Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Mean-Proposal8 on 2024-01-19 09:05:19+00:00.

So yesterday, me (28F), Jess (27F) and 3 other friends (mid to late 20sF) went to a Chinese restaurant. I’m Chinese, Jess is half Japanese/Chinese and the rest of my friendship group are Asian, if that’s relevant.

For context, Jess unfortunately was victim to a verbal racist attack when covid first started. It was such an awful thing to happen and I’m still mad it happened. The incident traumatised her quite badly and she went to therapy for a couple of years.

We are getting seated and there is a Caucasian man with his son (maybe 6-8 years old). They smile at me and I smile back. Anyway, our food comes and the kid is curious and I can hear him asking his dad “what are those ladies eating?”.

The dad happily explains to his son the different kinds of seafood (like pipis), and pork belly and noodle dishes we were eating. It was really clear that they weren’t making fun of the food or us, and honestly I thought it was cute that the kid was interested. But Jess started getting agitated. I asked her what was up and she said she didn’t like that they were talking about us. Me and my friend tried to just say they were just talking about the food we were eating. Unexpectedly (as Jess is quite shy), she stood up and said to the dad, “this isn’t a zoo, you know?”. Then she walked out and some of us followed her out and me and another friend apologised to the man and kid who were really shocked.

Outside m, we were trying to console Jess. She was adamant that the man was teaching his kid to be racist but we were all trying to tell her it wasn’t like that, and she said we were invalidating her. This went back and forth with us trying to say that the man and kid weren’t being racist. Finally, in my effort to try help, I suggested maybe Jess should go back to therapy.

Jess gave me a really dirty look, called me a shit friend and left. A couple of my friends, although acknowledging that the way Jess reacted to the man and kid was abnormal, told me it wasn’t my place to suggest that, but my other friend said that I wasn’t wrong and as her friend who cares about her well-being, I had a right to suggest that.

Jess and I have been friends since high school and I spent a great deal of time supporting her after the racist incident.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/MinuteAny1558 on 2024-01-19 06:57:51+00:00.

I had my 13 year old son as a teenager. His dad was my cousin’s boyfriend and I admit I was a bitch for doing that. I got my karma because he’s a deadbeat and I got no help from my parents as punishment for betraying family. Whatever, we lived and I learned.

I get the hostility towards me but I’m tired of them trying to force my own son to hate me. They didn’t want shit to do with him when he was a baby but now that he technically doesn’t “need” me they’re trying to tell him that he doesn’t have a dad because of me or that I’ll never be enough to advance his athletic career and am therefore ruining his life. Shit like that. I’ve begged them to stop but they say that they’re simply telling him the truth and it’s up to him to decide if he wants anything to do with me and that it’s the consequences of my actions.

I get it. I really fucking do. But this is insanity. I tried to limit contact between them even though my parents threatened to stop helping me pay for his sports. Sure it meant more work for me but it’s nothing I can’t handle.

Anyways, turns out my attempts were in vain because my son was still seeing them behind my back and I only found out because my son started crying to me because of all the stress that had been building up. He was only still meeting them because my dad promised he’d buy him high quality sports gear so long as he wouldn’t abandon his grandparents.

I was furious so after I put him to sleep I stormed over to my parents house and I admit I lost it a little. I took the high quality sports gear and threw it at them before telling them that they don’t get to hold a decade long mistake over my head. My mom just said I ruined her relationship with her family and that the consequences I’m facing are nothing compared to the things she had to deal with thanks to me. She kept going on about consequences while my dad told me to “expect harsh consequences” from my son for taking his sports equipment. He also said something about choosing my pride over my son’s dream. I snapped and told them that I don’t give a fuck about the consequences, that the word has lost all meaning and they all just sound like idiots to me.

My parents got extremely angry and said that my attitude is doing me no favours and there’s a reason no one is on my side and no one is willing to forgive or trust me. They then kicked me out of the house and now my older sister won’t stop calling me just to yell at me for not learning shit the past 13 years and continuing to disrespect family, especially my parents. I’m just exhausted and I need to know (at least temporarily) if I’m the bad guy here, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/LocomotiveEngineseer on 2024-01-19 07:55:28+00:00.

PCOS is "Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome" and it results in various estrogen-deficiency symptoms, like excessive hair growth in certain areas. My wife's is pretty mild, with just a little extra hair around her butt, and occasionally, her chin. I can easily deal with that, she grooms everything but the most sensitive places, and she's beautiful to boot. Classically beautiful enough that I want to paint her face on the nose of an airplane, 40's style. I have a lot of other reasons to love her, but I don't want to go off-topic.

