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FEMA staff confused after head said he was unaware of US hurricane season, sources say
(www.reuters.com)
this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2025
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politics
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Let me say this plainly: hurricane season isn’t real. The so-called “season” is just an arbitrary window created by meteorological elites to justify their bloated radar budgets and keep the Weather Channel relevant.
Think about it. Why do hurricanes only happen when they say they will? Suspicious. Real weather doesn’t follow schedules. Tornadoes don’t clock in and out like they’re working one of those union “jobs”. But somehow hurricanes all conveniently “form” during the same five-month stretch? That’s not nature, that’s narrative.
I checked NOAA’s hurricane forecast and guess what? They’re always “above average.” Every year. If everything is “above average,” then your average is just a lie. That’s basic math. Wake up!
And have you ever seen a hurricane? Not on TV. Not on “satellite images” (which are just more made up computer pictures). I mean with your own eyes. You haven’t. You were told to evacuate. They told you to leave. So you leave, and when you come back, they say, “Oh, it hit. It was devastating.” And your shed is gone. Just the shed. Not the house. Not the mailbox. The shed. Interesting.
And why is it always Florida? Why is it always Louisiana? Is it because those are coastal areas? Or is it because they’re close to the weather machine off the coast of Cuba? Don’t roll your eyes. There’s a patent. Google “ionospheric heater” and open your third eye.
And how is a swirling mass of clouds over the ocean “tracking” toward land like a guided missile unless it’s being guided? These hurricanes have suspiciously good aim for things that are “random”.
You don’t need sandbags. You need answers.
You don’t need FEMA. You need freedom.
Too close to a real response for me to upvote in good conscience. 😩
Had to check I wasn't somehow subscribed to conspiracy community.
That's some advanced fuckin sarcasm right there
I was halfway in the second paragraph before I realised.
I don't know if that says something about me, or something about the world as it stands...
This has to be the most indepth copy-pasta I've seen lately. Well done.
I didn’t copy nothin!
But thanks :)
but we will
Freshly boiled pasta is the best kind.
I boil mine straight in my morning coffee
What's it from? Because Poe's Law…
Dude said it's original.
I'm going to rule 34 the fuck out of this original material.
Indeed I have.
Hurricanes, nor'easters, the occasional derecho... a few tornados have been too close for comfort but nothing I could see. Have heard the freight train sound though.
Personally I blame those weird domes made of triangles. They're definitely causing the weather. cocks shotgun
Tornado sirens? Time to open your front door, step outside, and stare up at the storm
Eh, unless the sky is green, you're probably fine.
Doesn't really stop anyone in my experience.
Wow, that is well done.
I'm uncomfortable with how dependent I've become on the /s. It took a deep dive in the comment history to know if this needed one. Wow.
yeah cause the / is the laser and rationality is the s in that letterpicture
10/10 as an actual Floridian. Those storms I lived through were made by Godzillas from the FPL reactor on Hutchinson Island.
Wait, I thought the Democrats were sending the hurricanes? I've shot at quite a few of them from my deck, and the way they avoid my bullets seems to be a weaselly Democratic trait that I'm sure they've built into these hurricanes.
Of course, that's the only weather that can be controlled precisely, because all other weather, and indeed, even climate, is a completely natural phenomenon that humans could have no effect on whatsoever.
Question, question from the Press:
If the hurricanes are caused by Jewish Space Lasers, and we fund massive amounts of Israeli military weapons development programs...
... why do we not simply ask the Israelis to point the hurricane lasers at Gaza, instead?
...
(Fucking hyper-omega level /s)
I'll tell you why, chemtrails.
Don't wanna burn them away?
All we need is a calendar and a sharpie and hurricane season can be whatever we want it to be.
And if that plan fails, we can always nuke them.
How can our hurricanes be real If our eyes aren't real
And honestly, if a hurricane even comes, just blast it with your AR like a red blooded American.
And why do these "hurricanes" always avoid crossing the equater, as if they're somehow innately aware of the one word I can't spell?
Equator more like equitt your gotdamnt lies Mr Obama Hussein Soros.
Your username makes this perfect. Great job, a perfect 5/7.