll grow up to be trash just because I have a penis, why bother to do better? I'd probably also listen to the Tates and Petersons who make me feel good about myself instead.

I understand why women are angry and frustrated, they have every right to be. I've also been on the receiving end of sexist and frankly traumatic shit because I was born a girl. I just don't feel like it'll get any better by creating more division, more "us vs them".

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago

I agree. Male and female have skills that are different. And just like women men can be good or bad. If we want equality we have to consider we do t get that via shame, condescension or derogative statements.

The memes cute but pedro is one of many good men.

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 week ago (5 children)

This is the natural continuation of choosing the bear. We found The Universal Exception. And I truly don't give a fuck if a meme of a dorky pretty 50 year old man hurts someone's feelings.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago

17 minutes up and your comments been downvoted twice... Lord almighty that's fast. Lemmy isn't a good place for feminism...

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I can envision three types of men reacting to this:

A) cool empathetic good guys like Pedro pascal who will realize this is a hyperbolic joke and chuckle a lil bit B) insecure, but not bad dudes who will get all huffy and respond with "#notallmen" C) scary mean men who will take great offense and yell or break things because this meme hurts their feelings but they only understand rage

This analysis, of course, is also a jokey joke and not a doctorate level dissertation, and therefore, it should not be taken too seriously.

Love you all, be safe. May we all meet a Pedro today.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I will never not upvote Pedro...

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yep he's the Internet daddy I bloody love him

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Especially after seeing how he treats and speaks about his sister... he's what we would call a "Goldschatz" in german... He's precious

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