Here's the deal, though. Just the other day, she told me she wanted to have sex out of the blue. No problem, there, I can get into the mood pretty fast. BUT RIGHT AFTER THAT, she decided to describe how she has an extra long hair on her nipple. The ones she wants me to put in my mouth during sex all the time. I told her that I can convince my mind to ignore that if I try, but there is no convincing my penis when she straight TELLS me that she has a long nipple hair. Hairy nipples are things men have, and I have a biological aversion to men because I am not gay.

I think I've done a pretty decent job of ignoring the PCOS stuff in favor of loving her for who she is, but she is just NOT getting over this temporary rejection of her sex. I understand, as much as I can. She's a woman, she wants to feel like she's always beautiful to me, always valued, and ideally, also beautiful in general. I also know she intended to test me a bit, because women have all kinds of ways to make men prove that they are faithful, manly, and also able to be manipulated a bit so we do what they want, but never too much, because that would indicate weakness.

We talked about it, I explained all of this to her and more, but she says she thinks I am the asshole for my penis not responding, and me continuing to think about her hairy nips which she refuses to trim now. Then she insisted I bring this to public trial, because she insist there is something wrong with me, or she just wants to have fun. Could be either.

So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/anime1me on 2024-01-19 05:09:01+00:00.

My brother (13M) has blocked me (16M) on Pinterest. For some context, I am avid Pinterest user. When my younger brother sent me a meme on Discord, i asked him where he found it. When he told me Pinterest, i called him gay but really i was happy that he was taking after me. We’re orphans so I’m kind of like a father to him. So obviously I wanted to see his meme boards and also his fashion boards, since we love talking about fashion together. Unfortunately he didn’t want to share his account with me. He’s going through an edgy tween phase, so he doesn’t like opening up to me about some things, tho I am trying to establish a better relationship with him where we can depend on each other. One day, he AirDropped a Pinterest link to me, and apparently that shows his profile. Also his display name is “Jon” as in Jon from garfield… So i checked out his profile, and I could only see a couple posts, but I was having a good chortle. But when I told him I found his profile, he blocked me :। Am I the meanie..?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Throwawaychild628 on 2024-01-19 02:28:42+00:00.

I'm (53f) have threee children but this situation is just about my youngest (16f) who we will call Junie.

For backstory Junie has an issues ... with silk clothing, she will taking any of Sasha's and I silk pajamas and night robes for herself not wear( although she does wear her favorite one I'll elaborate on that one later) but touch and rub her face against while sucking her tongue even going going as far a making purring like sounds sometimes. Even though I helped her make a blanket so she will let the others go but she refuses

Her favorite one is my old striped blue and white victoria's secret robe which she held on to since she was young after I got rid of her baby blankets despite my attempts to hide it. So I let that one go.

Back to the reason why I'm here, what happen was that Junie has been on thin ice with me lately about her report card due the fact she doesnt do the work when she comes home. Always in her room (she calls it her Den of solitude or Nest) on her phone or watching tv or sleeping.

As punishment I took away her phone and tv remote. As well as her silks she fills her bed with in order to get her to do her homework and out of her bed and get her to be productive like the things she used to do all the time like painting/drawing or writing.

When I tell you that Junie was in hysterics I mean it. She was screaming and crying, begging to at least give her 1 or 2 items to hold on to.Trying to grab things from me. Hardly caring about her in which is at least 5 feet from her if not in her hand.

After everything she has being sulking. Sleeping as soon as she comes home. When she's awake she is in a daze and when shaken she would look distressed and start looking around for her stuff then sag when she remembered it was taken

I'm truly starting to get concerned watching my daughter. So I'm here asking for judgment on this am I the asshole.

Edit: Since many thinks this is fake .And the last post was a mess rant last time was a fight between my daughters in which my eldest tried to toss Junie's silk to get back at her. This is a situation is between me and Junie

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/sleepingmushroomcat on 2024-01-19 00:33:58+00:00.

We have an 8 week old baby boy, he occasionally turns purple and holds his breath when he cries. I’m currently staying at home taking care of the baby, when he cries for milk I try my best make a bottle as quickly as possible so that he doesn’t do that whole turning purple thing.

