this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
779 points (97.0% liked)

196

2092 readers
1855 users here now

Community Rules

You must post before you leave

Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).

Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.

Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.

Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".

Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.

Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.

Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.

Avoid AI generated content.

Avoid misinformation.

Avoid incomprehensible posts.

No threats or personal attacks.

No spam.

Moderator Guidelines

Moderator Guidelines

  • Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
  • Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
  • When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
  • Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
  • Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
  • Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
  • Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
  • Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
  • Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
  • Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
  • Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
  • Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
  • First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
  • Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
  • No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
  • Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
  • Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.

founded 3 weeks ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 122 points 3 days ago (11 children)

Gender neutral pronouns are just so much more convenient; I tend to use them even when I know someone's gender. I do wish English had some common-use ones that were explicitly singular, though.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 3 days ago (6 children)

I do wish English had some common-use ones that were explicitly singular, though.

In the long run I predict that "they" will follow the same path as "you" - it'll become increasingly more associated with the singular, until it's the default interpretation. I also predict that both "they" and "you" will eventually require a pluraliser to convey the plural.

"Vos" (you, singular) in Rioplatense Spanish followed a similar path.

If that's correct, eventually there'll be explicitly singular second and third person pronouns.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 days ago (4 children)

my prediction is for th'all and y'all or just thal and yal in the long run

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I have a soft spot for ‘yous’, personally.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

youse guyseses

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I tend to use "mates," as "y'all" just doesn't really agree with me.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

how does that work?
"could y'all please help me" -> "could mates please help me"?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Could I get some help, mates?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

you dont need the word mates in that sentence ?w?

and it wouldnt work in like so many situations.

not saying you cant use it, but it doesnt seem like an adequat plural you

[–] [email protected] 1 points 14 hours ago

Well, I guess the need for "y'all" may just may depend on the user's desired level of informality when talking/writing. (To me personally, I just don't like using it as it just sounds wrong to me.)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

My first bet is roughly in this direction, too.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Most people's English is more closely linked to American English anyway, or otherwise follow their own development path

And especially in the age of the internet, where language changes quickly spread globally

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Dude is supposed to be gender neutral and singular.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 3 days ago (5 children)

I'm a dude he's a dude we're all dudes gif from Good Burger

Still, maybe don't. Not everyone agrees with the gender neutrality of "dude". How many dudes have you slept with?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Four. Will be five if my Grindr match pans out tonight.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

i think there is alot to be said about the influence of patriarchy on masculine words becomming applied to everyone. men being seen as the norm and all that...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

You’re correct. But also it’s a nice word. Easy to say and very casual.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Oh man, I've slept with like 10 dudes, 4 guys and 6 gals.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Ahah, you changed it plural which genders it. It’s dudes and dudettes in that case.

Did you see that dude I slept with last night?

Totally different now that it’s a singular.

Yeah language sucks.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago (2 children)

nah i still see "i slept with a dude" as "i slept with a man", sorry

[–] jayk 10 points 3 days ago (2 children)

maybe it's the article that makes it seem masc? A dude, vs "hey, dude!"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I think it's the difference of referencing another person using the word "dude" vs talking to a person and calling them "dude"

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

In my area "dude" is really gender neutral in most cases.

Regional dialects and all that.

Funnily enough so is "man" in a lot of cases.

For example: "Man I don't know what's going on anymore." In this case "man" is less a reference to anyone in any specific way and more like an exasperation (like fuck, shit, hell, etc) and is a really common usage.

Edit: As an example of it's gender-neutralness, "Fuck man, chill it's just the wrong order." In this case "man" is often used in a gender neutral way when referring to a specific person. Also man in this case can be swapped with "bro" and "dude".

Regional dialects can get really weird in some cases, we use the same words but the meanings can be so different.

Language is a beautiful tangled knot that depending on which side you're looking at it from it can change so much.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

"man" used to mean person, it was gender neutral. In fact the root "men" just meant "to think", so a man could be any sapient being.

It was only changed several hundred years ago. "mankind" and other similar universals were meant to represent every human and became exclusionary only under patriarchal interpretation. "mankind" of course endures as universal, but we see lots of "firewoman", "mailwoman", etc., where the language becomes fundamentally gendered.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Totally agree. I think half the problem is that English is a stupid language at times. I have no problem with gender neutral terms but the plural nature of “they” makes my 54 yo brain hurt. I have the same issue with the word data. “The data are” sounds awkward to me.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 days ago (7 children)

You use singular they every single day or at most every single week and you have for your entire life and so did all of your English speaking ancestors including middle English.

'how far out is the pizza guy's 'they're 15 minutes out'

'my coworker was a pain in the ass today' 'what they'd do this time?'

'i think my doctor is famous' 'oh what's their name?'

They was singular before it was plural, and it's singular use is still one of the most common pronouns in English.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

"the data are" also sounded odd to me when I first heard it. After practice it became fine. Now I see it as a green flag that someone may be scientifically literate.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

i think its mostly an issue with not being used to it. "you" is both singular and plural as well and we manage fine. "we" is plural but it does not distinguish between inclusive and exclusive "we". arguably those cases are more rarely relevant, and honestly id prefer if all of them had solutions, but i think we can handle it once we are used to it, or solutions will develop.

btw not trying to be antagonistic here, just sharing my thoughts :3

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

No I totally agree. This really wasn’t a thing for my generation so it just feels weird. And I’m talking about the language aspect only. I’m totally cool with people being who they are.

I just wish there were better alternatives to convey the same meaning without these overloaded English terms. English is just an amalgamation of weird grammar and vocabulary from at least three major languages plus I’m old and change is hard.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I believe I read somewhere that the singular for "they" used to be "thy", but that makes language sound terribly old. Doubt it'll get picked up in the mainstream

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (2 children)

'Thy' is the disused informal 'your'. There's 'thou'/'thee' but that's still second-person.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I think "thy" is singular for "your", "thou" would be singular "you".

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Familiar rather than singular. You wouldn't use thee and thou on someone of higher station, you'd use singular you and and singular your (QE2 used singular "we" in the same mold)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think you have it backwards. A lot of languages (including mine) use some form of plural to address people at a higher station, which isn't really a thing in Egnlish any more since it uses "you" for both singular and plural, but "thy" and "thou" is 100% singular - you would never use these words when addressing a group of people, no matter how familiar or above them in station you are.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Yeah that is correct, I was only describing singular usage. It is commonly believed by English speakers that thee, thou, thine were formal or that you and your are newer

Really we dumped the informal words and started addressing everyone as if they were due respect of rank or station

load more comments (7 replies)