The Monkey's Paw

615 readers

2 users here now

Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

I wish all declawed cats got their claws returned to normal (programming.dev)

submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

3 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Arghblarg 19 points 3 days ago

Wish granted. Cats everywhere who were declawed regain their functional digits with a nice new claw.

Wherever more than a dozen protein molecules which used to be part of a once-living, declawed cat, happen to reside in a currently-living being, a new terminal cat digit, complete with new sharp claw, grows spontaneously.

People, plants and animals worldwide suffer as domestic cat claws spontaneously grow, teratoma-like, randomly within or protruding from their living forms. Hospitals are overwhelmed with patients suddenly complaining of painful bumps in various parts of their bodies; some particularly unfortunate individuals are rushed to hospital with ghastly eye disfigurations causing blindness, brain seizures and other maladies, X-rays and CT scans revealing the same cause; small bones and claws in random body locations.