When my husband is home from work, he takes maybe 2 to 3 feeds. What I cannot stand is that he takes his own sweet time making a bottle. When the baby gets hungry, I’ll be trying to soothe the baby and telling him to go make a bottle. He will continue standing there trying to have a conversation with me. Then I will have to yell at him to go make a bottle.

When he finally makes a bottle, I’ll hand the baby to him to be fed. He will have the baby propped up on his leg while he chooses a show to watch on the ipad, meanwhile the baby is screaming his head off. I don’t understand why he keeps prioritising his own needs before a hungry crying baby!!

I previously brought it up to him and he said that the baby can wait. That the extra 30 seconds is not gonna make a difference.

I called him a shit parent last night half jokingly when I saw him with the baby and the ipad. This time round he popped the bottle into baby’s mouth first before choosing a show on the ipad. He did seem upset by what I said but didn’t say anything.

AITA for calling him a shit parent?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Remarkable-Care-2619 on 2024-01-18 21:59:07+00:00.

1, 26F, just got married to the love of my life, 32M, in december. He proposed in summer 2022 but we decided to hold off on the wedding due to some personal reasons. I have never gotten along with my SIL, 25F, she is always trying to put me down and is overall not the kindest. I met my husband through her when I was 20 and she's been kind of distant since then. While her and I were friends I shared a lot about my insecurities. I used to be 300 pounds and was very insecure about it. I went on a weight loss journey but she always felt the need to compete with me but she wasn't able to lose the weight. If I worked out for an hour she had worked out for 2 or, if I chose something healthy on the menu she would laugh at me. Despite us drifting this hasn't really gone away. I have lost some weight and am at a healthy weight now. It's important to note I only lost weight for health reasons and not appearance reasons, despite this, I think losing weight has made men more attracted to me(not that this is important). I am now thinner than her, she is chubby but not fat like I was.

Of course she was at my wedding, she was a bridesmaid and her and I were actually getting along well and there were few issues. She was actually super supportive during the whole process. The ceremony was gorgeous and I wouldn't hesitate to call it the best day of my life. During the reception the cake came out and everyone was having it and I noticed that she wasn't. I could see her eyeing me as I ate cake. I had 2 slices and by the time I was on my second slice I could feel her eyes. I felt like she was judging me for eating cake after my weight loss. I think she is jealous because I was able to lose weight and she wasn't. I was tipsy and decided to confront her. I asked her what her problem was and why she isn't eating the cake. She seemed offended but didn't say anything. This upset me more and I lost it, I told her she thinks she's a good person when she's really not. I also accused her of being in love with my husband. She left in tears and the rest of the night was tainted from the interaction. My maid of honor texted me and told me I way overreacted and some other guests shared her sentiment. I haven't apologized but have been thinking about it since my MIL cut off me and my husband. My husband agrees she's probably in love with him and I should just leave it alone. AITA?

EDIT: I want to give more context on our friendship. When I was bigger than her she would make remarks about me being the cow of the friend group. When I started my weight loss she made fun of me for it. Now that I am thinner than her I think she’s jealous that I’m able to eat cake now.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwawayhey1234567i on 2024-01-18 21:37:31+00:00.

Throwaway acc!

My twin sister (25f) and I (25f) have been hashing it out lately and I just want to bring this to the internet to settle this. We will call her Abby.

I was recently formally diagnosed with Autism, about a year after I had been self diagnosed.

Lately, Abby has been saying that I attribute too many things about myself and my personality to being autistic, and this bothers her. She even said, "You would attribute the direction you wipe your ass in to being autistic." This statement really hurt me, so I told her.

Abby said that the statement wasn't rude, and also that it is true. I asked Abby to tell me the DSM-5 criteria for diagnosing Autism, to make sure she knew that I was attributing my actions to specific traits detailed in autism research. She couldn't give me the main traits listed.

I asked Abby for examples on which actions she thinks I shouldn't be attributing to my condition. She said she couldn't come up with any examples

I am going to list a few examples below of things I personally attribute to me being autistic:

• The lights in the kitchen are really bright and bother me.
• Sometimes, Abby sings really loudly, or our mom talks really loudly on the phone and that hurts my ears.
• I don't like to make eye contact.
• I always talk about my special interests (social justice, astronomy, biology, music, Animal Crossing).
• I click my fingers a lot and mess with my nails.
• I repeat a lot of phrases throughout the day (verbal stims).
• I have a different processing time from other people (this may have something to do with how much brain connectivity autistics could have) so it might take a little longer to emotionally process stuff.
• I have difficulty getting things done because of issues with executive functioning.
• I tend to communicate directly instead of indirectly.

