this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2025
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[–] [email protected] 102 points 6 days ago (3 children)

No. He didn't steal. He is a mighty hunter. Yes he is. Yes he is! He hunted down the mighty sausage beast, stalked it, and killed it all on his own. Yes he did! Yes he did! And he did murder while being so adorable! Yes he is. Yes he is!

[–] [email protected] 34 points 6 days ago (1 children)

That's a helluva tale for a neighbor that likely just gave him one

[–] [email protected] 32 points 6 days ago (1 children)

All cats believe in their hearts that they are mighty lions and tigers. Let them have this. :D

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I mean, to any creature that weighs 3 pounds or less, he's right. If you're a field mouse a house cat is a terrifyingly effective predator.

More tuna are eaten by house cats than lions.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Well, according to my cats, they get the tuna because they killed the tuna. They are the mighty hunters after all.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

My cat just finds the nearest big idiot to yell at. That's usually me.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Honestly, if a cat was super interested in one of my bratwurst, I'd give them a present lol probably one I'd let cool for some time too, so it's not too hot for them.

I have a feeling this kitty made some friends, but wouldn't put it past them to snag it haha. My mom's cat used to take all the dog toys in the neighborhood and everyone knew just to come to the door to ask for them back lol

Edit: "if" not "of"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I’d probably cut it in half or something. That’s one bigass meal.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Also probably way more salt than a cat should really have, sausages are (usually) loaded with the stuff to not, y'know, kill you with bacteria.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

and taste good, we need a whole lot more salt than cats do since we're so much bigger and sweat a bunch.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago

For some reason, I'm reading this in John Oliver's voice.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 5 days ago

"Khajiit has wares, if you have coin."

[–] [email protected] 33 points 5 days ago (1 children)

"Quick, let me in, they're right on my tail!"

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 days ago (2 children)

You almost had me believing this unti I remembered he had a sausage in his mouth, so how could he talk :o/

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The Garfield way, of course.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Assuming direct control of Jon

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

Garfield Minus Garfield is the best Garfield. CMM.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

i'm very confused what the slash under the emote means, is it dabbing?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Maybe the o is a nose and the slash is the mouth? Like how ":-)" uses three characters.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 days ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 days ago

Greatest day of his life. He will remember this forever.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Hmm, not a single “no outdoor cats” comment in this whole thread (yet.)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago

NextDoor doesn't know how to log on... yet.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 days ago (1 children)

A neighbors cat once yoinked a hole steak from the table with it's paw xD

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, no need to censor the word "asshole".

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Calamari ass rings chef’s kiss

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

You know the chef is sending a message when your calamari includes the hunting hooks. 😵‍💫

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago

A small cross section of a tube steak, obviously

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago (2 children)

The furry little god pulled a Ferris Bueller and got away with it.

Legend.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

That's what I said, but with more furor.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Abe Froman? The sausage king of Chicago?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

There's no collar on the cat, that's very likely.

In other word oop have good neighbour.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago
[–] humanspiral 8 points 6 days ago (2 children)

peak cat. Mine brings yukky mangled mice and birds.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago

Well if you would just demonstrate that you know how to catch and kill your own, she could relax about trying to teach you.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

You should send them to school with the orcas.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago

Then there's me like: Oh a cat. Here Kitty Kitty. You want a sausage? And there he goes. He's probably afraid of humans.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Now you just gotta teach him/her to team up with the local corvids. 🤌🏼

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

As a kid I had the genius idea of training magpies to steal stuff and bring it to me thinking it was the perfect crime; can't arrest a bird and the bird is who stole. But then I learned that is actually still illegal. 😔

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

Illegal =/= enforceable, FWIW.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago

Good kitty!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago

How was it?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

it's polite to bring something to a potluck

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

Good kitty!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago

So? How was it?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

They also bring the carbon and salt(?)!