No Stupid Questions

Honestly, if you're in the US especially, mutual aid might at least be interesting. You can try Food Not Bombs or MADR or a regional/local org.

There's pscilocybin or MDMA for a break from the shitshow or even a guiding light.

Therapy is kind of difficult since it's expensive and you need to sift through multiple therapists to find one that clicks with you. It's the most likely thing to benefit you as long as you find the right one. Maybe antidepressants will help?

At the end of the day you have to choose something to do for meaning. Change is going to take months or years. Silver bullets are the rare exception.

I have no suggestions for you, but I at least wanted to let you know that you’re not alone in this world. I hope you find whatever you are looking for.

These are classic signs of major depression.

There are some decent comments here overall with stuff I bet would help you. But it sounds to me like you have lost the appreciation and rewards from life and the world around you. I would wonder if you have undiagnosed anxiety.

This isn't going to sound great probably, but the problem isn't the world around you, it's just you. The good news, 'you' is the only part of this you can fix. The rest, totally outside of your control.

You need to retrain your brain. Slow down to appreciate the smaller things. Even the tiniest things. Read up on the raisin technique. I think raisins are kind of dumb, but apply it to everyday things. Go slow. Examine. Savor. Eat slowly. And with each bite think of the process that got that very thing into your mouth. From growing the ingredients, raising, milking, whatever. The process and storage, maybe inspection, transporting it to the store, you buying it and cooking it. The skill it took to do that and the history of you cooking to get there. It's an awful lot packed into each bite. Do that with as many bites as you can. Be mindful. Repeat it. You don't need a different thought every time. Just keep thinking it through. And apply that to more things throughout your day as you're able to. It's not an overnight process but it's much faster than you might think to regain the value, passion for things. Do this people as well. Forgo the NPC thoughts, and delve in. How they got to be who they are. Ask questions over time and build a mental roadmap.

That's pretty much it. I could have easily written your post word for word a decade ago. With therapy and general learning, fighting anhedonia was a process. And still is. But I do appreciate things and I look forward to things. I often look forward the most to me not being me tomorrow but a slightly better version of me.

I'm like an atheist monk.

you might be having SzPD. I'm not saying that but you might think about it.

I don't want to travel because it costs money.

I don't spend much money on clothing or media and save most of my paycheck.

then why don't you use some of those to travel? There are ways to travel less expensively. I had a phase like this when I was a college kid and I saved up the small scholarship (much less than an actual job) and travelled, which did something that depression meds couldn't do then. ymmv though.

Edit: most important part. Yes, there is a way. I am in no position to claim to know what is going to help you, but I do know this: there is another way to live. Following is what I have tried and it worked

Been around there, it really is not a good place. Time to look inside. You only have so much time left to live, and only so much energy to do things. As to what can be done, then if possible, take a good break: quit job, buy food, then just stay home. No books, no TV, no speaking to anyone, no internet, no games, no nothing. Your mind will go wild for some time, but then you will recover and see life with more clarity

And for the big picture - look inside. If you were to die today, what would you do? Whom would you speak to one last time? Where would you go if distance was not an issue? What do you want to be done with your dead body? (If the answer is "nothing, I don't care", I would strongly suggest go see a doctor. Depression does not just go away)

Also, remember this every day: tomorrow morning, you may not wake up. Today you woke up, but a day will come when you don't. Remind this to yourself. Slowly this will change your perspective

If you happen to feel like talking - message or ping me, I will answer as fast as I can

Anti-depressants might help.

Get a pet, you need a distraction and to look outwards a little bit perhaps. Mine give me a point since I enjoy their antics and need to be around to sustain them

Only do this if you're going to be responsible tho. There's enough deadbeats with pets that shouldn't be trusted with an egg-timer let alone a moving, breathing, lifeform

Therapy.

You’re going to get a lot of advise about what makes life worth living, but it sounds like you have low level depression. Talking to a therapist and looking at an antidepressant are your first steps, along with the other things that can help with low level depression.

Life has no point, you’re just energy given form (literally, not metaphorically or superstitiously or some shit, mass and energy are the same thing)

Hedonism is easy to fall into, and arguably fine, if you don't find life worth living but can't muster the enthusiasm to end it, you should try to change your environment.