That's really all I can come up with.

Overall, I just don't understand why she cares so much, enough to say something so disrespectful to me. AITA?

TLDR: My sister told me that I attribute everything to autism, including the direction I wipe myself after going to the bathroom. Am I right to be upset about how she talks about my condition?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway2011306 on 2024-01-18 21:34:48+00:00.

This is gonna be a little complicated, but Im really conflicted.

Last week I went for a walk with some of my friends at night. We wanted to clear our heads and have a nice talk together. We actively didnt invite some of our other friends since we knew they wouldnt want to come or were asleep. So we kinda just roamed around the neighborhood.

We had the idea to show up at one of our friends houses. Jokingly, I took a photo of their house number with the caption "we are gonna get you" to let them know we are here.

Normally, this friend is more on the joking side, making fun of everything, but also can be quite weird sometimes. Weird in ways of them accusing me of mental abuse and ghosting me for months after I sent them a photo of me and some others partying, even though we have been like besties the previous weeks (and they could have come along too).

To my surprise, they didnt take the joke well. Some time later, they thanked me for telling everyone where they live and making them panic. I responded way later, as the notification didnt pop up and apologized. Though I told them that 1st, everyone knew already their location because we are, like, friends, and 2nd, if they really did panic, they could have called me asking if we are serious or not.

I was kinda taken aback. I was expecting them telling us something like "get lost" in a joking manner, or waving out of the window and thats it. Not panicking about us, breaking in? Throwing stones? Staying there for the whole night? I dont know what they were expecting.

They later told me I've crossed a boundary, resulting in a sleepless night. If I had known, I would never have done that. But again, they could have called me for reassurance. Though they responded with "well I thought you were drinking" because I didnt see the notification and a friend of us asked if we were drinking, to which another one responded with "yep".

If we had been friends for about a year or so, I'd understand that they wouldnt notice the sarcasm or have issues trusting me. But we've been friends for 7+ years, some of them they were even in love with me. And I made it clear enough that I never drink, ever. Still, they had no trust in me nor our other friends, one of them also against drinking. We are normal people, living our life without partying often or causing scenes. They are supposed to know that by now, or so I thought.

So why would they not trust us and think of the worst case scenario, without asking if we are for real?

Our friendship is over because of this, and they said some really nasty things, some of them contradicting each other. They seem like a mess mentally, and had I known it was such a big deal, I would never have done that. Some of my closest friends think they are overreacting and having, again, one of their emotional bursts.

Still, I'm trying to understand their point of view. AITA?

(In the unlikely case this gets more attention, please dont repost)

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ta111276498ggg on 2024-01-18 20:03:56+00:00.

My wife told me that she had discussed developing an adult video game with an unmarried same age male co-worker. Specifically, the game is to include nudity and sex between human and/or fantasy characters; but my wife is not considering this a “porn” game. The conversation was described as “not HR friendly” as in a write up would have likely occurred if overheard/reported. But other than literally what I typed above, she cannot recall exactly what was discussed. Again, she assures me this is not “porn” and nothing else is going on or has been discussed other than the “business opportunity” related to developing this adult nude sex but not porn video game.

Editing again to make this clear - by "game" I am talking about a 3D hyper video real fantasy sex world were you create a character and then go bang other characters in ones or tens I guess. So, please read - this is NOT a game. We are talking about gamified porno here and that is very obvious. Not 8bit boobs running through a maze looking for treasure.

Edited to make mod / rule friendly. Not sure what I am doing wrong.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Some-aroace8676 on 2024-01-18 19:48:40+00:00.

Am I (16f) the asshole for eating my brothers (19m) Nutella and peanut butter and refusing to pay for it? Yesterday I heated up some Nutella form the pantry to dip some crackers in. While doing so I my brother asked what I was making from the other room I told him I was heating up Nutella. He got upset and asked if it was his, I was confused and unaware that he bought his own. My dad is the type of person who will buy things and then put them in the pantry randomly for us to have. So I assumed it’s be fine if I took some and this was after about a month or more of me starting to take form them. I will be the first to admit I do often take a lot, I had used about half of each container (what my brother said) of peanut butter and Nutella. When I told him I’m sorry I didn’t know it was his, he got more upset. He then said I’d have to pay for the peanut butter and Nutella. I then said he should label his food if he was going to put it in the pantry. I’m known for especially when I’m getting close to my period that I have a lot of chocolate. I will admit how I said it wasn’t the nicest of tone but I was upset that he was yelling at me. I also don’t have a job and have not a lot of money. I have about 50$ of my own physical money. I haven’t told my parents yet that this happened. Should I tell them? Was I the asshole? I’m just looking for some help with how to deal with this situation.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fearless_Force6815 on 2024-01-18 18:59:44+00:00.

