this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 38 comments
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[–] ininewcrow 59 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Bow before your new king!!!! For I have received Excalibur from the lady of the ~~lake~~ box!!!!

[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well I didn't vote for you.

[–] ininewcrow 43 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well how do you become king then?

[–] ininewcrow 41 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The Lady of the Swordbox, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the box signifying by Divine Providence that I, Ininewcrow, was to carry Excalibur!

That is why I am your king!

[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Bottom rack retail workers distributing replica weaponry is hardly a good basis for a system of government

[–] ininewcrow 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some ~~watery~~ ren fair tart threw a sword at you!

[–] ininewcrow 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

(gets grabbed by store security)

Ah now we see the violence in the system.

COME SEE THE VIOLENCE IN THE SYSTEM!

HELP! HELP! I'M BEING REPRESSED!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"How'd you know he was a Karen?"

"'E ain't got shit all over 'im."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL!?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

If I was to say that I'm the emperor because some underpaid and overworked employee lobbed a foam claymore at me, they'd put me away!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

You clearly haven't heard of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I'm so fucked bruh I can't even imagine king Arthur as a man anymore

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"By th power...."

"Get the hell out of here! Can't you read?!"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HAAAAAAVE THE POWEEEEEEEEER!!!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

"Sword of Omens, give me sight beyond sight"

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (2 children)

How about: "By the power of Grayskull…"?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Only if the sword will actually transform you into He-Man.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well, mine only transforms me into She-Gal. I hope the shop owners won't frown on that.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

There's already a She-Ra, ya know...

[–] ininewcrow 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

If you took some LSD beforehand ..... for the user they did actually transform into He-man ..... or a hippopotamus .... whatever .... they still get the sword. .... alright Man-at-arms! Let's roll!!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I will also accept:

"Thunder... Thunder. Thunder! ThunderCats!!! Hooooooooooooooooo!"

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh there's a question... if you do a good Freddie Mercury impersonation can you pull out a sword? I would say yes.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

If you shout "I have inside me blood of Kings!" is a store worker required to shout "Yeah!" back?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It says "there can only be one" but there are in fact many swords to do this with.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

You can reduce the numbers faster if you don't need to keep taking the time to clean and sharpen.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

There can be only two!

Wait, I screwed up. Can I get a Mulligan?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Form Blazing Sword!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

demoknight tf2 moment.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Was that a reference to a highlander show?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago