this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2025
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The Onion

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Trump, who won reelection in November 2024 partly by claiming he could end the Ukraine war in one day, spent his first month in office posting cryptic messages on Truth Social about how the “deep state” was preventing him from implementing his genius plan. Now, with pressure mounting, he has finally delivered on his promise – by offering to surrender on Ukraine’s behalf.

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[–] [email protected] 133 points 4 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

Trump will fight tooth and nail against the ruzzians.....

[–] [email protected] 70 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I thought The Onion was supposed to be satire...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago

It's Satyr.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I believe his tactic is:

  1. ”Negotiate” a deal with Russia without Ukraine
  2. Present the deal to Ukraine
  3. Ukraine declines the deal because it mostly favors Russia while Ukraine gets nothing
  4. Accuse Ukraine for being warmongers who refuse to end the war
  5. Stop the aid to Ukraine because ”he doesn’t want to support warmongers”
[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago

I think he is looking for an excuse to lift sanctions on Russia.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 days ago

I fear you will be proved right.

[–] hellfire103 40 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 34 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

It's getting harder and harder to tell Onion stories from reality.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

You know what would be really spooky?
If Vance came back from Munich with an agreement to settle the Ukrainian question with Putin and declared peace for our time...

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 days ago

I'm sorry. You posted this in the wrong community. THIS one is supposed to be satire.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This is why Russia bought the presidency, right? I really don't get why people are still pretending this is news.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

...he's been a known russian asset for decades, openly broadcasting it to the world for at least nine years, and a plurality of the electorate are totally fine with that...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

As part of the deal, Kyiv has been renamed “Trump City, Russia” in what Trump called a “tremendous concession on the part of Vladimir Putin and the people of Russia.”

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

In addition, it has been reported that Trump ordered the construction of a tower in his name: "It's going to be the biggest tower in ~~Ukraine~~ Trump City, maybe ever. Nobody builds towers bigger than me!"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

No surprise there.

[–] TheGoddessAnoia 5 points 4 days ago (3 children)

I wonder if he thinks he can also ignore basic contract law on the international scale? Or is he maybe planning to send US troops to assist the Russians when the Ukrainians refuse to recognise his genius.

[–] HungryJerboa 3 points 3 days ago

This is how the orange man will stave off WW3, by uniting American and Russian troops against a common enemy!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I'm sure he's prepared to promise anything to make his deal come through, but abandon those promises immediately afterwards.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

That's how promises work, in his mind

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

"When religion and politics travel in the same cart the riders believe themselves to be unstoppable"