this post was submitted on 08 May 2025
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[–] pticrix 67 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I don't care for Christianity, but god I'd love it to see a black pope emerge, just to see the White Power writhes and scream.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Those white power redneck types are all protestants (baptists, or some other evangelical wingnut strain) and most of them have a vehement anti-Catholic streak. A black pope would just confirm to them whatever-the-hell conspiracy shit they already believe about the Catholic church, so it'd more or less just be spitting on a forest fire anyways.

Not that the Vatican shouldn't do it anyway, though.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

I'd say most of them are protestants, but there's been a trend of a certain type of far-right "RETVRN TO TRADITION" wingnuts converting and becoming hardline tradcaths in the last decade or so. Those people absolutely would seethe over a black pope.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

I loved the twist ending in Conclave.

Please, do not reply with spoilers.

EDIT: I did this to myself.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] jerkface 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Even bigger spoiler: he gets better.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

If someone drops into St. Peter's Square with a parachute, I win $3,000.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Nazis and KKK members already hate Catholics.

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (7 children)

I just learned that there is a Cardinal Pizzaballa from Italy that is on the short list of expected potential popes. On name alone, I hope he wins. I know he won't be called Pope Pizzaballa, but in my heart that is what he'd be known as, spoken in the most Super Mario type accent imaginable

Edit: Sorry, not sorry, I couldn't help myself, you who are now perusing this thread have to see it as well

[–] grte 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

As far as I'm aware there is no rule he can't pick his own name as his pope name, should he want to be cool.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

They love their ancient traditions, some of which significantly predate Christianity.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Should have photoshopped on the hat

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I really wanted to but I'm on mobile.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Same

Edit: I became the change I wanted to see in the world

I became the change I wanted to see in the world

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

But you do have to pronounce it in Italian so it’ll probably be Papa Pizzaballahs.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Is that an official campaign poster?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

In Italian or Latin, it would be “Papa Pizzaballa”.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I legitimately thought they were joking when they mentioned the name on TV just now.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I know its pronounced Pizzaballa, but in my head it’s Pizza (techno air horns) BAWWWWWLAH!

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

This is going to be a tough conversation when they call. The farm takes up most of my day and at night I like a cup of tea, I might not be able to devote myself full time to being Pope.

Edit: that was easier than I thought it would be. They called and I told them straight up I didn't have time to be pope. They said they figured I would turn them down so they had a guy from Chicago as a back up.

[–] floofloof 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I hope to be co-Pope to help the Pope cope.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If they pick a dope, you’ll need to help the dope pope cope as a co-pope.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I’d offer help to cope but I’m at the end of my rope.

[–] floofloof 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

So is the end of your rope a nope to the co-co-dope cope pope hope?

[–] pticrix 3 points 1 month ago

Myope co-pope use scope and spot new pope mope, cope with dope, and elope.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah! The world's largest cult has a new guru!

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago (3 children)

The world's largest religious denomination is Sunni Islam with 22.39% of the world's population (as of 2020). Catholic Christianity comes in a distant second with 15.88%.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_denomination

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Too many cults to keep track of, they are all brainrot

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Sunni day, pushin’ the clouds away…. o/~

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Who's their leader?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (4 children)

What tariffs will Trump declare when he finds out it's not him??

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Trump taxing the Church? That's a funny thought.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

100% tariff on indulgences.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

“I declare a 100% tariff on all absolutions coming from the Vatican…”

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Doesn't even need tariffs. Could just take away their tax exemption.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Is this like Publisher's Clearing House? Will people show up at my door with balloons and big novelty hat to tell me I won?

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[–] Lemmyoutofhere 6 points 1 month ago

A new head pedofile has been chosen.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

That seems relatively fast but I honestly can't be assed to research Catholic bureaucratic history.

[–] jerkface 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
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