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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
My dad genuinely thinks Google is the internet. Every time he gets a new device he what’s me to put “Google” on it.
What he really means is a web browser but to this day he refers to all web browsers as Google. We were in Curry’s and he actually asked the salesman “does it come with Google.”
I wish I had my camera in-hand because the look on his face was priceless.
Trying to get my elderly mother to understand the difference between wifi and mobile data. Maddening.
Dad calls me randomly one evening. He can't find the youtube app on his smart TV. I try to help him navigate it but over the phone communication isn't really working especially since things I assume anyone would know (like the home button on the remote) don't translate well to him. He gets pissed and tells me "why do you even work as a programmer what did you even learn in university?". Apparently I missed my Samsung smart TV UI classes.
If you can, get a photo of his remote and save it. (bonus if it's his actual remote with the worn down buttons or whatnot)
Draw a circle around the button (arrow pointing to it optional) and text the pic back of which button to push. Repeat as needed.
If you can get him to text you a photo of the TV screen - circle and repeat.
I have an older friend with a TV/remote that is close to ours, but slightly different. Having these reference photos helps with the "language barrier" and the minor differences in layout.
Since I started making it visual and texting photos, it makes it much easier. Because even I, with my CS degree, can stare at a screen (or grocery shelf), frustrated, and not see the very obvious blinking whatsit that I'm looking for.
We used to say, " if it was a snake it would have bit me" but snakes are also well known for blending in , so it makes sense that we don't see things until we see them, especially when we are stressed.
Its not the tech issues themselves but my dad always worried about anyone changing any settings on the family computer (even the screensaver) and he had the attitude that he had to do things himself. He's computer illiterate, can barely see to read and a slow 1 finger typist. Even him inputting a postal code into a Sat Nav takes so long, so many repetitions, it's truly painful. So imagine when things stop working. I'm not a tech person either, so I'm trying to figure out a solution while he's talking about some random computing issue he heard about on the radio decades ago and telling me not to change the settings and break the computer lol.
My mother once threatened to evict me (was still living with them) because I asked her to back up her important files for me to carry them over to the new office computer I had set up for her.
She flat out refused to even attempt it or answer any of my investigative questions. This woman had been using windows computers for work for over 20 years at this point, but the thought of opening an explorer window apparently terrified her so much we got into an actual shouting match over it.
God bless you
When I found out that my dad doesn't know what the backspace key does on the PC keyboard. His whole life he's only ever used the Del key and always positions the cursor to the left of text he wants to delete. He used to work at IBM for over 30 years and learned to program back in the day when computer code was printed on punch cards. But I'm pretty sure keyboards already had the backspace key back then.
My grandfather had directories full of young teens, even his desktop wallpaper. They were definitely over 18 but still... I never said a word, just acted normally.
Every time my grandma needs help with her phone I always have to go and delete like 10 apps because she just keeps installing random useless ad ridden crap. She has like 6 diferent weather apps. She keeps installing random fucking gps navigation map apps. You open them and boom immediately ads. They just don't learn.
Why does she download so many duplicate functionality apps? Has she told you why?
My cousin was way older than I so his kids were my age. He brought his laptop over because it was showing weird porn ads at very odd times. I usually charge a bottle of alcohol and then throw a big party with that alcohol because I was the go to guy for the neightborhood. Anyway, the porn he was watching was really intense and not at all what you think of as "normal" porn. So I told him everything I found and he said his 15 year old grandson borrowed it when ever he came over. I was genuinly scared of that kid from that moment on. Clown porn was the lighter side of what I saw.
Dad: "I don't have my wallpaper anymore on my desktop !"
Me: "Ok, what's in C:\User...\Pictures" ?
Dad: "I don't have C:, I juste have D:"
Me: "WTF ? You don't have a C:\Windows folder ?"
Dad: "No, I just have a D:\ drive. Windows is installed on D"
How th fuck did he managed to not have a C drive ????
At least he understands that windows is installed, and on that drive.
How th fuck did he managed to not have a C drive ???
It happens. You should have just told him to go to the D: drive if its the only one
They needed me to help them because the Flash drive "wasn't working". They ended up shoving it in backwards and completely destroying the port. I asked why they did it and they said it wouldn't go in.
That reminds me, a customer at a place I was working front desk for once managed to shove their money into a small gap between the cash slot and the outer case of a vending machine. I'm talking paper money and it was completely gone, so they really had to work to achieve this. Of course they got mad at me for being unable to open the case or get a technician to do it on a Sunday morning.
