I would have just gone with the obvious answer: telepathic will
this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2025
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Guys I got it.
I want a Green Lantern ring.
ring flys away looking for a worthy holder
You should ask for the OG green lantern ring, just magic
As an engineer of sorts, this is every conversation that I have with clients, but comic lady answers waaaaaaaaaay better than most people lol.
Genie: What kind of bird?
Clients: I saw a very pretty bird once, I think it was in Europe. It had feathers and part of it was black.
Genie:.... Right.
This is why we can't have nice things
Wings? Nah, if I can't fly like Goku I don't want to fly at all.
dunno. inflating like a pufferfish and becoming a dirigible is cool too. i could go for that.
The genie grants your wish. You inflate via your own flatus. When you land, you have to release a fart big enough to buoyantly lift an entire human body.
Aww he gets me
Thank you for that visual. I never realized the world needed Zeppelin Man.
As long as you don't become Hindenburg Man
So like, did you know if you jar farts you can still make blue darts with em
I'm sure you mean grown up DBZ Goku, but I would 100% take a flying nimbus and putter around the skies on my little cloud buddy. Just remember to pack a parachute!
Fine. You get superhero-style flight. But just to be a dick, the genie makes it so you can only fly feet first.
Where's the downside ?
Up
Not picking telepathic will is the dumbest shit I've ever seen.
other peoples thoughts and goals bleed into your own without filter
given this genie's thoroughness your brain would have to be 100x as heavy
Look, the 800lb brain man is flying!
Elder brain entered the chat
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Honestly, based genie. Instead of fucking you over by twisting your wish into something negative, he fucks you over by spending time on small details. At least the latter will likely result in something you actually want, whereas the former will probably suck.
These aren't small details, they are crucial details.
Probably an autistic genie. It's important to get the details right!
After all that I still get brittle bone disease!?!
What? You said you wanted your Bones less dense, do you know how much bone I had to remove to let you fly with hummingbird wings?
Can't be worse than boneitis.
Ah boneitis, my only regret
What's the opposite of a monkey's paw?
birds tail
He's a smart one. Upselling body-shrinking or reduced bone density and increased metabolism.
That's 3 wishes.
The original terms of the wish requested the ability to fly, not just wings. These are part and parcel to being able to fly with wings. Ergo, only one wish.
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He could have claimed so, but he's not a jackass genie.
I would have just taken telepathic will so that it just ends there.
ok well moving an object still requires energy, so you're gonna need the increased metabolism perk. We'll have to increase blood flow to the brain, oh and it'll need to be increased in mass a lot...how do you feel about a tall head?
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You're the second person to use 'telepathic will' in these comments and both times are vague as to what that means.
Telekinesis that I can control at will.
Ok, so 'telepathic will' more or less means that you're projecting your will into someone's mind. Telekinesis at will is a very different thing, and it implies at will (with the mind without physical touch).
Just my two cents, it confused me - is all.
Sure, but what if telepathic powers somehow affect your brain chemistry or morphology? Aside, Would flying be like manipulating gravity or lifting yourself up with an "invisible hand"?
The gravity manipulation is much better if they are handing out options.
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The laws of physics are a bitch.
That's my kind of genie. I wonder if he'd be cool discussing the pros and cons of some of those choices.
Would it be possible to have telekinesis, and use the telekinesis to fly, like Mewtwo?
The problem is telepathy doesn't exist in this universe. It seems the genie can rearrange matter into whatever form serves your purpose, but he can't make a wish that allows you to violate the laws of physics.
I would keep it simple and ask for the private keys to a bunch of orphaned/lost Bitcoin wallets from the early days of Bitcoin. Then I can simply claim I mined them back in the day, cash them out, and declare them on my taxes. I get an instant and legal large sum of money. It's not poofed into existence or stolen from someone who's going to come after me.
Alternatively, I might just wish to find a very large nugget of gold in the next hole I dig in my backyard. That would serve the same effect. Or wishing to be the sole winner of the next Powerball ticket I buy would also work.
With genies, if you must deal with them, best to keep things simple. Asking for superhero powers is just asking for trouble. Just ask for various forms of legal money.
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