this post was submitted on 27 Feb 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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submitted 22 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
top 36 comments
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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago

Who bro opps πŸ’€

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

That's a catch!

[–] [email protected] 78 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

Anyone who got a chuckle from this, it's an excerpt from the Fur Trapper Saga, a series of fictional letters of advertisement for competing fur trapping businesses. Every one of the letters is hilarious, and they become more unhinged as PB Fouke and JF Swanton start really responding to each other's claims. Highly recommend for anyone wanting some of that 2007-style forum humor.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago

Squeals with joy

[–] [email protected] 38 points 20 hours ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Dude! I just picked a new avatar 2 hours ago from that screen! And now you post it here.

The chance for that was so incredibly low!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Was it Guybrush, or one of the other pirates?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

The green one!? Can't you see my avatar pic?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Shows up as a chibi anime girl for me. Maybe it takes a while to show up on all the different instances.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 16 hours ago

That was the one from before. It's probably cached on your device until you reboot it or the app.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 19 hours ago

damn! two monkey island references in the wild in two days!

[–] [email protected] 29 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

A ... a Deepwater what now?

The other two are at least parseable as ... actually describing an actually existing kind of person, albeit using ... less than appropriate terminology.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rare+deep+water+jew

Oh. Ohhhkay then.

Thanks 4chan, that's enough internet for me for now, jfc.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

For context, this paragraph is lifted from SomethingAwful's Fur Trapper Saga, a series of fictional advertisements put out by two fictional fur trappers, who are competing in business.

While one of the trappers, PB Fouke, tries to sell his business on dedication, JF Swanton sells his furs on the promise that he is so cruel of course he's going to have the best furs.

Doesn't make it less offensive, but the point being that it was written in character as a fur trapper from the 1800s who regarded himself as much more cruel than all else.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

Holy shit theres some hilarious stuff in there!

Two days prior to this day, and with absolute faith in the infinite possibilities of science, I climbed the highest peak of the Ozarks in search of the aerie of a North American condor. Having located a particularly fearsome specimen, I engaged the patriotic beast in hand-to-hand combat atop its mountain fastness. I dispatched its mewling young with contemptible ease, but the enraged matron of the flock scored several brutal pecks to my hands and arms. Weakened by these expert exsanguinations, I grabbed the bird around its feathered neck and throttled it.

This dwarf specimen is only one tenth the girth of the creature I faced [drawing of condor]. During what I assumed to be the creature's last moments of life I was overcome with a natural and complete love of country. I could see bombs bursting red in the sky and singed flags flapping beneath a gently tooting bugle. In my patriotic fugue I unwittingly lessened my grip on the condor's gizzard, allowing it to slip free my grasp and begin anew its attack on my face. My love for the Union was so powerful that I became blinded by the tears streaming from my eyes.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

'expert exsanguinations' is not a phrase I think I've ever read before, hahah!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Wonderful.

It's from SomethingAwful, an even older and possibly an even more wretched hive of scum and villainy than 4chan.

This is just more netlore at this point, but:

m00t made 4chan after either convincing a bunch of users of SA's hentai forum to come join his new cooler and better site without censorship on loli...

... or he just actually got banned from SA for posting too much loli, and thus was 4chan.

I can't actually source that last claim definitively, but I swear I've seen a video with LowTax stating such.

Wikipedia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan

The site was launched as 4chan.net on October 1, 2003, by Christopher Poole, a then-15-year-old student from New York City using the online handle "moot".[25] Poole had been a regular participant on Something Awful's subforum "Anime Death Tentacle Rape Whorehouse" (ADTRW), where many users were familiar with the Japanese imageboard format and Futaba Channel ("2chan.net").

Encyclopedia Dramatica:

https://edramatica.com/4chan

4chan got it's start from Something Awful moot a poster on ADTRW (The Anime Forum) and some other faggots needed a site that they could host their Child Porn Anime. Moot also had an obsession with 2Channel so he decided to download Futabally and translate it to English, then host it on a webserver. He originally sent it to 20 of his goon friends and eventually everyone in ADTRW and every other Something Awful board full of closet anime pedophiles (all of them) started to use 4chan and the Internet Hate Machine began.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (2 children)

Makes a lot of sense lol. I appreciate your usage of ED as a source, I find that reading between the opinions yields some shockingly accurate web history. I remember being shocked at their articles for gay and trans people... and then you read the one on straight people and realize they believe in equal treatment.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

I love going back to browse ED occasionally. Both because it's such a blast from the past with so many memes and references I've forgotten about, and also just how absolutely batshit insane it is

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

They even have two separate articles for Trump, each from the complete opposite perspective.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I’m pretty sure the meme predates the UD definition

[–] [email protected] 4 points 18 hours ago

Evidently it is from Something Awful, I had not seen it before.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Actually a good profile if he’s trying to find someone with a similar sense of absurdist humor.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 19 hours ago

I would honestly be interested in meeting him.

[–] HikingVet 24 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Does the lack of soul keep him young?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

No, that's his vampire blood

[–] [email protected] 3 points 18 hours ago

Mongo just pawn in game of life.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Unironically I'd bet he scored with that bio

[–] [email protected] 4 points 22 hours ago

Just add tested and clean and boom.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 20 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 18 hours ago

One eye lookin’ atcha’ one eye lookin’ for ya

[–] [email protected] 7 points 22 hours ago

Is this his application letter for the 27 Club?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 21 hours ago

These are just facts he was told about his Outie.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 21 hours ago

19 miles is not far enough

[–] [email protected] 2 points 21 hours ago

Remember to smash that LOVE button to subscribe to more JD facts!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 22 hours ago

I’ve never seen a more perfect specimen

[–] [email protected] 2 points 22 hours ago

ngl that bio makes me quite curious...