I had a boss who once told me that there are two things you should never force: love and machines. If you have to try that hard, you're doing it wrong.
I can feel my blood pressure rise as I read through this comment section.
Helping my octogenarian mom with her iPhone is the most painful experience. She often calls me about something that has "popped up" in some app that she's using. I tell her to just close it and she says "how?" I then say something like "just click the OK button ... or the Done or Close buttons, that will be some unknown color ... or click the X in the upper right or maybe the upper left corner ... or click "Done" or "Close" in the toolbar, on the left or right sides ... or maybe the thing has slid up from the bottom and you need to swipe down to get rid of it ... or maybe you need to click the Home tab on the app's bottom bar."
I've actually been an iOS mobile developer for 15 years now. Anybody who thinks there's any sort of consistent, intuitive design principles behind Apple products is insane.
Android is on board with that crap too. Software Buttons that don't always pop and gestures are trash.
But at least Android still has the option to enable the old button bar at the bottom of the screen, it has a back button that pretty much closes everything that opens up.
Pixel changes the navigation mode to gesture only by default. You can go and turn that back to three button mode and it is pretty successful, If you know it's there.
I find Samsung's one UI implementation to be dodgy when apps go full screen sometimes it doesn't like to stay on, sometimes when apps come out of autohide there's a race condition and the app will appear over the bar rendering it unselectable. That bugs been there for years. It's also irritating that the button positions on vanilla and one UI are backward of each other.
The gestures in Android do the same thing as the button bar, so even when I use gestures I always have a dedicated back gesture.
I cannot tell you how many times I've had to help family members and friends "fix the sound" on their computers because they somehow changed their default audio output device without knowing it. I really wish people would just check their audio settings when they have a problem with it, instead of calling me to help every time.
Clearing about 5 rows of taskbars from my mom's internet Explorer years and years ago. Finding out she was paying for McAfee recently.
Could be worse, my grandma paid for Avast and she was actually using the free version unknowingly.
AVAST VIRUS DATABASE HAS BEEN UPDATED
That bitch will forever haunt me.
My nephew wanted to play games on my computer while I was at work. He was arriving later so I wrote down all the steps on paper the way I had showed him before.
Mom calls upset hours later saying they can't get the game running. She gets flustered powering on the computer, refuses to take a picture of the screen while in a fit, and powers off everything without letting me even try. Good god. 😂
The silver lining is that he's a little older now and can do it on his own.
My parents: "You're a nerd, can you help with our computer?"
I reluctantly overlook how insulting they always are and help
Many months later
My parents: "Our computer isn't working right lately. It's probably your fault from the last time you were messing with it."
It's probably your fault from the last time you were messing with it.
"Ok, you better ask someone else then. Clearly I'll only make it worse."
You'll never prove them wrong by falling for the manipulation tactic.
People who are bad at understanding tech and logic coincidentally tend to be very competent at these kinds of tactics.
All of them
Not a specific incident so much as a running theme in logical inconsistency… What on God's green Earth possessed these people to think that I, the "nerd" of the family, having gone completely digital except where legally necessary since about the late 90s, would have the faintest idea how to fix a fucking printer?
The forgetting everything I took the time to explain even after “dumbing it down” to the simplest terms. Can’t blame them too much as it’s age related, but frustrating nonetheless.
Refusal to use a password manager. They write down the passwords plaintext in a physical pad. Not awful, all things considered, but then write down the password alphabetically without maintaining consistency in naming. Say it’s a password for a streaming service on a Sony TV. It might be under Sony, TV, or the name of the service; and all three titles might be entered in the pad because they couldn’t remember what they’d written it down under the first time. Then had to reset it and wrote it down under something else. So now you have passwords for TV, Sony, and Service, guess which one is right? Heaven help you if there’s more than one Sony TV in the house or something. At least the password managers go by website and a user created name so you have two chances of finding it.
When offering help over the phone they click or tap the wrong thing that leads to an incorrect page or menu, swearing they did it right, and being unable to locate the thing I’m telling them to look for after I led them step-by-step to the correct solution. This one’s pretty infuriating when many menus look the same and my questions about what they’re looking at only gets generic enough responses that I think they’re in the right place. It’s often only corrected when I ask them to take a pic with their phone and send it to me so I can figure out how they f’d up. I ended up installing remote desktop apps on their computers eventually so I could just do the work myself, quickly, with far less fuss.
I love it though