I (M26) have a side job as a model for about 3 years now. I usually do some photoshoots for smaller fashion labels, Iʼm not in magazines or on billboards, my photoshoots just get posted on their social media accounts or their websites, so itʼs not really a big deal. I met my girlfriend Cassie (F25) through a mutual friend, weʼve been dating for almost a year now and weʼre planning to move in together.

Cassie really likes the fact that I have a side job as a model, itʼs always one of the first things she mentions when we meet someone new. She also does it whenever weʼre hanging out with our friends. She often gushes about how handsome and tall I am and jokes that she feels sorry for other women who date less attractive men. At first I was flattered, but after a while it got awkward. The guys in our friend group have started resenting me, because theyʼre not exactly conventionally attractive and when I was single, I would often get all the attention from women at the club while they got overlooked.

Yesterday Cassie and I were hanging out with our friends again, Cassie also brought her new friend along. Her friend got a bit tipsy and made a sexual joke about her husband. Cassie laughed and started bragging about our sex life and casually mentioned that I have a big penis. My friends rolled their eyes and at this point I had enough too. I pulled Cassie aside and told her that her constant bragging about me is getting insufferable and that she needs to find something else to talk about. This started an argument and she claimed I was being rude for calling her insufferable and that other men would be happy if their girlfriend was proud of them. We went back to our friends shortly after, but the mood was obviously ruined. Cassie didnʼt want me to drive her home and drove off with her friend instead. She ignored my texts as well. Iʼm conflicted, because Cassie didnʼt really do anything wrong and I never mentioned that her compliments bothered me until yesterday. So she thought I was being happy about it. But her constant compliments were also condescending towards our friends and sharing intimate details about me was inappropriate and crossed a boundary. Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/nesquiknoodles on 2024-01-18 18:51:43+00:00.

I, F15 have a younger F9 sister. She has a really bad habit of stealing my mom's stuff and my stuff. Recently I bought these really nice earring with stars on them (they were around 70$). Eventually I lost them but I wasn't surprised considering I lose alot of things due to my memory issues. Since my younger sister is 9, shes not allowed a phone but recently when she went to her grandmas, she stole one of her grandmas phone. Grandma called my mom and said to check younger sisters room but while my mom and I were looking for a phone, I found my earrings I've been desperately looking for. I stood up with anger and thought of something to do. She was outside playing in the snow so what if I stole her stuff? I look around and I see her favorite doll. I take the doll and shove it under my bed until my younger sister asks where it is. Then I will bring up how she always steals my stuff and that I will burn it if she continues to steal my stuff. A bit harsh, I'm aware but she's been stealing my stuff for a year and I'm tired of buying myself nice things and losing them to a entitled iPad kid. I will be setting up cameras in my room without telling her and the next time I see her come in my room, her doll gets burned to death. (Until the roads are shovelled we can't go out and buy a lock for my door) EDIT: I don't plan on actually burning the doll I just plan on telling her I will. I'm not that mean. (Tysm everyone for the advice, due to the heat of the moment I wasn't really thinking straight and ive decided to just give the doll back and tell her how it affects me when she takes my stuff)

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Zapruder88 on 2024-01-18 18:33:27+00:00.

I (35M) rented an apartment with a $750 dog fee charged upfront for providing dog waste bags and maintaining the onsite dog park. Yes, kind of absurd, but I had to pay it in full. I only lived there 5 months, but the fee is for a year. I finally bought a house and moved out 9 months ago.

By chance, I drive by my old complex about once a month, so I stop in one of the garbage areas where there are several rolls with a thousand bags in them and unravel 60 bags to get me through the next month. Nobody that lives or works there ever seemed to care possibly because I still have out of state license plates and the apartment is a hot spot for new transplants to the area.

