To state the obvious: predominantly because they are unaware that their experience of the world is not universal, but in some cases simply because it inconveniences them.
this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2025
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But that's what bugs me a bit. Doesn't everyone experience the world in their own unique way and doesn't everyone have to adapt their unique self to society's norms to some degree?
For some people it is easier and for some people they view it as a "I had to do it so you should too."
That's true, yes, but I suspect the variation across NTs is not as wide as the gap between NTs and neurodivergents.
As an analogy, everybody's colour vision is slightly different. But most people are similar enough that they agree on colour, whereas somebody who is colour blind has a distinctly different experience. Most people don't even think twice that what they are seeing is not what another person might be seeing (and without special software it's basically impossible for people with regular vision to gain an understanding of what a colourblind person might see, whilst a colourblind person can only get an idea of what regular colour vision looks like if they have the right colourblindness profile for a pair specialised filtering glasses to work).
I kinda fell like Gen Z gets this right, or more right more often than the others. My Gen Z son is autistic (super high functioning, until the crash comes and he's out for a day or more).
But his friends all understand, and many of them, although NT, identify with some of the experiences atypical people have. And I've seen this with his friends in the States as well. Nobody gives him shit, everyone is accommodating without making a big deal out of it.
Just seems like Gen Z will get this one right, like they have many things. Older Gen Xer posting, just for reference. Like a lot of things, Xers just didn't know better until someone showed us.
It took a few decades, but the dam seems to be breaking well. Mental health is now no more taboo than physical health (at least for the newer generations, in many places). Accommodating your autistic friend, when they burn out a bit, is no more of an issue than accommodating your friend with a busted knee, or the one working on their weight.
Watching the younger generations roll with what would be horrifying to older generations makes me feel better about the future.
I think that’s because they’re actually aware of it. Most older people actually have no idea what autism is or means. So many people think autism means non functional, can’t speak, can’t do anything independently when in reality so many autistic people are literally just normal ass people in nearly every way. So if you think autism looks one way you never realize you need to make accommodations for all the people who experience autism in a different way, you never even realize they have autism and need accommodations to begin with. Unless you tell someone you’re autistic and what accommodations you need they can’t know
They’re not more adaptable to change. They’re frequently baffled by us. They don’t get why we can have very deep and very specific interests in things, for example.
I think it boils down to a lack of understanding due to them never having to put effort into things like socializing
This false binary is the problem. Everyone is on a spectrum of neuro-diversity. Some people's diversity is deemed "unacceptable" arbitrarily.
"Everyone's a little autistic!"
Everyone I know, but that's selection bias.
this is the correct answer, as much as people here don't like it. the only reason neurotypical people are typical is that they're fit as workers in a class society. everyone has limitations, including neurotypicals, but our limitations make us misfit to a class society. we're not as able to output work consistently 40h per week and do what we're told without being told it
I'll rephrase as this seems to have triggered people:
Everyone is on a spectrum of varying ability.
Not true. This is why I dislike the "neurodiversity" trend. Just say autistic, ADHD, OCD, etc as they are without trying to link them with an umbrella term, it leads to the false idea that they are not disabilities/illnesses and even that everyone has something. Most people are neurotypical
they're not illnesses and that's not even a controversial statement. no mental health professional worth their salt would call autism or adhd illnesses
Yeah, stick to arguing semantics on 1/50 words instead of my point
it's a really important misconception, though. disabilities and disorders are not illnesses and should never be treated as such
Exactly! Goes for other conditions as well. One symptom of having a broken arm is sucking at tennis. I suck at tennis, so in a way, my arm is a little broken. And I can't see what's behind me, so I'm essentially 50% blind.
A lot of them do once they know you’re autistic and what accommodations you need. They’re NT, not psychic
And if they were psychic, they wouldn't be neurotypical.
That's a great point! I'm going to go ahead and assume you mean something different than what you just said. /s
What sort of accommodations would you like?
- not having bright as hell lights and loud music everywhere
- not being stared at like a fucking zoo animal or some kind of spectacle when I go out in public
- not being told to "get out of my comfort zone" when that 'cOmFoRt ZoNe' is actually my "not in physical or mental pain-zone"
- people not throwing the r-slur around like it has no history or meaning behind it at all
- not being expected to be up and about so fucking early
- not being treated like I'm either some innate genius or completely brainless
Just people not being inconsiderate, ableist pieces of shit in general.
Someone could proof-read and edit forms so all the questions can be answered truthfully and they are possible to fill in.
Yes, can the single-selection multiple choices please be mutually exclusive, thank you for your attention to this matter
Neurotypicals often feel like they're not being listened to if a person doesn't make eye-contact. I sympathise with their anxiety, but I would like them to understand that if I am forcing myself to make eye contact (or to appear like I am), that takes me so much focus that I'm less likely to be following what they're saying.
This one is more of an ADHD thing for me, but a similar one is that I would like them to understand that if I am fiddling with something with my hands, this is actually an indicator that I am listening to them (for me, tasks like crochet, embroidery or origami are things that I do to occupy my hands and the part of my brain that gets distracted).
Those are a couple of examples, but more broadly, I'd just like for neurotypical people to understand that their experiences aren't universal. Furthermore, I believe that clinging to a sense of normality is harmful because of how it flattens the variety of human experience — even if we're comparing neurotypicals to neurotypicals: "Normal" is a box that I have caused myself severe harm trying to fit in, but I see that same kind of harm being caused to neurotypicals who can contort themselves enough to force themselves into the box. Just because someone can fit in doesn't mean they will be comfortable or happy in that mould — it sometimes makes me glad that I'm autistic, because I get to explore who I am beyond that box of prescriptive normality.
Neurotypicals often feel like they're not being listened to if a person doesn't make eye-contact.
I’ve gave up with even trying this anymore, if they feel it’s rude then they can deal with me asking to repeat themselves which they never want to.
That's the approach I tend to take nowadays too. I sometimes get some flack for it, but I'm not going to set myself on fire to keep others warm; burnout almost killed me, so allowing myself space to be autistic isn't just self care — it's survival
I was watching something from dropout tv, and someone at one point was put on the spot, got overwhelmed, and said “nobody observe me,” which has stuck with me. I wish there were some signal you could display in public to not receive attention from people. Nothing will tip me from overstimulated to tears or tears to blubbering faster than people asking me if I’m okay. I totally get that when people see an adult woman on the verge of tears in public, they want to do something about it if they can, but I wish they wouldn’t.
Do you remember what what show and episode this was?
I feel this so much. Just leave me alone until I can calm myself down enough to function like normal. But no, clearly when I was screaming at my parents to just leave me alone, that was, for some reason, the exact opposite of what they thought they need to do.
I believe it was a more recent (last 2-3 seasons) episode of either game changer or make some noise, but I don’t remember much else that’s useful. I know it was a woman/femme comedian, and think it was either Vic Michaelis, Izzy Roland, Erika Ishii, or a one-time/infrequent contestant for either of those shows.
Oh! Ok cool. I'm waiting to to watch the newest season of game changer with my partner. thanks for the info.
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Because they are full of shit.
When you're 6'4" and trying to fit in a plane seat. Like that, but with everything.
They're adaptable when pressured. They just don't care about others.