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Good thing we've got so many international allies and are known for being such a stable, reliable economic partner. Now, if you'll excuse me, I haven't read the news in two months and I need to catch up on current events.

Do not help us. This is what we deserve.

Let me see... since new years you have threatened to annex Greenland, had Musk call our finest astronaut removed, called our Prime Minister removed, recently Roger Stone called one of our conservative politicians a sick demented asshole on Twitter when said politician asked for the general secretary of NATO to not joke about Trump and Greenland and... oh yeah, Trump and Vance attacked and insulted our dear friend, President Zelenskyj on world wide TV.

So...... how about no? Oh, I'm sorry: no, thank you.

Ask for 50% mineral rights and a thank you.

Hilarious. The US reaching out to the people they've insulted, threatened or victimized in some way, shape or form and asking them for help. And when they get refused, they'll tell the American people that everyone is being so mean to them.

FUCK THAT. Let's see eggs go to $5/each. We need to face the consequences of our collective fucking idiot electoral choices.

Canada here. Our eggs are cheap.

You want em?

Take your trade war agression and shove it up your ass!

You want to take our sovereignty away?

…starve.

I would not send a single good egg until Jan 2029.

The fastest way to have a people turn on it's leaders is for the food supply to be threatened.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if Americans turned on their leaders?

The Norwegian government will offer eggs, and we will only ask for the state of New York or as we like to call it: Nye Jorvik. The citizens of Nye Jorvik will enjoy all the benefits from a stabile, functioning social democracy.

Citizen of the United States here. Don’t. Assume whatever this orange anal fistula offers to pay will in fact not be paid. Assume whatever agreement brokered will immediately be ignored or violated. Assume this pus filled clementine will still try to “take” Greenland.

Let this shithole 3rd world country burn. It asked for fascism in the form of egg prices, let them deal with their egg prices.

Denmark: Did you say "please" even once?

Air delivered eggs from another continent, surely they're going to be cheap. If only there were at least two neighboring countries that could be able to send them for cheaper...

The eggs aren't even that much more expensive to produce. The hit has only been about 2%. There's still plenty of eggs. And it's the same with getting free range eggs instead of battery/cage - the increase in production price is pretty small, really.

It comes down to the same thing: the market charging premiums. They charge more for free range because it's 'luxury'. They charge more for organic because it's 'lifestyle'. And they charge more for eggs during US strife because it's 'supply and demand'.

They have the supply. They also have an excuse, and nobody is regulating them. The country doesn't need to buy eggs en masse, it needs to regulate pricing.

Denmark, from who they want to steal Greenland. They are obviously terminally stupid in Washington.

Help? Help? What happened to wanting to be a proud independent country that don't need no allies.

Kneel down and beg.

I don't know if it helps anyone, but you don't need eggs to survive

everything except actually putting the companies responsible in check.

This is why we HAD allies. Had. To assist with the largesse we consume as Americans. You don’t get to swing your orange dick around at the world, offending and assaulting every ally, and then ask for help.

Trumpty Dumpty

"You will become part of the US."

two days later....

"Bro my egg prices are high, can you help a brotha out?"

Ask Canada… oh, wait!

WOMP WOMP WOMP, EH?

As a true American, don't help us with eggs, it'l hurt your country in the long run. Let us suffer so we can get our heads out of our asses and purge the nazis.

Yeah, good luck with that America after you've insulted and threatened every ally that would sell us eggs.

Dumbasses.

I thought the US didn’t need anything from anyone else? Isn’t that what you said?

This is a joke right? Something from the Onion? Why would any country help out Trump now?

So Trump can't get it under control. Got it.

I would love to see NATO countries (besides the US) band together and say:

”We will come together to support our great ally, so long as she saves herself. Upon the acceptance of President Trump's and Vice President Vance's resignation, we will provide the aid that our friend needs."

Trump could, in fact, be the hero here. He could walk away from the presidency with a win. For added measure, these countries could write lofty and wonderful articles about Trump's selflessness.

We know he won't.

Aside: I'm not saying Mike Johnson would make a good president. But let's take this one thing at a time.

Has America considered asking Panama for eggs? Or Gaza?

We use the word eggs in German the way yankies use nuts or balls. That said, yes, you can swallow our eggs, dear US government.

Oh now Trump wants allies?

Recognize the passive voice: "The US has reached out". They don't say Trump reached out or the Trump administration reached out.

Oh, so now the US has pivoted to strongman style diplomacy where you rattle your sabre and then ask for concessions? I've bought a fresh carton of eggs last week, Orange Felon and his tech bro boyfriend can have them projectile delivered straight to their stupid mugs.

Well, well, well... if it isn't the consequences of your own actions

Yah, we're going to need you to go fuck yourself.

No, fuck you.