this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2025
63 points (98.5% liked)

Ask Lemmy

33254 readers
2025 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected] or [email protected]


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Original question by @[email protected]

top 40 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 hours ago

I've never gone to one but I have a friend that highly recommends fuck up nights (https://en.fuckupnights.com/).

Apparently it's a group that like meets up and like tells each other how they fucked up at work/in life/whatever. Kind of works like a support group but also helps to develop public speaking in a super judgement free environment.

Not totally my cup of tea but it sounds super interesting.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 hours ago

Dancing. There could be many different styles - see what seems interesting for you.

Boardgame events.

Sporty/exercise events (like, walk with others from X to Y).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 hours ago

Libraries tend to have bulletin boards filled with upcoming community events. Plus then you're already at the library so you can grab a book or a movie or something too

[–] [email protected] 3 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

Go to meetup.com, look for subjects you're interested in, and find a local meetup to join. Can be almost anything - wine tasting, board games, gardening, whatever. Pretty much any hobby or professional interest. I met my D&D game group that way before COVID and we're still playing weekly. There are even meetups just to hang out in a group.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Bank Robbery seem quite fun, I highly recommend it

[–] [email protected] 4 points 20 hours ago

And you geht cool bonding experience for the next 5-20 years!

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Board games. Either just standard board games and chat while you play, or something like wavelength, that's a question, or herd mentality to actually get to know people through the game.

[–] mysticpickle 4 points 1 day ago

I'll second this. For some folks just hanging out with people can be exhausting if you're not naturally chatty. Personally, I run out of meaningful things to talk about in focused conversation pretty quickly and need a chance for my brain to "reload" or I'm stuck talking about the weather to keep a conversation going. This goes double with people I don't particularly know well.

If you're playing a game with folks, most of the time everyone's focus is on the game or talking about things related to the game which is easy enough to do since it is a shared experience. I often find I have a whole bandolier of semi-related ideas to discuss or funny quips that build up as we play ready to be deployed at any available opportunity. That feeling of plenty in terms of conversation makes socializing over board games so much easier for me.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Yes, I've met a bunch of interesting people through board games, and one of them is one of my closest friends now! Facebook and Meetup are the top ways to connect, though I try to also promote the lowly, nonprofit GameNight.host whenever I can.

Anyway, Hard to Get is another, solid cooperative discussion game: it's like Codenames, except everyone is on the same team that's trying to pare the grid down to just the 1 assassin word; the clue giver gives highly restricted, awkward/irrelevant clues about it versus all the rest.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Great question! I use Meetup and Bumble BFF. I'm old though...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Meetup used to be great, but seems to be enshittifying more with every passing day.

Are there good alternatives or other ways to find groups to join?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 25 minutes ago

I think the best option I've found is just volunteering in your neighbourhood and asking the people there if they go to any groups or want to do something together

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Join a hobby group or club for activities you’re actually interested in. It could be anything: sports, board games, video games. That way you already have a common interest with the others, and you feel less pressure to make friends because you can still spend your time doing what you enjoy.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This is correct, but, imo, incomplete.

The fact is, some of these groups kind of suck. Maybe they're cliquish. Or maybe they are all dicks, or are judgemental about people who arent in the group. Or maybe they just aren't your vibe for whatever reason.

If you are trying to make friends, I think the advise shouldn't be "join a hobby or club for something you're interested in" but "try out every hobby or club for everything you might be interested in"!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Not fitting in with an existing group is a risk you take no matter which method of seeking friendship you use. Trying out new activities is always a good idea though.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

100%. Also true for any craft/DIY/manual hobby activity, art (music, sketching, painting), and so on.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Chess, book clubs, group running.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago

Walking around in the early evening and stopping wherever people are gathering.

I was just popping out for salad greens, and ran across a group of young people having a picnic on the sidewalk. They had way too much food and were offering to share it with everyone who passed by. I wasn't hungry but I sat down and joined the picnic anyway. Great people! I stayed for over half an hour and I'm so glad I did.

And this isn't a one-off. This is how I met my wife, too, sixteen years ago. You gotta be open to spontaneous experiences.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Rock climbing, go to your local climbing gym (if you have one) and take an intro class and then go hang out once you understand the basics. It’s such a welcoming community and people are really friendly and helpful towards beginners. Gyms also have new climber nights depending on the gym and those are great chances to meet people.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, except that it's $20 per visit. Ridiculous.

The membership at my local is still $60/mo (and is about to increase) so it's not much better.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Lots of gyms have need-based discounts, or will hire you to work, like, 2 shifts per month in return for a free membership. If you already have friends at the gym, they can often give you a guest pass. And some gyms give out free days for meetup groups, or classes that happen at the gym.

Unfortunately, more and more we are in the age of the corporate climbing gym, where they jack up prices but brag about "diversity". The grungy old gyms where a lot of the real community building in climbing happened are slowly fading away.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Luckily I belong to the grungy old type of gym

[–] protojefe 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I second this. Bouldering especially since the climbs are quicker.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

I broke my tibia while bouldering, so be careful and warm up before you go.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Board Games!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

You could try DND open play events at hobby shops.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Larping works great for me.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Another one I have not read in this thread yet: seek out (or organize) activities in your neighbourhood.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

Team sports

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Volunteering or similar work, like lending a hand at small local theater or sports events. Depending on the work they might involve some downtime when you can chat with others and get to know them.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

Playing pool.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That depends on what your interests and hobbies are.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

At some point though, you'll learn to like anything if that's where the friends are.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

I'm not sure I agree with that.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Indeed, I lead a choir and a handbell choir at the church where I work; some handbell ringers became very close friends!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Fighting games. There's a reason the FGC still puts so much emphasis on offline play. Go to your locals, go to majors, don't just sit there playing ranked at home!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

You're on Lemmy, so I'm assuming you're of a geeky mentality. If so, a local hackspace/hackerspace/makerspace would be a good bet.

On paper, my local one is a communal collection of tools we can all use. In practice however, it's an excellent social group for fellow weirdos. We just also have some really fun toys to use, when we need them.

https://wiki.hackerspaces.org/List_of_Hacker_Spaces

It's not fully inclusive of all of them, but a good starting point.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 day ago

War (crimes) you'll be bonded for live threw trauma