I'll never financially recover from this.
this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2025
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We could pay down the national debt in about 4 hours.
A lot of men will need ~~bank~~ spank loans.
New business opportunity!
New fintech startup, Wankr, provides loans at 2400% to pay your wank-fines.
....Now to get $300 million in Series-A funding.
A few nation’s debts
These performative bills are so dumb; you can't shame the shameless. Republicans are open hypocrites. You think they care about this?
Push laws for actual protections against people being hurt
Absolutely will not happen in Ohio, the only way the statehouse could do anything beneficial for it's citizens would be to have a massive gas leak
They are too busy hurting people.
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They should quit trolling and start resisting. Gesture politics is a displacement activity.
I mean tbf the GOP has a supermajority in the Ohio House so there's probably not much she can do other than trolling.
Not true. She could take a page from AOC's book and inform the people of their rights and how to resist the fascist administration AND troll the fascists for their ignorant reactions.
Ohio voters recently passed a constitutional amendment guaranteeing abortion rights, so writing that bill here is certainly mostly a signal to national politics.
Also, I had a vasectomy, so would I still be able to wank away under the proposed bill? lol
Also, I had a vasectomy, so would I still be able to wank away under the proposed bill? lol
Required, actually. With mandatory minimums for both frequency and duration.
Fair enough.
How about proposing actual progressive legislation that would help her constituents, and calling out the Republicans who oppose it?
Agreed.
I get what they're doing, but they can look at the stats and see that Trump has broadened his coalition, in part, because of the fashionable hate directed toward men by people who consider themselves progressive, and stupid shit like this just adds gasoline to the fire.
Seriously, I'm so tired oh these "Gotcha! Look at how hypocritical they are!" gestures. They're empty and a complete waste of time.
They. Do. Not. Care.
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Which is great until you remember that the religious right is okay with that idea
It'd legitimately be hilarious if they introduced it on the House floor and the general response was, "Oh, yeah, this is perfect!" and it somehow passed.
Hilarious, but awful. This has cursed monkey paw wish written all over it.
I don't live in the USA, so I would be very amused to see these things pass.
It's already happened. Not this exact bill, but a "inception begins at ejaculation" bill. Forget which idiot Congressman proposed it.
I believe they actually did it before these people started to attempt to use it to troll people.
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Yah, the at times almost universal male genital mutilation in the US goes back to religious nutjobs like Kellog & co to stop boys from masturbating. It's also what motivated Kellog, in his quest for the blandest food, to invent cornflakes, because, apparently, spicy foods make you naughty. Good Glob, I wish I was kidding.
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Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
Their bill has some exceptions, as it says men in Ohio will not be fined if they are using birth control, donating sperm, masturbating, or having sex with another man or member of the LGBTQ+ community.
The bill is specifically aimed at men having straight sex without protection who do not then create a baby. (emphasis added)
all the listed exceptions will be declared illegal in separate legislation.
I haven't read the article yet but I'm really not understanding what they're even trying to dissuade here... Like what tort are they even punishing in their twisted little minds?
EDIT okay right away the article adds some much needed context:
The bill has been proposed by State Representatives Anita Somani and Tristan Rader, who wrote it to point out what they see as the absurdity of rules that control women's bodies but do not control men's.
It's like a protest bill.
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Would be nice if we had an actual opposition party to, you know, put in bills to oppose the massive abuse of power that's been going on for a while now. Instead we get frumpy faces, folded arms, an occasional angry letter, moral victories, and of course the "that'll show 'em" bills.
the fake christians of America prove why freedom of religion also means freedom from religion.
the term "moneyshot" gets a whole new meaning
I can't wait for it to pass
That just makes having a wank more thrilling, getting close knowing you're about to reach a 100 grand fine that day.
America, edging its way to a theocracy.
So, what you're saying is I can move to Ohio, open a sperm bank that charges $100 per deposit, and make a mint?
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if they pass this law, people would go out jerking off everywhere in protest
I mean, what about people with vasectomy? Do we just get the death sentence?
There would be a national day of gooning.
This week Im going to petition the Michigan government to build a yuge wall between us and Ohio. I don't want any more chronic masterbaters roaming our streets, they belong in Cleveland.
"Your Honor, I was trying to get the Kleenex pregnant."
Gun owning Americans, not being allowed to jerk off.
That's probably fine...
Right?...
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