this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 116 points 1 week ago (4 children)

How old are they that they called labeled as ableist? This would not have happened in 2000s elementary

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

I don't know - the term "ableist" has certainly spiked in popularity in the last ten years or so, but even in the 90's you'd get a bollocking for throwing around the terms "mong" or "spaz" or "flid" within earshot of a teacher.

I mean, I can see why - I hate the terms myself now. but when you're in single digits of age, it's just used as another derisory term rather than a specific slight at someone's physical or mental development challenges.

It still got you in hot water if you were daft enough to get caught shouting it though.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago

I'm not native and I discovered the word by reading a Lemmy community's rules.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I had a teacher in the 90's call me a spaz.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Spaz was very mild in the US and very serious in the UK. Meant kinda different things too.

The opposite for extremity in these countries at the time was fanny. Meant completely different things.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (10 children)

Were you in a big city? Mine was pretty small. I wonder if that has to do with it? I never heard the word until maybe high school or college

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Nah I was in a pretty small town, semi-rural but not buttfuck-nowhere either.

It certainly wasn't labelled "ableist" then, it was simply "being a little shit" - I only really learned of the term ableism around 10-15 years ago.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Hm.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=ableist&year_start=1990&year_end=2022&corpus=en&smoothing=3

They could be in 4th grade in 2010, and be 25 now posting this. I could also believe that elementary school teachers could be among the first 5% of people to adopt a new super-inclusive type of brand new lefty language that's just starting to be used for a new type of friendly inclusiveness in 2000.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Makes sense.

I'm about 10 years older and have never heard the term in person, only in lefty online communities like Lemmy. I even took an ASL class from a deaf person (highly recommend, though maybe my teacher just rocked) as an adult with my SO, and we didn't even use the term "ablism," but instead just "hearing" to describe people who aren't deaf (so the concept, not the term). That would've been mid to late 2010s, IIRC.

Couple that with the claimed suspension in 4th grade, and I have serious doubts any of this happened. To get suspended, you need to be starting fist fights or something, even cussing or intentionally insulting people would probably only land normal detention.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Could be that they didn't say ableist at the time it happened but anon remembers it that way it just tells it that way.

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[–] [email protected] 85 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Anon after getting back:

The name’s Richard

removed Richard

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Nems Bernd, Jeums Bernd.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 week ago

Principal:

"OK this kid is fucking based, I'll reward him with a week off"

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 week ago (2 children)

When I went to school, one kid during that exercise said that his name was so-and-so, and one thing he liked to do was stick his thumb up his ass.

He was known as "Thumbs" for the next four years, possibly longer. I actually don't think I ever learned his name, he was just Thumbs.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I knew a kid who was caught beating his meat on a school trip, and was thereafter known as Spanky.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Definitely a learning experience for that kid.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I can see it now... I'm called first; I don't know what an adjective is (I still struggle); I panic from the social anxiety of stage fright; I awkwardly try to say anything at all, so I can sit the fuck down and move on; so I say, "Really Richard"

I'm told that's an adverb, and I need to use an adjective. Now I'm pale as a ghost and about to faint from the panic. I stutter, "Richmond Richard?". I'm informed that's a proper noun, so I quickly try again (visibly sweating) spouting, "Reading Richard!"... and am told to sit down, because that was a noun and I've now been assigned extra homework on grammar.

Someone snickers and says "removed Richard" in a low voice. The entire class laughs, the teacher is doing their best not to crack a smile (but I can tell), and I am henceforth known as "removed Richard" until graduation and beyond.

Adverbs, adjectives, verbs... prepositions! I'm in a living nightmare. There is no waking up from this. I am, forever, "removed Richard"

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Why your screenshot looks more beautiful than usual greentexts?

edit: is it a custom font?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

They used an AI upscaler to enhance the details

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

What is my purpose?
You enhance shitposts.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Zoomed in before screenshotting

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This actually happened, btw

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

...Richard?

[–] adarza 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

a 9 yo kid getting a week suspension at the start of the school year simply and only because he called himself ~~redacted~~.. idts

(it filters the word here)

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's dumb dick to his friends

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

crummy cock to his acquaintances

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (6 children)

I wonder what Zelda came up with for that introduction

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (4 children)

"Xylophone Zelda". Really fucked over Xenias introduction

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Uh, xylophone doesn't start with Z, back to kindergarten until you learn your letters.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Gotta be xenophobic Xenia now, sorry, I don't make the rules

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

depending how she's feeling, zany, zen or zealous?

Or zonked, if she smoked a fat dart beforehand

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Zooted Zelda (she on coke)

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (5 children)

As an outsider, it's wild to me that you can/could get suspended from school so easily.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm concerned but someone must tell you: Greentexts are not real stories

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

The schools I as at growing up you wouldn't have gotten this as a punishment until like your 10th strike. You'd get increasingly severe suspensions. One to five days in school suspension then one to five days out of school suspension. Then you got expelled. It's possible OP doesn't remember correctly how long they were suspended. It's also possible this post is a lie, but I'm being generous.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (8 children)

I can't come up with anything better, can anyone else?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

We had a dude called Richard in primary school that went blank at the thought of a nickname. Obviously, as responsible classmates we helped him out, and he was christened Romanian Richard.

Richard was not Romanian, nor did he have any ties to the fine country of Romania.

Whatever inexplicable logic that was at play here, directed that he should have the last ten seconds of the Taz-Mania theme sung to him repeatedly, sorta like:

"Richard Romanian,

Richard Romanian,

Richard Romanian,

We mean you!"

Before making the appropriate Taz noises finishing with a raspberry in close proximity to his face. What was really weird, was that Richard didn't appreciate this new fame and form of address, which was a real shame because everyone else did and it was highly entertaining before teachers got involved, parents got called, and it was saved for the days when Richard was really being a oil-fired arsehole.

These were the days before we drew the line from Richard to Dick, you must understand.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Reliable

Respectable

Resplendent

Remarkable

Relativistic

Reprehensible

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Rancorous should fit the average anon as well.

Or simply racist.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Reasonable Richard

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Rich Richard too obvious for you ri**ards?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

They called him Rich-tard for short.

But he got the last laugh when rich 'tards ruled the country.

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