For me, life is worth living for stories, I love books and the experience of being something different for a time. I have built my life around lazy evenings on the sofa with my cat on my lap reading a book, or playing a comfortable game, nothing else matters to me at all. It's easy to be content if your requirements are minimal.

Life is an odd phenomenon, we're blessed or cursed with consciousness, may as well do something you enjoy. If you don't know what you enjoy then try more stuff.

I sometimes feel this as well. Without my family, my hobbies, my job, and my vices I’m totally empty, and I do have a religion.

Bill dropped his keys on the counter and stood there staring at them, suddenly thinking about all the times he’d thrown his keys there before, and how many days of his life were wasted repeating the same tasks and and rituals in his apartment over and over again. But then he wondered if realistically this was his life and the unusual part was his time spent doing other things.

Okay. Hear me out.

Minecraft and cough syrup.

In your position I'd be donating some of that money that's otherwise sitting around doing nothing. But then again, I avoid tv and streaming shows like the plague and have actual niche interests that inspire me. I see people struggling, feel a fundamental urge to help them, and sometimes DO when I can afford it... And that shit is like a DRUG to me. Generosity feels fucking amazing @_@ oxytocin, adrenaline, serotonin, dopamine, it's ALL there!

so you lack enthusiasm and ideas huh

you need to find a spark, something that drives you and makes lost in the moment

explore your likes, interests, values. Go from there. I know you said you don't care, but your lack of care and enthusiasm is your current jailor so perhaps start working on the keys

I feel you, I get like this sometimes as well, it's what we call "getting in a rut". When I become self-aware of the situation, I just treat myself to something, could be a new keyboard, or PC part, or maybe it's just going out with friends for a few drinks.

This tends to at least put me on the path to climbing my way back out of it

Gym, Meditate, Therapy, Volunteer, Meetup, Hobbies. Any combination of these, at least 2.

Accumulating money doesn't count as character building nor living. Spend money wisely, but do spend it. Wisely is subjective, but see above for what I think that means in this context. Good luck.

Edit: wording.

Sounds like you are dealing with an existential issue. Personally I've dealt with this by learning and teaching others, through this I feel I have found purpose. I also find it through political activism and volunteer work. There is nothing as fulfilling as helping others just because you want to and can.

Books, podcasts, niche youtubers, video games. Jusy keep trying different subjects until you find something that interests you. Learning is usually a draw for a lot of people. You could also try volunteering in some way. Maybe that will be more fulfilling.

Is there anything that you would like to do, any bucket list items etc?

So you‘re boring, arrogant and not interested in anything. Gotcha. Still enough to do for somebody like you, no worries:

Okay, you do like cooking. If that’s something you enjoy you might want to improve it. Watch some cooking videos on YouTube. Read some books about it. Experiment a bit. Bring some of it to work for your colleagues that aren’t total morons. No sweat, no pressure, just have a bit of fun.

Okay, so you do sport in your freetime. Good. Maybe set goal for something. If you are into running you could train for a marathon or just for a random sportsevent in your area.

What music do you listening to? Are there concerts of bands you like nearby? Or a bit farther away, giving opportunity for a nice weekend trip? You don’t have to stand right in the middle, you know. Just jam to the music where’s a bit more space around you.

Get a pen and a notebook and write what comes to your mind. Honestly, I can’t stress enough how important that is. Go. Write. Old style analogue. Bring order to your thoughts. Or the opposite, just vomit them on page. As long as you write.

Buy a motorcycle and drive around. With aim or without.

Learn to mix cocktails and or get into whiskeys.

Learn to build a pc and buy the new monster hunter or just some other game you like.

Learn bushcrafting and to wildcamp and sleep in a hammock beneath a tarp in the mountains / down by the river / at the local park.

I wouldn’t recommend it it to somebody else, but: Pay prostitutes for sex. You have money and that’s the most effortless way for sex that requires the least human interaction. No clubbing, no flirting, no dating. Perfect for you.

Visit lost places. Climb on cell towers or building cranes at night and enjoy the view. Go for a night swim. Go rooftopping.

Set a goal to do something crazy every day. Or something kind. Or both.

I would recommend travelling, but I think you’d be still bored and uninterested just at a different place. However I think it can be Eye opening to see how people live somewhere else.

That’s pretty much it. Good luck.

Edit: alternatively post comments with your pr0n alt-account. Live dangerously.

If we end capitalism then human life has intrinsic value again instead of a sticker price