Always liked this one:
But this one is good too...
this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2024
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Not complaining or calling it out but I’ve seen the words in the 2nd applied to sooo many different comics. I think that’s actually kind of great that it’s so flexible 😆
I think it's originally from Red vs Blue
In "who left their bag here"'s case, the gender of the person is not known because their identity isn't known, so it doesn't feel strange to use (for us old farts). It can take some effort to retrain your brain to use "they" when it's a single person whose identity is known (speaking from experience as a Gen Xer).
Or the person might just be a transphobic asshole. But I like to think that most just need to educate themselves on using pronouns correctly.
One thing that might help it feel less strange is realising that you already use a grammatically plural pronoun to refer to individuals all the time: the word "you". It's always "you are tall", not "you is tall", same as "we" or "they" instead of "he" or "she". This is because it was historically plural, and "thou" was the singular. Over time we started using the plural to be more polite, and then eventually always using it.
"Thou is tall" sounds weird though.
you already use a grammatically plural pronoun to refer to individuals all the time: the word "you". It's always "you are tall",
This made my brain short circuit lol. Can't believe I never noticed.
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I’m joining in the “this blew my mind” sentiment and just want to say thanks for sharing this tidbit of info.
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Yeah it can take a while to get used to, especially if you knew the person before they changed their pronouns. But the point is it isnt incompatible with our language at all. I think the last panel would be better if it showed the (transphobic) guy and another person and he says "this activist said the craziest thing to me today" and then the second person says "oh yeah, what'd THEY say" because then the 'they' pronoun would be directly referring to the person who wanted to be called 'they' in the first place.
I mean, I'm mid 30s, and it took me a long time to internalize "he, she, they" rather than "he, she, it". It's just how they were used when I was growing up. Fortunately, I've had the opportunity to learn and grow. At the end of the day, just speak with respect and make sure you listen as much as, or more than, speak.
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Oh yeah it took me a while to default to 'they' instead of 'he/she' lol
Sometimes I still mess up and assume, and sometimes I say 'they' when I don't mean to also. Brains are weird.
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I remember as a kid the teachers were desperately trying to make “he or she” a thing and told us the singular “they” would never be acceptable.
I’m personally glad that movement failed.
I learned English at school and the first time I encountered singular they was when my teacher explained it to us. Sometimes non native speakers are less prescriptive than native speakers
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Someone correct me, but "you" was originally plural. The correct way to address a singular person is "thou".
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Roses are red Violets are blue The singular "they" Pre-dates singular "you"
Thou shalt use proper pronouns and not be lazy recycling plural pronouns in the singular. What next, are thou planing to use a singular "we" like inbred royalty?
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When I started interacting with a non-binary person more often, the only reflexive pronoun that came to mind was ‘themselves.’ As in, “They bought themselves a pair of socks for their birthday.” It felt a bit awkward since I couldn’t shake the plural association in my head, but I still used it to be respectful.
Then I remembered that the word ‘themself’ exists and I felt stupid.
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If you're introducing yourself to me, I only need your name.
So you're going to refer to John by John's name exclusively? Sounds a bit awkward, but okay.
I'm tired of calling John, John, every time I refer to Join, but I wasn't paying attention to John's pronouns, so now I'm stuck until I have a chance to ask John, when I next see John.
Source: I've done this, actually. I hope I was more subtle.
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Calling people what they ask to be called just doesn't have to be this difficult.
And yes, his royal lordship Starn, the majestic, that goes for you, too. It's fine. We're cool with your chosen name. And I admit, the opera cape absolutely works for you.
And I don't need to know what genitalia most other people are rocking. That's none of my business, unless we're really into each-other, in a very intimate way.
It takes all my willpower not to be get pretty inappropriate every time a government form asks my birth sex:
"Oh! We just met at this office of motor vehicles...I didn't know you felt that way about me! This is so much to process. I admit there's a mutual attraction. Of course I feel it too. I'm delighted that you had a special form made up to ask! I'm flattered! Want to grab dinner, and see where this goes?"
Calling people what they ask to be called just doesn't have to be this difficult.
We in fact do it all the time. It's just people have gotten used to using names. But it's not like you were born with a Dave chromosome. Your parents decided to call you Dave, so in the end it's also just a made up name/sound.
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I get irked when someone says “he or she,” especially repeatedly, because the singular “they” is so much easier to hear and read.
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In Finnish language there are no gender specific pronouns only gender neutral one hän/hänen.
They/them still sounds weird to use even if I know it can be used to refer single person. When talking or writing fast I'll still often accidentally default to using he/him even for females which I then have to correct.
In my language everything little word is gendered so everything you talk about is bound by it. It's extremely confusing thinking or understanding how to describe something in terms "non-gendered".
I really am supportive of all the changes needed in the world, but the use of "they" is very confusing in a singular form for people who don't have it as first language and concepts and everything was learned by mapping stuff to other language, so please invent some word for it and go with it. It's already strange and always difficult understanding the usage of "you" in singular vs plural and formal or not speech.
I really wish my language also had gender neutral pronouns, it just sound so much simpler and better.
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