this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2025
574 points (95.3% liked)

Autism

7863 readers
774 users here now

A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.

Community:

Values

  • Acceptance
  • Openness
  • Understanding
  • Equality
  • Reciprocity
  • Mutuality
  • Love

Rules

  1. No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
  2. Posts must be related to autism, off-topic discussions happen in the matrix chat.
  3. Your posts must include a text body. It doesn't have to be long, it just needs to be descriptive.
  4. Do not request donations.
  5. Be respectful in discussions.
  6. Do not post misinformation.
  7. Mark NSFW content accordingly.
  8. Do not promote Autism Speaks.
  9. General Lemmy World rules.

Encouraged

  1. Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
  2. Funny memes.
  3. Respectful venting.
  4. Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
  5. Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
  6. Questions regarding autism.
  7. Questions on confusing situations.
  8. Seeking and sharing support.
  9. Engagement in our community's values.
  10. Expressing a difference of opinion without directly insulting another user.
  11. Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it. Chat Room
  • We have a chat room! Want to engage in dialogue? Come join us at the community's Matrix Chat.

.

Helpful Resources

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
all 42 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 1 points 39 minutes ago

They're adaptable when pressured. They just don't care about others.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 hour ago

Because they are full of shit.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

A lot of them do once they know you’re autistic and what accommodations you need. They’re NT, not psychic

[–] [email protected] 4 points 13 hours ago

And if they were psychic, they wouldn't be neurotypical.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I kinda fell like Gen Z gets this right, or more right more often than the others. My Gen Z son is autistic (super high functioning, until the crash comes and he's out for a day or more).

But his friends all understand, and many of them, although NT, identify with some of the experiences atypical people have. And I've seen this with his friends in the States as well. Nobody gives him shit, everyone is accommodating without making a big deal out of it.

Just seems like Gen Z will get this one right, like they have many things. Older Gen Xer posting, just for reference. Like a lot of things, Xers just didn't know better until someone showed us.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

I think that’s because they’re actually aware of it. Most older people actually have no idea what autism is or means. So many people think autism means non functional, can’t speak, can’t do anything independently when in reality so many autistic people are literally just normal ass people in nearly every way. So if you think autism looks one way you never realize you need to make accommodations for all the people who experience autism in a different way, you never even realize they have autism and need accommodations to begin with. Unless you tell someone you’re autistic and what accommodations you need they can’t know

[–] [email protected] 19 points 22 hours ago

It took a few decades, but the dam seems to be breaking well. Mental health is now no more taboo than physical health (at least for the newer generations, in many places). Accommodating your autistic friend, when they burn out a bit, is no more of an issue than accommodating your friend with a busted knee, or the one working on their weight.

Watching the younger generations roll with what would be horrifying to older generations makes me feel better about the future.

[–] [email protected] 85 points 1 day ago (1 children)

To state the obvious: predominantly because they are unaware that their experience of the world is not universal, but in some cases simply because it inconveniences them.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

But that's what bugs me a bit. Doesn't everyone experience the world in their own unique way and doesn't everyone have to adapt their unique self to society's norms to some degree?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago

For some people it is easier and for some people they view it as a "I had to do it so you should too."

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

That's true, yes, but I suspect the variation across NTs is not as wide as the gap between NTs and neurodivergents.

As an analogy, everybody's colour vision is slightly different. But most people are similar enough that they agree on colour, whereas somebody who is colour blind has a distinctly different experience. Most people don't even think twice that what they are seeing is not what another person might be seeing (and without special software it's basically impossible for people with regular vision to gain an understanding of what a colourblind person might see, whilst a colourblind person can only get an idea of what regular colour vision looks like if they have the right colourblindness profile for a pair specialised filtering glasses to work).

