this post was submitted on 22 May 2025
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[–] [email protected] 78 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Some say that to this day the weasel is still there being accelerated ever closer to the speed of light.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 weeks ago

that lucky bastard.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago

Shine on, you crazy diamond!

[–] [email protected] 72 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

No, because all this shit can be traced back directly to Regan, and probably Nixon. Nixon cut the break line and Regan shoved it off the cliff.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Here's something not many people consider.

Before Reagan, popular media had tons of intellectual content. Superheroes would hang out with Edgar Allan Poe or Sitting Bull. Cartoons like Mr. Peabody taught kids the names of historical figures and Bugs Bunny played opera.

Then Reagan deregulated kids TV and you got half hour long commercials for GI Joe and The Transformers.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Holy shit, you are right….and I can remember that shift vividly.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

I'm getting upvotes, so apparently we aren't the only ones who figured it out.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

The murder of Lincoln and not fixing the country after the civil war is probably the root especially for the southern strategy that Nixon would go on to use.

The murder of both Kennedy brothers is the next point, because it opened the door for Nixon who got the economy ready to inflate and fuck over Carter, which got us Reagan and the rest of the “conservatives “ who are actually fascist racists greedy asswipes.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Thomas Paine was right. It goes back to the founding of the country (at least) and the refusal to form a truly egalitarian society, embracing human slavery instead. This made the US Civil War inevitable.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Americans really do think they are the center of the universe

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

I think we made a big mistake coming down from the trees in the first place.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

McCarthy really fucked it all up for us in 1954 with the lavender and red scares. That helped set the stage for those later cunts.

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I like the theory that the Mayans were right and the world ended in 2012.

A redwood can be dead and still stand for years...

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

2012 was the start of the end, and it wasn't just an instantaneous catastrophe.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I have to agree with Stephen King and say that the Kennedy assassination was the moment it snapped.

Going heavy in Vietnam started the destruction of the US economy, and Nixon tripled down on it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The most unpleasant thing about that novel was that fixing things made it infinitely worse.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago

Weasel is a typo. It’s suppose to be Wheatley.

Wheatley was accidentally accelerated past the speed of light and now exists outside of time in a godlike state.

Still can’t make decent puzzle rooms for shit.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

It was a Field Marten, not a weasel. The Pompiers still share around the image of its incredibly crispy corpse that was retrieved from the service tunnels at CMS Point 5.

Timeline thing is whatever, the collisions happening in LHC are less energetic than sunlight on a sq cm of grass, they're just much better controlled and measured.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I guess the NPR article screenshot comes from the other timeline where it was a weasel then.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's part of the weasel family.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Technically no, both Weasles and Martens are part of the Mustelidae family, but they're different. I remember one of the shifters being super indignant about it lol.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

and just how many times has this ...weasel thing happened?

let me guess. it's impossible to know.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It could have already happened hundreds of times and we would never know it.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The TenForward memes have escaped containment again.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I've seen like 4 iterations of this meme so far and I get excited every time I see a new one, like encountering a new Pokémon

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

To quote Douglas Adams about a similar concept in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory mentioned, which states that this has already happened"

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I'm aware of the theory that a stupid cop shooting a gorilla put us in this fucked up timeline.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

I'm not sure why I felt the urge to make this after seeing the guy on the right's hard hat... Yet here we are:

I think he's an alien tbh

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Cleary he is a direct descendant of the extraterrestrial ruling class of human-alien hybrids that ruled over ancient Egypt, rofl.

/s of course

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Every construction worker is an alien when you don't know how hard hats work.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I can guarantee that the front of the netting isn't in its slots, and is pushed up above his forehead, essentially nullifying 95% of the effectiveness.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah I know, I just thought it was funny

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

except in the other timeline, the hadron collider opened a black hole and swallowed the earth whole.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago

they got the better outcome regardless

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

The weasel just wanted to go to a timeline where his family is alive.

It didn't know it would create the Weaselpoint paradox.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

Was it a lab leak, or live market?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

They're waiting for you, Gordon. In the test chamberrrr.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

Where's Gordy when you need him?

[–] Albbi 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I missed that Pauly Shore movie.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

I heard it was a stoat.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
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