this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

If 5 million USD can buy you a US citizenship, why can’t I sell mine for 5 million USD? I will gladly do so, and I bet I won’t be the only one.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Yeah, is there a sign up sheet?

[–] [email protected] 84 points 6 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 days ago

Which wasn't even "paid out"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 days ago

An egg. My kingdom for an egg!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Worth more than $100 these days.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago

Guaranteed sans Bird Flu!™️®️

[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 days ago (3 children)

a $100 certificate they could use to purchase a new Bluetooth speaker or couple Keurig coffee makers,” said Pew pollster Dana Felder, who

I do not for one minute believe that $100 is buying a couple of Keurig coffee makers, unless those guys are going ridiculously hard on the razor-and-blades model.

checks Amazon

Yeah. The least-expensive Keurig coffee maker on Amazon is $60:

https://www.amazon.com/Keurig-K-Mini-Single-Serve-Coffee/dp/B07GV2S1GS

It looks like they go up to $126.

Maybe a couple of Mr. Coffee coffeemakers.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 days ago (1 children)

This article was first posted in 2021 and has not been edited since. Inflation has been considerable in that time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Remember when things were....affordable?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Not Keurig coffee makers.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

I do not for one minute believe that $100 is buying a couple of Keurig coffee makers

It's not, these are the promises, like cheap eggs, affordable groceries and $1.98/gallon gasoline.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

My ex and I scored 5 at the thrift for $5 each. I'll never understand paying retail, and especially for coffee makers. I did pay "full" price for my Amazon French press. Whatever.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 days ago

Haha! You don't have a democracy to swap!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago

The Americans already did, for the promise of cheap eggs and an ethnostate.

[–] ILikeBoobies 4 points 4 days ago

Didn’t this already happen with Elon “paying” people to vote Trump?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 days ago

Bait was never this believable before.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Democracy? Lol. Can we trade in our plutocracy for anything?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

how does a dictatorship and a side of day old fries sound?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago

Apparently that sounds fucking fantastic to the average voter.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 days ago

I ate this onion quite hard

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

Good thing we live in a democratic republic that would prevent mob rule so this could never happen

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago

I mean, this is more or less what happened in November.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I mean, $100 bucks at Best Buy is like $35 at actual market prices. I'd need at least a $200 gift card.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago

That's maybe two 1.5m HDMI cables.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago

They already did, and the gift card has also been spent...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

Still waiting on my gift card...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

the avg American wouldn't give a fuck, at all. they would shout "gimme that!" not even knowing what they were trading away, thinking it's "just some political bullshit".

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Im totally going to egg some random guys house in the suburbs because of this news article, no wait eggs and beer… fine I’ll just get a forty ounce and the eggs

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago

Sure... plus tax.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

I mean I'd glad trade nothing for a gift card. Idiots.

[–] melsaskca 2 points 5 days ago

I thought it would've been a Wal-Mart gift card.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Strange closing paragraph.

the highest they’d been since 1996 when 80% of Americans stated that they would live under an Islamic theocracy in exchange for a $50 gift card to Radio Shack.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 days ago

not loving money more than life is so un-american