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They’re not more adaptable to change. They’re frequently baffled by us. They don’t get why we can have very deep and very specific interests in things, for example.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 15 hours ago

I think it boils down to a lack of understanding due to them never having to put effort into things like socializing

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 day ago (4 children)

This false binary is the problem. Everyone is on a spectrum of neuro-diversity. Some people's diversity is deemed "unacceptable" arbitrarily.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)

this is the correct answer, as much as people here don't like it. the only reason neurotypical people are typical is that they're fit as workers in a class society. everyone has limitations, including neurotypicals, but our limitations make us misfit to a class society. we're not as able to output work consistently 40h per week and do what we're told without being told it

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

I'll rephrase as this seems to have triggered people:

Everyone is on a spectrum of varying ability.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Not true. This is why I dislike the "neurodiversity" trend. Just say autistic, ADHD, OCD, etc as they are without trying to link them with an umbrella term, it leads to the false idea that they are not disabilities/illnesses and even that everyone has something. Most people are neurotypical

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

they're not illnesses and that's not even a controversial statement. no mental health professional worth their salt would call autism or adhd illnesses

[–] [email protected] 1 points 44 minutes ago

Yeah, stick to arguing semantics on 1/50 words instead of my point

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

"Everyone's a little autistic!"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

Everyone I know, but that's selection bias.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 15 hours ago

Exactly! Goes for other conditions as well. One symptom of having a broken arm is sucking at tennis. I suck at tennis, so in a way, my arm is a little broken. And I can't see what's behind me, so I'm essentially 50% blind.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

When you're 6'4" and trying to fit in a plane seat. Like that, but with everything.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago (5 children)

What sort of accommodations would you like?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 15 hours ago

An instruction manual for life

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)
  • not having bright as hell lights and loud music everywhere
  • not being stared at like a fucking zoo animal or some kind of spectacle when I go out in public
  • not being told to "get out of my comfort zone" when that 'cOmFoRt ZoNe' is actually my "not in physical or mental pain-zone"
  • people not throwing the r-slur around like it has no history or meaning behind it at all
  • not being expected to be up and about so fucking early
  • not being treated like I'm either some innate genius or completely brainless

Just people not being inconsiderate, ableist pieces of shit in general.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Someone could proof-read and edit forms so all the questions can be answered truthfully and they are possible to fill in.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Yes, can the single-selection multiple choices please be mutually exclusive, thank you for your attention to this matter

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Neurotypicals often feel like they're not being listened to if a person doesn't make eye-contact. I sympathise with their anxiety, but I would like them to understand that if I am forcing myself to make eye contact (or to appear like I am), that takes me so much focus that I'm less likely to be following what they're saying.

This one is more of an ADHD thing for me, but a similar one is that I would like them to understand that if I am fiddling with something with my hands, this is actually an indicator that I am listening to them (for me, tasks like crochet, embroidery or origami are things that I do to occupy my hands and the part of my brain that gets distracted).

Those are a couple of examples, but more broadly, I'd just like for neurotypical people to understand that their experiences aren't universal. Furthermore, I believe that clinging to a sense of normality is harmful because of how it flattens the variety of human experience — even if we're comparing neurotypicals to neurotypicals: "Normal" is a box that I have caused myself severe harm trying to fit in, but I see that same kind of harm being caused to neurotypicals who can contort themselves enough to force themselves into the box. Just because someone can fit in doesn't mean they will be comfortable or happy in that mould — it sometimes makes me glad that I'm autistic, because I get to explore who I am beyond that box of prescriptive normality.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Neurotypicals often feel like they're not being listened to if a person doesn't make eye-contact.

I’ve gave up with even trying this anymore, if they feel it’s rude then they can deal with me asking to repeat themselves which they never want to.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 17 hours ago

That's the approach I tend to take nowadays too. I sometimes get some flack for it, but I'm not going to set myself on fire to keep others warm; burnout almost killed me, so allowing myself space to be autistic isn't just self care — it's survival

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I was watching something from dropout tv, and someone at one point was put on the spot, got overwhelmed, and said “nobody observe me,” which has stuck with me. I wish there were some signal you could display in public to not receive attention from people. Nothing will tip me from overstimulated to tears or tears to blubbering faster than people asking me if I’m okay. I totally get that when people see an adult woman on the verge of tears in public, they want to do something about it if they can, but I wish they wouldn’t.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Do you remember what what show and episode this was?

I feel this so much. Just leave me alone until I can calm myself down enough to function like normal. But no, clearly when I was screaming at my parents to just leave me alone, that was, for some reason, the exact opposite of what they thought they need to do.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I believe it was a more recent (last 2-3 seasons) episode of either game changer or make some noise, but I don’t remember much else that’s useful. I know it was a woman/femme comedian, and think it was either Vic Michaelis, Izzy Roland, Erika Ishii, or a one-time/infrequent contestant for either of those shows.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 20 hours ago

Oh! Ok cool. I'm waiting to to watch the newest season of game changer with my partner. thanks for the info.