this post was submitted on 28 May 2025
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Greentext

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[–] [email protected] 131 points 4 days ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Imagine his embarrassment when the charcoal just neutralizes all the toxic mountain dew and energy drinks in his guts, his ulcers heal, digestion improves and he feels better with more energy and then decides to go out and take up surfing, where he meets a nice girl on the beach and they hit it off and eventually get married and raise a bunch of kids, then BAM outta nowhere, 27 years later, hit by a truck.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 days ago (2 children)

God that's so fucking awesome lol, what a hero

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

The fuck, man?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

He'd get faster results from eating really old watches.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Nah he'd probably just lose all his teeth and bones if he did that

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

remember to guarnish the pizza in red 40