this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2025
243 points (94.5% liked)

Not The Onion

16830 readers
2611 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 hours ago

That's some smooth manipulation right there. He just complained that he should have won it and they slyly nominated him. Expect lots of great favors for Pakistan going forward.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 13 hours ago

Norwegian here. I can still hear the gasping from the laughter of the nobel committee in Oslo. And I'm on vacation abroad.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Nobel committee knows that if they pick him, it would tarnish the prize.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (4 children)

Is it still a respected thing? I was under the impression it's not Obama didn't do anything except be elected and he was nominated. Can't remember if he won it though but that seems like pretty weak criteria to be nominated.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

Obama did win, and it was for his commitments to green energy and climate change. It's widely considered bad to award people before they follow through to the end, especially for the nobel committee. I think they were trying to use it as further motivation to keep those commitments, but if anything it's usually the opposite.. at least when they give them to sociopath politicians. Could definitely be worse than Obama though.

Edit: Reading more on it, it looks like it was also for nuclear non-proliferation. I guess both are pretty valid awards for Obama, even if he could have done far more, especially in his first two years.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 hours ago

Kissinger won after setting a bunch of infants on fire. Obama winning for nothing wasn't the worst by a long shot.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 hours ago

He won for not being Bush.

That's how terrible Bush was.

And Trump is even worse.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

He was awarded and did a lot of un-peaceful things later on

[–] [email protected] 2 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Not peaceful at all. I really think it's a bullshit award these days. Constant drone striking, basic bitch democrat Obama is the best this country can do? Maybe but I hope not

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

Always has been 🏆🔫

[–] Archangel1313 61 points 21 hours ago (3 children)

Pakistan is playing some 5-D chess, here. Butter up the raging narcissist by flattering his ego, in the hopes that he backs down on Iran or risks losing his Nobel prize nomination.

Smart. He actually might fall for it.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 20 hours ago

Foreign countries know exactly what they're doing this time around when it comes to manipulating Trump. I think last time they were surprised just how easy and stupid it was and now Saudia Arabia is just like "yeah throw some McDonald's paint on a trailer and give him a happy meal, he'll sign whatever we want".

The dude is a very very stupid child.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 20 hours ago (4 children)

He already caused Israel attacking Iran in the first place:

  1. Ripping up the existing nuclear deal with Iran. Giving Israel the excuse.
  2. Emboldening Israel with cruel rhetoric against Palestinians himself. Allowing them to commit genocide freely.
  3. Finally giving them a "yellow light" for the attack.

So he definitely does not deserve the nomination, but yeah, maybe he can be manipulated into backing off.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 17 hours ago

It’s literally his MO either through incompetence or hubris, he consistently plants landlines for both himself and others:

  • Crash out of the JCPOA despite Iranian compliance and the EU trying to maintain the deal without the US, setting the stage for the current crisis
  • Completely disregard the Palestinian question in the Abraham Accords, signaling to Hamas(/Iran) that the window is closing and soon the whole Gulf will be onboard with permanent Israeli domination of Palestine
  • Give the Taliban whatever they want in the Doha Accords, but in a timeline that forces it to be the next President’s problem
  • Publicly declare he’ll solve Ukraine-Russia in 100 days… signaling the limits of his patience, and that Putin only needs to delay, delay, delay
  • “I’ll make a decision in two weeks on Iran”
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 20 hours ago

Totally, this is how you play Trump if you don't have a handwritten letter from your king

[–] [email protected] 16 points 17 hours ago

As as to be said somehow literally every time these headlines are published, nominations for any Nobel prize are kept secret and announcing that you've submitted a nomination if anything makes them less likely to be accepted as it harms the nomination by harming the image of the nominator. Anyone can say they've nominated anyone for a Nobel Peace Prize and they can't be proven or disproven for 50 years.

Oh and "Pakistan" can't nominate anyone for a Nobel Prize. All you need to be a nominator for the Nobel Peace Prize is to be an elected official or a university professor, but you do have to be a person. The likely of a headline not bothering to distinguish between a person and their 250 million people nation seems to increase linearly with distance east from the Greenwich meridian.

https://www.nobelprize.org/nomination/questions-and-answers-about-the-nomination-process-for-a-nobel-peace-prize/

Please remember this when that Norwegian 'scientist' nominations Trump or Elon or whoever in October like he does every year.

[–] [email protected] 96 points 23 hours ago (4 children)

This is the worse timeline ever

[–] [email protected] 30 points 23 hours ago (4 children)

I am desperately trying to find the portal out of here

[–] [email protected] 8 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Good luck. After sharing the secret, they removed all the payphones.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 20 hours ago

They cut the hardline! Find the schematics of this building. I need the main wet wall.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 18 hours ago

After all the news in the last couple of weeks how it might be very likely that our universe is inside a black hole, good luck!

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I really dislike that so many people in this timeline don't know or can't see the difference between worse and worst.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Nominations don't really mean anything.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (3 children)

The subtext behind Pakistan doing it, and doing it now, is to try and bait Trump away from getting involved with Pakistan's ally: Iran.

If Trump does anything to Iran, Pakistan is going to make a big fuss about doubling-back on their nomination.

Does the nomination mean anything? No. Is he going to get the award? No. It's entirely a diplomatic maneuver for a very specific goal of keeping the US out of Iran.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 21 hours ago

Not sure if worst, but quite likely the stupidest. I'm no genius myself, but the amount of utter (and aggressive!) stupidity that surrounds us is so exhausting...

[–] tiberius 35 points 21 hours ago (3 children)

“They’re dying, Russians and Ukrainians. I want them to stop dying. And I’ll have that done — I’ll have that done in 24 hours.” -Trump, May 2023

When a leader in any capacity promises something, you expect them to deliver.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

"They're eating the dogs! They're eating the cats! They're eating the pets"

47th President of the United States

[–] tiberius 2 points 18 hours ago

Makes for a good song. The Kiffness - Eating the Cats ft. Donald Trump (Debate Remix) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BrCvZmSnKA

[–] [email protected] 5 points 19 hours ago

When a leader in any capacity promises something, you expect them to deliver.

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Good one.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 20 hours ago

Isn't the count of Russian casualties over a million or something, now?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I sincerely hope once this fucker keels over we never have to hear from him again.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I think this to myself sometimes too but then I realize some other shit stain will take his place.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] sndmn 12 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I'd like to nominate him for 20 years in prison.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 20 hours ago

I vote firing squad

[–] [email protected] 16 points 22 hours ago

I nominate him from the biggest diaper filler.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 22 hours ago

They've got that ass-kissing down now, don't they!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 21 hours ago
[–] phoenixz 5 points 21 hours ago (7 children)

The Nobel Peace prize really is the turd of all medals

[–] [email protected] 4 points 18 hours ago

Reminds me of the quote Political Satire became obsolete when Kissinger was awarded the Peace Prize. But over the years, there have seriously been multiple controversial candidates who got the prize.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 19 hours ago

Trump helped secure Pakistan-India ceasefire last month, preventing a broader conflict between the two nuclear

No he didnt, India has already said it was talks between India and Pakistan and Trump had zero to do with it.

load more comments
view more: next ›