Terrible photos listed by estate agents/realtors that are so bad they’re funny.
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Posts in this community must be of property (inside or out) listed for sale which contains a terrible element. “Terrible” can refer to:
the photo itself (finger over the lens, too far away, people in the shot, bad Photoshop, etc.)
the property (weird layout, questionable plumbing, unsound structure, etc.)
the interior (carpeted bathrooms, awful taste interiors, weird mannequins/taxidermies/art, inflatable pools indoors, etc.)
the actual listing itself including unusual descriptions and unrealistic pricing. However, this isn’t a community to discuss the housing market in general. This is a comedic community - let’s keep it light.
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Just horrible in every way.
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2908-Kennedy-Ave-Grand-Junction-CO-81504/13953108_zpid/
The high ceilings add to the open and airy ambiance, while the living room takes center stage with a stripper pole for entertainment and a 10-person hot tub, perfect for relaxing or hosting unforgettable gatherings.
I know, but in the kitchen. Really. There's sanitary issues.
It is only theoretically a kitchen:
The kitchen, while cozy, is functional and ideal for preparing quick meals.
I'd suggest you reframe your thinking - that's the main sex room with somewhere to prepare intercoital snacks.
I'm more concerned about the acoustic issues to be honest.
And really just the complete unsexiness of this space on every level
The house that Dogecoin built.
This building was designed to make a statement and that statement is "I have tech money." A detail that jumped out at me is the garage is connected to the kitchen via a large glass door; the cars parked therein are meant to be part of the decor of the house.
The state of the place makes another statement, and that statement is "I very suddenly don't have tech money anymore." The building itself looks 99.9% finished, there's some wires hanging out of a wall in one picture which makes me think there should have been another television installed or something, and work on the yard was abandoned pretty early on. I doubt the guy who ordered this monstrosity has spent a single afternoon here before his stocks collapsed and/or he went to jail for wire fraud or something. Seller is a tech brosn't.
For when you just gotta relax in a hot tub while watching a movie while your strippers dance on a pole and cook you dinner by the light of a chandelier and you also need rapid access to your small aircraft that fits in your garage.
I'm pretty sure that garage is designed to house and display 2 to 4 exotic cars. The big plate glass doors into the kitchen say to me "I wanna be able to see my Ferrari from the hot tub."
It’s so the “companion” can see the exotic cars while she’s riding the guy in the hot tub and remind herself why she’s suffering through this ordeal, keeping focused on the large cash payout and continuing to pretend enjoying what she’s doing.
Tbone steak, cheese, eggs, and Welch's grape
Is that a porn house?
And why is there parking space for like 200 cars outside?
Airbnb party house.
The neighbors have probably tried to burn it down.
Is no one going to mention the horrific slip risk on that marble tile? Stepping on that with wet feet is a TBI waiting to happen
my first thought was "oh joys finally i can crack open my skull outside of the bathroom!"
Not to mention the gap between the Jacuzzi and the floor - someone's going to trip and break a leg!
Is that a stripper pole on the middle?
I was literally just thinking that. Must've been built by a rich guy who likes maids and twitch streamers
I mean I'd be up for entertainment from maids and twitch streamers...
But I also wouldn't create this grand room of hazards with the hopes of paying some of those women to entertain me. Seems excessive.
Actually, now that I think about it more, its weird to me that anyone would actually be entertained by whatever it is the designer was hoping to accomplish here. If it were me, I'd be far to paranoid someone would slip and die, or the inevitable flying booze would ignite on the stove. And to add to it, what is that entertaining about watching maids and twitch streamers do whatever this guy was thinking? Did he lose his dick so this is the closest thing he can get to what he used to feel with a woman?
And now that I'm done thinking about that I'm realizing the answer is far more obvious: cocaine. It's the cocaine.
The Zillow description straight up calls it a stripper pole.
is the stripper pole load bearing?
also if i didn’t know any better i would say that thing in front of the pool is a folding bed so the room also counts as one of the spacious bedrooms they advertise on zillow. but it’s hard to tell even with the listing and the additional photos. one benefit of the listing is seeing that the other massive room is an indoor basketball court though.
is the stripper pole load bearing?
That may depend on the user.
Jakscuse me?
It’s wild that this room is basically the entire living space. There are two small bedrooms and bathrooms, and then this. They list the kitchen separately but if I’m interpreting the dimensions correctly it’s a 20x24 foot room with a kitchenette, a stripper pole, and a ten-person hot tub. And 8 TVs, 6 of them in the middle of the main window, although I suspect they might be photoshopped in.
That is by far the worst use of 2,000+ sqft I’ve ever seen.
And I’m actively house hunting for around that size, so I’ve seen some… interesting spaces.
No one even commenting on the bathroom. Three miles of countertop for two sinks. A giant bathtub nook with an expensive but rather small tub.
You obviously don't sous vide much.
A basketball hoop in the garage? A kitchen with cabinets so high up you'll need a ladder? And only $1.5 million dollars!
I've brought up some of my issues in other comments, but here's the rest of them:
The front door doesn't feel centered and the side panel really bothers me.
Why do I need a massive clear wall into the garage?
The jutting, unfinished bricks on the interior walls is just asking for people to scrape themselves on it.
Those are relatively low doorknobs combined with abnormally tall doors.
In the bathroom: why put the faucet for the tub there, where it blocks easy access to that big space by the wall?
Why do you have such massive bathroom sinks, with the faucets struck way off into a tiny corner of them? Is it for doing the laundry, because there isn't a washer/dryer shown anywhere, and I didn't see a hookup for one, either.
The second bathroom sinks seem more reasonable, but the pics of the second bathroom seem to leave part of the room out.
It's such a comparatively small bedroom for such a large place.
They're not showing the inside of the closets, which makes me think they're very small. Or maybe they just forgot them.
Literally half of the house is a drive-through garage!
The little house to the left is also included on the property. There aren't any pictures of the inside, possibly due to what looks like a collapsed roof.
And going back to comments I made elsewhere, but which still bother me:
Why is there a gap around the edge of the Jacuzzi? Someone's going to break their leg!
AND WHERE IS THE REFRIGERATOR?!
Also a nice TV too high in the sex room.
Swinger house.
A group owned it for fucking.
It's new construction.
This is an AirBnB party house. No one who owns this will ever spend a night there.
I see a lot of theories here but, if we're honest about it, there's no making sense of this.
Why does it look like CGI? Hell, it looks like a Second Life house with that stripper pole. Just needs more couches and chairs.
The lighting is impossibly even and nothing is casting a shadow. Gives it that uncanny 2000s video game feel where textures got pretty good but most engines still didn't have much in the way of dynamic lighting.
It's like a 90s kid designed it so the hot lady could get the pizza rolls out of the microwave swing on the pole and serve it to them in the hot tub 🤣
Except it needs a lot more colors and jagged shapes on the walls.
Hot tub streamers optimal space
Two things, the echo in that room would be beyond horrid, also I think the tv is not high enough .... :/
Just pop in some cupboards ten feet in the air in case the fucking Harlem Globetrotters come round for a bath and a poledance.
There's no space for a fridge. I see an outlet on the wall but why would you not made a space for it.
AI generated house? Also, nice garden...
I don't know man, I could put in a roast and then wait in the jacuzzi for a couple of hours.