Today a woman got out of her car and started harassing me for taking too many bags calling me a 'klepto' because when older residents in the complex need a dog bag, they end up walking around in the freezing icy cold so they can be responsible pet owners. I pointed out that there are several stations with hundreds of bags in each, but she threatened to take a picture of me and call management since she never saw me or my dog before and that it was 'theft by unlawful taking'. I apologized for not knowing better and got the heck out of there.

AITA for 'stealing' something I technically paid for but didn't get the chance to use completely?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/auk218 on 2024-01-18 17:47:37+00:00.

My boyfriend cannot handle alcohol- he drinks way too much and becomes an angry drunk. There was a time when he was an alcoholic (drinking every day, all day). We’ve had many bad episodes until one day there was such a bad episode bordering on abuse (throwing things near me) that I gave an ultimatum to stop drinking. Since then, he hasn’t stopped drinking completely but drinks comparatively less (not to the point of getting piss drunk where he remembers nothing the next day) and is not as much of a mean drunk.

The problem is that a few times the past week he has gotten piss drunk again and while nothing bad happened, it gave me PTSD that a bad cycle may start again. He told me that he would stop drinking completely and he’s a new leaf (he is moving to join me in a new city). However for this weekend he requested if he could drink for a road trip with his friends. I said no. However this week I also got promoted and my friends were thinking of a celebration.

I would like to preface this by saying I am not a drinker (I will have like two drinks in three months). I’m also a workaholic and right now really feel like blowing off steam by having a drink or two with my friends, something I usually avoid doing since I’m so cautious monitoring my partners intake. So AITA for asking him not to drink while not completely stop drinking myself? I feel like I shouldn’t be prevented from having a normal relationship with alcohol just because he can’t control how much he drinks and can’t remember what an asshole he becomes on it.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AITAflowersthrowaway on 2024-01-18 16:48:50+00:00.

My (33M) girlfriend (28F) have been together for almost 4 years, but only began living together just over a year ago. Before that we were long distance and I used to send her flowers for special occasions and sometimes just because. I often spent a good deal of money on a dozen roses. She was very grateful and would say how when she looked at them it reminded her of me and made her smile. It might be worth noting she never brought me flowers, but that didn't bother me as its a bit of a girly thing (no judgement or whatever, but honestly I could care less about flowers).

Anyway, now to the issue at hand. Since living together I haven't brought her flowers - honestly I hadn't really thought to, because I'm right here in the same flat and so she doesn't need a reminder of me. Well just before Christmas she brought a Christmas flower arrangement, which I figured was just part of decorating for christmas. Early January she threw it out, and in its place appeared another vase of flowers, which I didn't say anything about because she was not working (she's a private school teacher and was off for their Christmas holidays) and I figured she's just bored. But I guess they died and now there's another vase of flowers in its place, and this time it's a dozen roses!

I asked her what was up with the roses, and she said she likes flowers and that as I never buy her them anymore she has decided to get them for herself. I didn't say anything at the time but this has really got to me questioning her. It seems really passive aggressive to go out and buy roses for yourself just to make a point (literally identical to the arrangements I brought for her!). And now every time I walk into the kitchen I am hit with how shitty a boyfriend she thinks I am.

Edit: I appreciate the comments, even though some of them were hard to swallow.

It seems the jury is split, I’m either an unloving asshole because I've overlooked an obvious hint to gift my girlfriend flowers and make her happy, or I’m a self-absorbed asshole and her purchasing flowers isn't anything to do with me. Either way though, it seems like I’m an asshole.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Affectionate-Hour957 on 2024-01-18 16:42:34+00:00.

I am 22(F) college student ,currently in the last semester. I landed a job offer in another state for which I had to start the internship from the starting of January. First time I talked to the HR to postpone my joining date by 2 days as my flight was booked late. Then she reached out again to me about my joining date to confirm it and I informed that due to the bad weather the flights are getting either delayed or canceled so again I'll have to delay my joining by 1 day more and she accepted my request. Now on the same day unfortunately I met with an accident ,fracturing my arm and also having a ligament tear in my leg. I was unconscious for a long time and as soon as I got up, I informed the HR about my situation how everything turned out and even send her the X-Ray pictures and medical report the next day. I asked if my joining date could be delayed further by a week or two and she told me that I am not responsible and don't even deserve a job offer. Was I on the wrong here?

Edit- I was informed 1 week prior to the joining date that I got the offer and the joining date was 1 January. As the new year is a busy time all the tickets were booked ..the only nearest date where a ticket was available was 3 January (The cost of the ticket being equal to the total stipend I was going to get in a month of internship).

