Ask Lemmy

If you take your own life, things will never get better. It's not going to be all sunshine and rainbows if you don't, but it can get better. Ending your life removes all possibility of any good thing ever happening. But you'll never find out if you're not here to see it.

It's a dark take to have, but it's just not worth it to cut the wire here. It can be hard, and things may seem bleak, but as long as you're still here, there's still a chance for life to get better, it often does, and it's a chance worth fighting for.

It's easy to be caught in the here and now, but you can't predict the future even if it feels like it. Take the time you've been given and use it. All ending your life will do is end the chance for better things.

The other thing is it's not a release. Religion or not, whatever your beliefs, there's no sudden wave of freedom, or drop of stress. Overwhelmingly reports of someone who attempted or was brought back end with them regretting it or not wanting to give up at the last second.

Life is precious, not because it's good or because there's some holy significance to it, but because you only get to do it once. You can fall in love again, find friends again, join communities, see the sun, help the world, help your neighbors, play video games, whatever. You can always do those again.

But you only get to live this life one time. Fill out that story until you run out of pages. Don't leave the book half finished. If you're alive, there's hope.

My backlog of games.

What's been keeping me going for 20 years is VR. I truly believe we'll see full-dive VR in the next 30 years. I've been watching the progress for decades and the progress is staggering if you look at the big picture. Someday I'll be able to plug into a fantasy universe fully and slay dragons and have epic fantasy adventures. That's worth holding out for.

I see it as the height of cowardice. If you feel like your life is truly worthless, that it has no value at all, you're wrong. You can always give your life fighting for a cause you believe in. I continue to live, continue to train, because I wish to die on my feet in battle. If you're an American like me, I've a feeling that battle will be coming very soon. If you aren't...well the world's a pretty violent place right now with fascists rising everywhere you look. I'm sure you'll find a good moment to fight back. Who knows, you might even survive to win, and could change your world enough that hope can live in your heart once more.

I just want to lose my virginity... lmao. And then next best thing would be to have an actual relationship with someone instead of the abusive one I have with my alone time hand.

There's always the next MCU movie coming out! You can grab a cheeky nandos afterwards with that one friend you've kept in touch with from school - but don't spend too much! Need to keep up on the mortgage for the new build starter home with astroturf lawns you are locked into paying for for the next 25 years.

Maybe this will finally be the year for sports team to win something!

I can think of two reasons.

First reason: because things can and probably will get much better. Joy in life comes from the little things. That sounds cliche but it's true. If I could talk to my 14 year old self, who was severely depressed to the point of trying (and thankfully failing) to take his own life, I would tell him about the next 20-ish years. Even though much of it will be hard, it will still be good. And he will grow in ways and get to experience things that he can't even begin to imagine. That's one thing I'm glad he failed at.

Second reason: because believe it or not, you will leave a giant crater in the life of someone (or multiple someones) where you once existed. My great grandpa hung himself in 1929. That's all I know about him aside from his name. I never met my grandpa (died of cancer) but I remember my dad telling me a little about the impact it had on his dad, who was about 15 at the time of his father suicide. Long story short, my grandpa basically stopped growing emotionally at 15. He was a teenager who was very suddenly thrust into the role of an adult.

I don't know what was going on with my great grandpa that led him to take his own life. I do know that what he left behind was a disaster. Including three generations of trauma, manifesting itself as a cycle of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. He effectively destroyed his children who proceeded to pass that destruction all the way down to me.

If you've never watched Ted Lasso which I highly recommend, one of overarching themes is Ted's difficulty dealing with his father's suicide, which occured when Ted was 15. It's a light hearted show overall but there are a few scenes that really hit right in the feels.

Even if you don't have kids, there are people who's lives will be permanently altered for the worse by your untimely death. Some will blame themselves, wondering what they could have done to prevent it.

I think my baseline for existence would be continuous pain and immobility so as long as I'm doing better than that I'm in the + column for remaining alive and embodied. I can walk, read, eat and drink, fuck, work, hear, see (kind of), touch things, listen to music, dance... Not gonna be able to do any of that without a body. So in the selfish way, I want to be alive to enjoy all that, it's well worth the pain of existence to me.

In the unselfish way, I know the difference between losing an old relative to old age, and a younger relative to suicide. The former doesn't hurt, you know they got a good run, can celebrate their life. The latter can really shatter the lives of everyone close to you, in a way that causes grief so lasting and physically and emotionally damaging. I wouldn't do that to anyone.

