It just exists. It's not its fault it distorts spacetime around it until it becomes one of those coin donation funnels at the mall.

Since spacetime is compressing to a single point, is it really "falling", or just being zipdrived?

There would likely be some extreme vortexes especially in the accretion disk. The pressure differences would absolutely create a suction effect.

It's all probably as negligible as legs on a cow to astrophysicists but I would reckon on its own (without the umpteen solar masses of gravity distorting your results), at human scale I would estimate that it "fucking sucks".

Pure speculation on my part.

Temperature is movement. So, yes

Thermodynamics

If your body temp is any negative number of Kelvin, your existence is theoretical at best, potentially moving backwards through time, or instantly causing a chain reaction that would obliterate the fabric of reality, at worst.

Negative temperatures are actually hotter than all positive temperatures, you're experiencing population inversion

In that case, ypi would be the coolest of all

Same

Technically it is wrong, since there is no flow of matter in to the black hole due to pressure difference going on, i.e. sucking.

Not correct. There is no vacuum. Just falling.