this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2025
1119 points (97.8% liked)

Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

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[–] [email protected] 210 points 3 weeks ago (9 children)

Elon is a 14 year old trapped in a man's body isn't he? He wished to be big.

[–] [email protected] 103 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

You ever see the trench coat pic of him? It's like a fedora short of being a full on "that guy" stereotype.

[–] [email protected] 79 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It’s giving the same vibes as this:

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

This picture at least has better lighting and framing. Which is impressive, given that it seems to be a poorly propped up selfie with flash on.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

The composition, the pose - this is a masterpiece!

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Look, when I was a kid I had some cringe taste. I'm sure many of us did. He looks a bit old for the teenage cringe era here, though.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 weeks ago

And a mall ninja sword

[–] [email protected] 64 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Most rich people are, especially if they grew up wealthy. They never had to face any consequences or handle real responsibility, and it shows.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

They also didn't have to develop the leadership skills that would make people want to follow them without the promise of rewards or punishment - In the words of kids nowadays, they have a permanent aura debuff.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

He's JP from Grandma's Boy

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[–] [email protected] 125 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Did he just admit to murder? I’m pretty sure that’s an admission of murder, and he intends to murder again.

[–] [email protected] 111 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Sounds like terrorism to me

[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

It's only terrorism if he kills himself.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago

I'd call that a win for society

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Seems like one of the bad immigrants

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Well, of course. He's from apartheid Africa

[–] [email protected] 93 points 3 weeks ago

Remember the olden days? When you would laugh at such a (then) blog post and immediately know that that user had been hacked, because there was no way that guy would say something like this?

Pepperidge Farms remembers.

[–] [email protected] 85 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

He sounds like those 14 YOs on Reddit.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 weeks ago

He basically is a 14 year old on reddit

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

energy drink

they sell ketamine in beverage form now?

[–] [email protected] 72 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (4 children)

I mean, I hate musk as much as everyone here, but it's deceptive trying to pass a one-year-old tweet as relevant to current events...

If you check the context, elon was goofing around , clearly not taking himself seriously, replying to a tweet of a photo of him holding a katana: https://x.com/elonmusk/status/1726989224073896365

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)

Some of us think its weird to post this shit in any context.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago

They also removed the date. It's quite intentionally misleading, it's so gross.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago
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[–] [email protected] 68 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

In other words, President Musk is confessing that he had killed, and buried people already and he's not afraid of continuing to do so? I'm my eyes, that's a terrorist. I'm scared.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I mean... the guy's (poorly) quoting movies and shit these days. "Take a big step back and fuck your own face" is literally Les Grossman from Tropic Thunder, verbatim.

He doesn't even have original thoughts. This is some Ruroni Kenshin shit, here.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You silly, a "terrorist" is a poor person. Musk is rich so he can't be one!

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

I call for an investigation to find this pile of bodies.

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

He could pay full-time coolness coaches to teach him how to be cool and it still wouldn't work.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

coolness is all about being authentically you. you can't be cool and trying to act cool at the same time. you can only be cool by cultivating within yourself the type of friend you'd want to hang out with. the world's richest dickhead, meanwhile, has not cultivated within himself anything worthy of being friends with. he is purely superficial, not at all authentic. he's a sequence of memes brought to life meant to make you think he's part of your culture when he isn't. interactions with him rob you of the genuine interactions you could be having with people around you, people with real thoughts and real feelings. not just some dumb amalgamation of crufty memes the rest of us moved on from.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

and you know, running a major business at an executive level just isn't very cool. Oh great you directed a team to run an extensive RFP of manufacturing materials to see if panama or the horn of africa is cheaper when shipping full containers and then you looked at the report and picked the lower number, before staying up until 4am to try and impress a 53 year old guy from China so he'd give you a 2% discount on warehouse space. So fucking cool my dude, let me write a quick rap about it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

Well, that and anyone who pays even a little bit of attention knows that he’s really fucking bad being a CEO, too. Money and ownership makes it really easy to cover up being an utter failure because you can pay smarter people to do your work for you and they can’t even talk back because you’ll fire them in a temper tantrum.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 weeks ago

This sounds like those tweets from Andrew Tate about when he was fighting dream ghosts from jail.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 weeks ago

New copypasta just dropped

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Elon, you backed out of a charity fight with Zuckerberg, because your mum told you that you're not allowed to fight, shut the fuck up.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago

For how long did he study the blade?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago

Bro, save some cringe for the rest of us

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago

"the likes of which you cannot comprehend" was really painful too. he's trying so hard to be intimidating to compensate for the fact that he's built like a walrus with genetic defects and looks like a troglodyte. we all saw you jump around like a dipshit on stage and become the first person in history to fuck up the USA chant.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

I was just thinking this is from r/im14andthisisdeep.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

Can someone just fuck Elon Musk and tell him that he's their little pog champ?

Yeah... no I wouldn't do it either.

Sorry it's just, there's gotta be some way for him to get validation without rubbing his tiny penis in everyone's face.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

Is he trained in gorilla warfare?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

Oh shit, looks like Elon got to go to the mall to "train" with the swords at gamestop, and now he's all cocky.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

I guess he's not wrong if the working class are his enemies

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

If he slashes social spending, he can choose a grave for himself in the same breath.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

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