Shark'll just eat you.
A dolphin will drown you and then fuck your corpse.
this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2025
555 points (99.5% liked)
memes
13322 readers
3830 users here now
Community rules
1. Be civil
No trolling, bigotry or other insulting / annoying behaviour
2. No politics
This is non-politics community. For political memes please go to [email protected]
3. No recent reposts
Check for reposts when posting a meme, you can only repost after 1 month
4. No bots
No bots without the express approval of the mods or the admins
5. No Spam/Ads
No advertisements or spam. This is an instance rule and the only way to live.
A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
Sister communities
- [email protected] : Star Trek memes, chat and shitposts
- [email protected] : Lemmy Shitposts, anything and everything goes.
- [email protected] : Linux themed memes
- [email protected] : for those who love comic stories.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Sharks result in about 8 human fatalities per year.
Humans result in about 100 Million shark fatalities per year.
Suddenly the misrepresentation starts to make sense.
Animals don't have the same moral framework as humans, and their actions are often driven by instinct or curiosity rather than a concept of morality. If we can somehow prove that dolphins have a concept of morality and decide to act upon what they consider immoral, then I suppose that some could be considered malicious/evil. Given their cerebral volume, I believe dolphins have the cognitive capacity for this, but I'm not aware of research that proves it. If anyone has any scientific journals on the topic, that would be an informative read.
If they do in fact have a moral compass, that leans into a wider topic: absolute versus relative morality.
What they have in common is that they're both extremely smooth
Orcas are the biggest of the dolphins, and they are nightmare fuel for anything they decide is food.
Are you a great white shark that just smelled an orca? Better nope out to the other side of the planet before the orca eats your liver.
Are you a seal just swimming along? Oops, an orca just yeeted you 30 ft into the air with a tail slap, and is going to eat your stunned ass when you land.
Are you a smart seal who thinks they're safe on the ice? Nope. Orcas will break up the ice and knock you off using waves.
Are you a grown ass moose casually going for a swim without a worry in the world? Forgot about one of your only natural predators. Now you've been eaten by an orca.
There's a reason they're called killer whales!
But they're not whales...
Yes, they are. Dolphins are a type of whale (And orcas are a type of dolphin).
Well, that's cheating!
Shut up simian. Eat a banana or something.
Yeah, vegetables are healthy.
Sure they are now continue eating the bananas, you definitely can't get radiation poisoning from them.
They are. But are jackdaws crows?
Is a hot dog a sandwich?
Only one of these creatures has "decapitated a fish to use as a Fleshlight" on their resume.
They only do that when they don't have a woman scientist to jerk them off.
How did y- oh, you're talking about the dolphin. Yes. There dolphin did that 👀
How do they do it? Asking for a ~~friend~~ dolphin
Story time. A couple years ago, we were sailing off the US east coast around South Carolina, and as you do in that situation, we were trailing a fishing line behind the boat in hopes of catching something. Suddenly, we were surrounded by dolphins giving us a show, jumping in the waves, playing around the bow, all that jazz. The kids were delighted, we were taking pictures and videos and generally enjoying ourselves when we noticed some splashing a little distance behind the boat. We pulled up the fishing line only to find that the lure and tackle were missing. Looks like the sneaky fuckers were distracting us while they stole our dinner!
Do you think they knew it was your fish and not just fish that were in the ocean? Not sure they can make that connection.
If they didn’t know they wouldn’t have said “so long and thanks for all the fish”
If they didn't understand the connection between the fish and the fishers then they wouldn't have sent over a distraction.
That's my point, that it was not meant as a distraction. They were just having fun like they are know to do and eating fish like they are known to do.
Dolphins would fuck your family dude, those things are godless
This reminds me of the dolphin jokes that Lower Decks got away with in almost every season. Dolphins + Universal Translator = Instant workplace harassment.
They need Jeeezus!
OMG. Wait. If we ever do try to figure out how to translate their language...
Someone is going to actually try to teach them Christianity. I guarantee it. It's inevitable.
Mark my words, the moment dolphins become christian they'll start a crusade and I don't want to be around for that
There's an interesting fate I would have never seen coming,...burned at the stake in the name of Dolphin Jesus.
If it is true that man was made in God's image then we are ungodly creatures in the eyes of devout Christian dolphins
Feel like they have ATHF Hand Banana energy.
"What do you think he means by that? 'Tonight, you'? Like it's some kinda threat?"
I grew up being taught that dolphins are like dogs that swim and orcas are dangerous.
Turns out orcas love humans and refuse to attack us unless we are being flaming assholes and dolphins are just born evil.
Orcas are dolphins, though. Do you mean bottlenose dolphins specifically?
Dolphins are assholes.
Huffing Pufferfish and taping seals.
Also, sharks side eye and look very cuddly :3
Media media
Media media
so long and thanks for all the fish