So, I gather what you're encountering is communities that are tossing out posts and comments that do not break any laws, on the basis that they find them distasteful. And you're looking for an instance where communities will not do this, but that is also federated with all of the instances hosting the communities that are doing this.
But to what end? If you are still trying to interface with those communities, the posts will still be removed. Being on a "free speech instance" doesn't insulate you from the rules of the communities you are engaging with. There's only an issue if you're finding yourself under pressure to change your own behaviour under threat of the admins banning you from the site.
You're looking for a space where you will feel welcome, but where one of the key defining elements is making it easy to ignore that local space.
I'm not sure you're presenting a coherent desire here.