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/almondnymph on 2024-01-18 16:35:28+00:00.

At the start of any friendship, I make it known that I do not like dogs. There is a lot of backstory to it that doesn't matter too much, but the main reason is that barking causes me severe distress as I have very bad sensory issues.

When I met "Amy" two years ago, one of the first things she brought up was having two dogs that she loved. I immediately told her that was cool, however, I don't like dogs and we should probably just hang out outside and I wouldn't come over to hers. Then one day when we meet up (she takes the bus to meet me), she brings one of her dogs. It's a small dog she can fit in her backpack and it never stops barking. I politely tell her that I cannot handle the sound of barking as it literally makes my head pound and she does what all dog moms do.

"He's just a baby." "He's literally fine don't worry about it." "There's nothing wrong with him barking you'll get over it." "It's so cute how he's barking at the other dogs, he's talking to them!"

When she also knows that I have severe sensory issues (another one is that I cannot be touched and that one can be respected just fine.)

Anyway, this has happened multiple times over the last two years and I've just dealt with it as I love Amy as a friend. I usually just bring earbuds or make sure the dog stays away from me at all times. Except now she keeps talking about moving in together once our leases are up this year and I was into it at first until I remembered she has dogs (object permanence).

I guess I'm asking for help. How would I even go about reminding her of this? I feel like a b*tch.

WIBTA if I told her no, I don't want to move in because of your dogs?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Dreverse1999 on 2024-01-18 16:24:51+00:00.

I (23F) have been in a great relationship with my boyfriend, Paul (23M), for around two years now. Recently, we attended the funeral service of one of his best friends since high school, and during the service, Paul kissed the coffin. Not many people seemed to notice, and I thought it was a nice gesture, but I was kinda weirded out. He approached me and looked at me, saying, “What’s that face about?” and I just whispered, “Oh nothing, I just think that was kinda awkward, unusual” Paul just gave me a smile and kept walking with teary eyes.

I know funerals are highly emotional events so I didn’t mention anything else after that and I didn’t meant to directly judge his behaviour.

The next day, during a casual conversation with a couple of our group friends, I mentioned to one particular friend that I thought Paul kissing the coffin was kinda weird but sweet in retrospective, not really thinking much about it, just as a recounting of the previous day. One of our mutual friends overheard us and said, “I don’t think that’s weird; it was our last time to say goodbye right?” and that she thought it was a touching moment. At that point, everyone joined the conversation, and one of the other friends was like, “Oh buddy!!!” and gave my boyfriend a big hug. I added, “Yeah, I said it was sweet but not something you see every day, isn't it?” and everyone got all quiet.

My boyfriend seemed a little uncomfortable. He said, "Please, let’s change the subject." we did but after that, he kinda zoned out and left earlier than we had planned for that day. This was almost two weeks ago, and we're still talking like usual, but I don’t want to keep bothering our friends over this, and I'd rather not bother Paul since he’s still grieving. My sister thinks I was wrong to express my thoughts at that moment and that kissing a closed casket or coffin is not really that unusual, and I should leave it alone.

I know that writing a Reddit post is the opposite of leaving it alone, but some of our mutual friends told me I was being very obnoxious that day with Paul by bringing up the subject. So, I guess I need to know from more perspectives if I was indeed an a-hole for mentioning what I was thinking.

Perhaps it's a cultural thing because I was raised in Germany, and he’s French, but I don’t believe I was rude for simply bringing it up! Maybe I lack funeral service etiquette?

EDIT: I knew his friend too, and he was a great guy and an amazing person all around. Just so you know I’m also grieving in a way

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/kys143 on 2024-01-18 15:08:40+00:00.

I (15, nb) used to for a bit be able to walk out at any time I wanted. My mom limited the time to "10:00". This did make it harder considering, I don't go out during the day because I have photophobia (light sensitivity).

A couple days ago, I went to the doctors for a check-up, I told them that I went on walks at night. They told me that it's good that I go on these walks. I then told them, lately I've been passing out (due to insomnia and trouble sleeping at night, as well as being burnt out) and missing out on them- they said I should try my hardest to continue doing it though.

Last night, I woke up at 9:46, then decided to go on a walk. The next morning I was confronted. She said because I went out I wouldn't be able to meet my girlfriend (we’re long distance and barely see each other). I think, as well as my girlfriend, that I shouldn't go unpunished.. but that I also shouldn't have someone held over my head – especially seeing as it'd be punishing her too.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Aggressive-Formal375 on 2024-01-18 12:58:46+00:00.

