Who bro opps π
this post was submitted on 27 Feb 2025
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That's a catch!
Anyone who got a chuckle from this, it's an excerpt from the Fur Trapper Saga, a series of fictional letters of advertisement for competing fur trapping businesses. Every one of the letters is hilarious, and they become more unhinged as PB Fouke and JF Swanton start really responding to each other's claims. Highly recommend for anyone wanting some of that 2007-style forum humor.
Squeals with joy
Dude! I just picked a new avatar 2 hours ago from that screen! And now you post it here.
The chance for that was so incredibly low!
Was it Guybrush, or one of the other pirates?
The green one!? Can't you see my avatar pic?
Shows up as a chibi anime girl for me. Maybe it takes a while to show up on all the different instances.
That was the one from before. It's probably cached on your device until you reboot it or the app.
damn! two monkey island references in the wild in two days!
A ... a Deepwater what now?
The other two are at least parseable as ... actually describing an actually existing kind of person, albeit using ... less than appropriate terminology.
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rare+deep+water+jew
Oh. Ohhhkay then.
Thanks 4chan, that's enough internet for me for now, jfc.
For context, this paragraph is lifted from SomethingAwful's Fur Trapper Saga, a series of fictional advertisements put out by two fictional fur trappers, who are competing in business.
While one of the trappers, PB Fouke, tries to sell his business on dedication, JF Swanton sells his furs on the promise that he is so cruel of course he's going to have the best furs.
Doesn't make it less offensive, but the point being that it was written in character as a fur trapper from the 1800s who regarded himself as much more cruel than all else.
Holy shit theres some hilarious stuff in there!
Two days prior to this day, and with absolute faith in the infinite possibilities of science, I climbed the highest peak of the Ozarks in search of the aerie of a North American condor. Having located a particularly fearsome specimen, I engaged the patriotic beast in hand-to-hand combat atop its mountain fastness. I dispatched its mewling young with contemptible ease, but the enraged matron of the flock scored several brutal pecks to my hands and arms. Weakened by these expert exsanguinations, I grabbed the bird around its feathered neck and throttled it.
This dwarf specimen is only one tenth the girth of the creature I faced [drawing of condor]. During what I assumed to be the creature's last moments of life I was overcome with a natural and complete love of country. I could see bombs bursting red in the sky and singed flags flapping beneath a gently tooting bugle. In my patriotic fugue I unwittingly lessened my grip on the condor's gizzard, allowing it to slip free my grasp and begin anew its attack on my face. My love for the Union was so powerful that I became blinded by the tears streaming from my eyes.
'expert exsanguinations' is not a phrase I think I've ever read before, hahah!
Wonderful.
It's from SomethingAwful, an even older and possibly an even more wretched hive of scum and villainy than 4chan.
This is just more netlore at this point, but:
m00t made 4chan after either convincing a bunch of users of SA's hentai forum to come join his new cooler and better site without censorship on loli...
... or he just actually got banned from SA for posting too much loli, and thus was 4chan.
I can't actually source that last claim definitively, but I swear I've seen a video with LowTax stating such.
Wikipedia:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan
The site was launched as 4chan.net on October 1, 2003, by Christopher Poole, a then-15-year-old student from New York City using the online handle "moot".[25] Poole had been a regular participant on Something Awful's subforum "Anime Death Tentacle Rape Whorehouse" (ADTRW), where many users were familiar with the Japanese imageboard format and Futaba Channel ("2chan.net").
Encyclopedia Dramatica:
4chan got it's start from Something Awful moot a poster on ADTRW (The Anime Forum) and some other faggots needed a site that they could host their Child Porn Anime. Moot also had an obsession with 2Channel so he decided to download Futabally and translate it to English, then host it on a webserver. He originally sent it to 20 of his goon friends and eventually everyone in ADTRW and every other Something Awful board full of closet anime pedophiles (all of them) started to use 4chan and the Internet Hate Machine began.
Makes a lot of sense lol. I appreciate your usage of ED as a source, I find that reading between the opinions yields some shockingly accurate web history. I remember being shocked at their articles for gay and trans people... and then you read the one on straight people and realize they believe in equal treatment.
I love going back to browse ED occasionally. Both because it's such a blast from the past with so many memes and references I've forgotten about, and also just how absolutely batshit insane it is
They even have two separate articles for Trump, each from the complete opposite perspective.
Iβm pretty sure the meme predates the UD definition
Evidently it is from Something Awful, I had not seen it before.
Actually a good profile if heβs trying to find someone with a similar sense of absurdist humor.
I would honestly be interested in meeting him.
Does the lack of soul keep him young?
No, that's his vampire blood
Mongo just pawn in game of life.
Unironically I'd bet he scored with that bio
Just add tested and clean and boom.
One mile with each eye
One eye lookinβ atchaβ one eye lookinβ for ya
Is this his application letter for the 27 Club?
These are just facts he was told about his Outie.
19 miles is not far enough
Remember to smash that LOVE button to subscribe to more JD facts!
Iβve never seen a more perfect specimen
ngl that bio makes me quite curious...