this post was submitted on 28 May 2025
682 points (99.0% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 184 points 1 week ago (3 children)

These glimpses into the world of the stupid and mentally ill are as fascinating as they are disturbing.

[–] [email protected] 103 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Bro, did you not hear? One of the nurses was a QT3.14, he didn't get her digits, and she probably thinks he's highly regarded, but he saw her. Surely that counts for something

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago

he's just like me fr

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

she thinks he's highly re~~g~~tarded

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The writing is too coherent, it's 4chan stupid role play.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 week ago

Which is still a sign of some mental illness, I'm sure.

[–] MDCCCLV 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wouldn't you feel like a fool if'n this guy figured out the secret and was out there taking 50 cal rounds to the face.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I think he doesn't need a 50cal round to the face as his brain is already damaged enough.

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[–] [email protected] 132 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago (3 children)

God that's so fucking awesome lol, what a hero

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Imagine his embarrassment when the charcoal just neutralizes all the toxic mountain dew and energy drinks in his guts, his ulcers heal, digestion improves and he feels better with more energy and then decides to go out and take up surfing, where he meets a nice girl on the beach and they hit it off and eventually get married and raise a bunch of kids, then BAM outta nowhere, 27 years later, hit by a truck.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

A tale as old as time

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[–] [email protected] 93 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."

getting outraged over this nonsense says so much more about you than it does about OOP having a giggle.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

I think the top picture is a banana with brown spots on it. And the bottom picture has the most obscene lighting I've ever seen.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I wonder what crayon flavor is his favorite

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Crayola has many colors but lead isn't one of them.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

He has a strong career in the Marines in his future, for sure.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Why is the nurse still on Qt 3.14?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago

He should get her number to help her update. She'd probably be grateful.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Because she's not a full gallon.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

It was the last one that was pure c++, before they started playing around with all this QML stuff

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This is why democracy is doomed to failure.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (11 children)

what's the alternative? I'm actually curious

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (3 children)

A good education system with good funding.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Dictatorship, duh

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago (3 children)

He took this old skeptic joke and ran with it.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (10 children)

This guy thinking real life works by rpg rules where blocking or being hit slowly raises your defense stat.

If this idiot had gone from... a .22 pellet ... skipped over .22short, skipped over .22lr... and gone to .223?

Thats a fucking necked, rifle cartidge.

Something like 15x the energy in ft-lbs or joules than a .22 short.

He would have blown a good chunk of his leg off.

... Anybody ever see photos of the aftermath of when a SWAT squad is stacked up prior to a door breach, and one of em accidentally fires a round into the back of their buddy's knee?

You lose your fucking leg, amputated at the knee.

I could find and NSFW spoiler post the images I've seen, but I do not want to look up nor see that shit again.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Anon wins the greentext of the month prize.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I dispute, there is no green in the greentext.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure, about what he voted.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago

The brain worm commands an offering of lead.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

Anon just moved too quickly. Avoid impatience when you’re doing important work like this, or else you’ll squander months of effort.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

They don't dig the bullets out usually because it causes more damage for no reason. Stop believing everything you read someone say on 4chan.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

It's likely artificial and homosexual.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Sure, but it could just as well have been dangerous to leave in. You must have serious issues to post on 4chan, so I'd say this story is at least plausible.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

You're supposed to shoot yourself in the foot.

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