My mother would be truly devestated, and I don't trust people to take care of my cat the way I want.

No one knows what happens when you die, things could get worse after death and in that case suicide is not a solution but rather a next step towards something even worse.

Given that it is currently impossible (as far as I know) to know what happens at death, the decision to suicide is an uninformed decision of tremendous magnitude.

If by killing yourself things get worse, what would be the next step?

Would you be in a better position to turn things around in the afterlife (assuming that there is one) or now in this life?

In summary, the reason why you should not kill yourself is because you do not know what will be the result of that action your death: your death is not a guaranteed solution to anything.

My best friend ended his life nearly tw o years ago. I am still mournig and feel like I will never get over it. I cry at least once a week.

Life ist the only dramedy about you you'll ever have, so might as well experience that and with a little bit of Yolo attitude!

Because bad times dont last for ever!

Taking action takes effort.

Life is the only thing a human is guaranteed to have - and, as far as I’m concerned, we only get it once. To finish it early seems a terrible waste. It’s the only thing we’ll ever get to do. Might as well give it a bit of a go… it’s not like it goes on for ever, anyway.

Because I want to outlive my enemies.

That next great show is only like 5 years away

Good things can't happen anymore. You might also say that bad things can't happen either, but if it's over then there's no opportunity at all. Life can change as long as it's there.

You can always end it later, so stick around a little longer and see how things play out.

A lot of life is about perspective. I have a checklist, of things that make life worth it for me. They're gonna vary from person to person, obviously, but when I get super depressed, I go through my checklist in my head. I have cats that depend on me and I value their wellbeing. I have relationships with people I care about and want to see. (and kids I want to see grow up) There's still things I want to learn, places I want to see, and things I want to do. Small things, too, like wanting to see the end of a show or enjoy a favorite food. Life has it's hardships, but it also has a lot of things we get to enjoy - and I want to be strong enough to live through the hardships to enjoy the good things. Idk man it all probably sounds kind of cheesy, but watching the sunset brings me a lot of joy. Life doesn't have to be perfect to be worth living.

I get to pet dog

The MOMENT you do, inevitably the world will start getting better.

I would advocate for tuning out of reality over suicide. Move to the middle of nowhere, cut off internet, spend your days chilling and farming. You always have the option of reinterpretation after stuff improves.

this is what your enemies would like to see. don't have enemies? make some

Who is going to change the smoke alarm battery?

Spite

Food tastes good

Sunsets are awesome

Some people are worth being around

You might mess up the attempt and end up worse off than you are now

Religion might be right and you end up in the bad place

Id rather die for something bigger than me and my mental anguish if im gonna knowingly off myself.

Ive lived through too much shit to make the weakness of the day take me out.

But I'll go when I wanna go too. But it'll be me saying "my time here is done" not in pain but acceptance and peace. Not despair.

Can't let that shit win.

You can't piss off the haters if you're dead.

I think Albert Camus' Myth of Sisyphus addresses this somehow.

Because things will get better.

My partner and dog would be sad.

I don't have nearly enough credit card debt to annoy the cc companies when I die

My apartment will fine me if I don't bring the trash cans back inside before 9PM, so I gotta be alive for that.

Life is experienced only by those who live it. The thing that keeps me not going through with it, is literally FOMO. As much as life is filled with things that suck, and things that I hate, I know there is the very real possibility that something new will come along that I will have regretted not getting to experience.

When I remember the things that I have experienced since the time I tried to kill myself I'm high school, I am glad I didn't. I would've regretted not making the new friends I did, and meeting the love of my life, and all of the the great times I've had, even though the shitty times that drove me to the edge, still persisted.

When I remember the things that I have experienced since the time I tried to kill myself in college, I am glad I didn't. I would've seriously regretted missing out on the freedom of independent living, and the parties with friends, and precious memories I've made in that time.

When I remembered the time I tried to kill myself after loosing my 3rd job in a row, and hanging on the edge of poverty for just one too many times, I'm glad I didn't. I would of seriously regretted missing out on buying my first house, and never getting to meet my baby girls.

When I think now, that life is shit, and not worth continuing, I remember those past times and know that it was impossible to know what could've been ahead of me, and how glad I am I stuck around to find out. So I keep on struggling through, because I know that there's bound to be some unkown thing, at some unknown time, that I will definitely want to be around to see.

spite