I (17m) have been hanging out with friends my parents don't like. I've been keeping on doing it, but recently my sister and her husband called me and said if I don't stop wasting my life with them, they'd drive over and take something from me.

I decided I was close enough to adulthood to keep my friends waiting for me, and stopped hanging out with them for now.

Driving home from school, my car broke down, and I had to spend three hours trying to get it to work. When i got home, my dog was gone. They'd sent her to a farm they've yet to disclose to me.

I said nothing and walked to my room. They stayed for dinner, so I had no choice but to sit at the table with them. They didn't believe that my car broke down, and laughed about my dog.

I talked over my sister, ignored her, and when she raised her voice to get a word in, I said something I'd whipped together in my room.

"Sitting here, I am faced with two options. Either the ghost of a 9 year old girl is screaming into my ear, or the fat, squelching pig that continues to leech of my family and has the gall to call itself a person has decided to open its mouth around me. I don't like either of these options."

Naturally, she blew up and her husband got in my face, and I asked them both if they wanted to risk my word against theirs if I called the police. They left, and my parents have this look of terror on their faces. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/sharkattacks29 on 2024-01-18 12:34:05+00:00.

Me (18F) and my friends (18F, 18M, 18NB) have been friends for well over 10 years. During this time our get togethers, most of, if not all of them, include everyone. If some date/time doesnt work for one of us, we change it so everyone can be included, since there are only 4 of us.

Earlier this week they decided to meet up today (thursday, a school day). None of them have school the next day, while i do. I should note that one of them does not go to school, and the other two have a very easy school program compared to what i do, they barely work and stay at home most of the time. I, however, go to school every day, my days end later than theirs and i cant skip classes. They decided to meet up at 1pm when i could probably get there at 3:30. They invited me as well, but i told them its inconvenient for me, as i would get there so late that they would probably want to leave soon, and that i was hurt and upset by the fact that they did not consider my circumstances in this situation.

This ended in a fight between me and the three of them, who think that its not that big of a deal, but im mad at them because i feel left out. Am i making a big deal out of nothing?

UPDATE: I read the comments and apologized. They accepted my apology and im omw to head over now, as its not too late yet :) Thank you all for the feedback

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/1_robbob_1 on 2024-01-18 11:04:38+00:00.

I’m heading overseas next week. Figured I’d make an early start on the dating apps, so I changed up my Hinge location to my holiday destination. I match with a girl and we start talking. We set in place a plan to meet up. This will be my first time meeting someone off of Hinge.

I told a close friend of mine about her and my plan to meet up with her. He was happy for me. That night, he told me he changed his Hinge location to the same city, and the same girl liked his profile and he matched with her. I found out they started chatting, and I’m pretty sure they’re now sending nudes back and forth.

I asked him (kindly) to stop, and I think he will, but the fact that I needed to ask him is a bit worrying.

From one point, the girl I matched with is not ‘mine’. She is free to do what she wants and talk with whoever she pleases. Same with my mate. But, there’s gotta be at least a hundred million good looking girls in the world, and I feel like it’s a dick move for my mate to sext the one girl I’m meeting up with in an entirely different part of the world.

Thoughts?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/123vixie on 2024-01-18 09:16:07+00:00.

Today, me and my family went to the supermarket to buy some ice cream and some other snacks. When we went outside, our parents realized that they had forgotten to get the food. Suddenly, my parents started screaming at me and my sister to go get the food that they had left behind at the supermarket counter. We were really confused because who the hell forgets to take the food that you pay for at the supermarket!? We were angry at how they put the blame on us when they were clearly in the wrong. They blamed it on us by saying that we should have noticed that they didn't take the food. We didn't at all notice that they didn't get the food. It was also not our responsibility to take the food, as we were behind them while they were paying for it.

What is your opinion on this? Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Past_Note2413 on 2024-01-19 06:26:51+00:00.

Long story short my boyfriend has these friends who are married with a young child and they keep taking in animals. They live in a one bedroom apartment with 13 cats and last I heard four big dogs. They only have one litter box and the dogs usually potty inside because they aren't taken out on a regular basis. I don't know what will happen if they get animal welfare called on them, and if they get fined they won't be able to afford it because they can barely afford basic necessities now but a few of their animals have gotten sick and have died and I can't help but wonder if it's because of the conditions of the apartment.